15
7 Deadly Fears Explored: Exposing Yourself
Several months ago, I wrote about courage in writing. One of our writers revealed a painful moment of past in an article. She didn’t do this for sympathy; she did it because her history and experience was relevant to the topic. She believed it might serve to help other people looking for answers.As writers, we often draw upon personal experience when putting words to paper. It adds depth to our work, creating a bond with readers.
Revealing yourself might also work against you, though, particularly if you write an exposé that pisses off friends and family because you reveal too much. Always remember that while your life experience is your own, your history involves other people’s lives as well. Take their feelings into consideration.
I digress. Unless you’re writing a biography about yourself, I wouldn’t worry about the fear of revealing too much. People see what they want, and many times, what they take from your work is often unrelated to them.
It’s like a daily horoscope that deals in generalities. I used to be a professional tarot reader years ago. I heard other readers spew out mystical questions like, “I see a J in your future… Do you know someone whose name begins with J?”
If you think hard enough, I’m sure you know – maybe even just vaguely – at least one person with a name that starts with J. The good readers, the ones who truly have a gift, pinpoint specifics.
Jurgen Wolff says that people know themselves very little. He believes that the people who read your work of characters or events will always see themselves in what was written – even if the character or event is not based on them.
Why do you think movies have disclaimers that read, “Any characters portrayed in this film bearing a resemblance to individuals living or dead is purely coincidental”?
…Because someone, somewhere, is going to say, “Hey! That guy is just like me! HEY! Maybe it IS me!”
Nothing is different in blogs – and yet everything is different. There is no buffer between you and your audience. There is no one to say, “This isn’t about you. This is about me.” You have to keep in mind that your mother or your boss or your lover may stumble on your blog and read what you wrote.
The amount of information you reveal is totally up to your own personal comfort level. Only you can decide what you want to give to the world and what you want to keep to yourself.
My advice? Don’t be afraid of revealing too much; just reveal information sparingly and with care.
Help spread the word!
Welcome to our community. Kick back, put your feet up and join the discussion.
10 Responses - Leave your comments too!
Go ahead. Leave a Comment!
-
-
-
James is reading:
-
-
Taylor is reading:
-
-
Social Hookups
-
That is so funny…I used to do professional tarot reading too! I worked for an entertainment staffing company that would find us gigs at parties and corporate functions and stuff. Small world.
It is a small world. I think reading for people was the first attempt at my own business now that I think about it. That helped me pay for a few dozen boxes of mac and cheese in college, I can tell you that much. So, have you ever run across a situation where you felt you were exposing yourself too much through your writing?
Not until I started blogging. I still second-guess myself all the time. I don’t want to make myself look unprofessional by revealing too much of what I struggle with in my career, but it’s also the most interesting source of material–and what others need to hear about most. It’s a fine line, though.
I have been surprised to find that posts I write about myself seem to get more response than posts about other subjects. I ask myself why should people be interested in me??????
By nature, humans are voyeurs. We love hearing about the details of other people’s lives, and the more private the news, the better it is. (Why do you think porn is such a big industry?) Take a look at the news. A plane crashes? We’re glued to the TV. Horrified, but glued. Same thing with a beating, a fire, a fight…
Another reason is that the Internet and the decrease of face-to-face communication in the world has left a huge gap. Humans are social creatures and need other people to feel well and emotionally fulfilled. They fill that need by trying to get to know others, creating a bond, becoming friends in that manner.
It’s important to many people to know that I like cats, ride horses and have kids that eat butter from a spoon – they can relate to me on a personal level. There is a bond. They “know” me. Too, I like to know the same details about others, that they like rock music or their car is a beater or that they struggle to pay the bills. They become “friends” and I feel closer to them.
Anyone can get straightforward information. Not everyone can get into your life
And what we cannot have, we want.
S’my take on it.
It’s true, it’s all about the bond created between writer and reader. When you write about events your readers can relate to, of course they’re going to take notice and want to tell you about their experiences too. The same thing happens when you meet someone face to face. For example, I was in Starbucks a few weeks back, enjoying a quiet hour or two. A woman sitting in the cafe had seen me drive up on the bike earlier and started a conversation. As we talked and revealed small, personal details, we found we had a lot in common for a couple of strangers. We connected for a brief moment in time. Turns out she’s a barista at that Starbucks and I’ll probably see her the next time I go by there. It’s the same with blogs. You make that connection and it keeps people returning to see what you’ll say next.
This article is really interesting and I thought it challenged me as I just started blogging.
Being personal and revealing your real self to the readers has a credible and more personal effect to them. But it takes courage to do so, indeed.
I think it’s a matter of determining when and why should we put our selves in the intriguing eyes of the world in relation to the purpose of our article, blog, or website.
If we are confident enough to be exposed, it is our choice. Internet is a public domain (at least now).
It boils down I guess to the challenge of taking control every piece of information that we give to our readers as we establish a mutual relationship with everyone else online.
@ Croc – Why is a good question indeed. Everyone seems to be told to get personal, spill it, reveal themselves a bit – and yes, they should, to a certain extent.
But why?
Why tell readers about your divorce? Why expose an intimate part of your life online? Why share your dirty little secrets? What do you hope to achieve out of this?
Fame? Noteriety? Making people go “ooooh!!!” Alright. And then what?
Yeah. Why is a very good question indeed.
Cheers!