I read that Christmas post and was caught up in the anticipation of a Hollywood ending. Getting in the car and driving away reminded me that “real life ain’t Hollywood baby.”

People get weird when you break an unspoken rule – like they’ve been handed a free ticket to be toxic. Oh the power of righteous indignation – granting divine permission to unsheathe my mighty sword and slay the offending ogre.

Joe

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I understand some people being a little upset because he didn’t do anything; they have that right. What I do not think they have a right to do is act like their opinions and holier than thou attitude is better.

James made a decision, apparently with much difficult and stuck by it. I cannot say I would have made the same decision, because I have been known to give money to the homeless, but I would never, ever put James down because he didn’t do so.

Honestly, those type of responses just prove how ignorant people are. That is not a put down, just a fact. I do not think I have ever seen so many assumptions made in a comments section of a post. We all know what ‘assume’ means.

Just so you know, I have in the past been known, when I have seen people in need on the street, to just go up and give them cash. While some would call me stupid and this could lead to them just purchasing alcohol and such; well I beg to differ. Not all homeless are into drinking alcohol and who am I to judge. I am there to give, not judge. I honestly leave it in God’s hands. What that person does with the money is between them and God (if they believe). As I stated, it is not my place to judge and I do not preach. I just give! This has been wonderful for my children to see and I have always done it in a very public place so I never felt in danger.

Happy New Year and I hope all is going well!

I read the post the day it was created. I liked the post because of the honesty, and the fears you expressed were some I’ve had when I’ve encountered some homeless people, even though I do volunteer at a homeless shelter, I still occasionally have those feelings. I’m uncertain as to what I should do.

If we all think about it, we’ve faced similar feelings at some point in our lives those who were attacking you were doing what they accused you of doing. Insulting people is not the way to win people over.

My advantage is that I’ve had years of customer service experience, taken social skills training, quite a number of university courses in psychology, attended seminars on communication, and taken courses in social delegation (which means assisting your co-worker seek help for his drug or alcohol addiction or mental problem or divorce, etc.) Many – MANY – people’s extent of learning social skills comes from peers (not great), families (often dysfunctional) and friends (too relaxed).

But two questions help prevent the problem: Ask yourself, “How many possible ways can the other person hear this message?” and “Why do I *really* want to deliver this type of message to the person?” To hurt? To shame? To feel better about myself? To feel in control?

Or to discuss as two mature people who respect each other?

@ Jeff – Thank you, that’s so cool to hear. And I think you’re absolutely right in everything you said.

@ Melissa – Thank you, too, though brave isn’t usually a quality associated with me. Like Harry said, it’s always the posts we never think will blow up that have us running for cover. The posts that have us saying, “Ooooh man… Are you really going to post that?” are the ones that get the least commentary. Funny how the world works.