Have you ever heard the excuse, “Sorry, I haven’t been able to do that. Life got in the way.”
I have, often. It always makes me wonder whether the person really is struggling or is leaning on a crutch. There are tons of excuses out there: You can’t find the time to write because of the kids, the spouse, the day job…The cable man is late, the cats got in the garbage, the roof is leaking…It’s cold, it’s raining, the sun’s out, you’re tired…
Where does it end? When does life stop so you can do what you were supposed to do?
Life gets in the way of your responsibilities only if you let it, because life is everything, really. Your responsibilities are part of your life. When you use the excuse that life got in the way to explain why you haven’t gotten around to a task, you’re really saying, “I have more important things to do than this.”
For some, hobbies or playtime get in the way of life. I had friends who sat glued to the computer for days on end trying to level up characters for the World of Warcrack Warcraft game. I’ve seen these friends pay other people to level up their characters while they had to go to work.
For others, they put their goals on hold to take care of family, friends, and friends with families. I’ve seen these people burn themselves out pleasing everyone else and then scrambling to make up for lost time.
It’s this lack of balance that throws us off kilter. Life got in the way.
If you chose to be a freelancer, find time for your responsibilities. Being a freelancer is part of your life. It needs attention and it suffers from excuses that set it as lower priority. Words don’t write themselves. Businesses don’t grow on their own.
I made choices in the past to have the life I wanted, so that I never had to use life getting in my way as an excuse. And when something unexpected does happen? I don’t fall back on life as the reason for the inability to accomplish a goal or to complete a task.
I deal with situations and events as they arise – a friend in need, a family emergency, a power outage – and then I get myself back on track. Life didn’t keep me from fulfilling my obligations on time. Other events did.
I also make sure that I never take too long to complete a task. Sometimes, when I’m dragging my feet, I ask myself whether I am making excuses because I don’t want to do work or because I am afraid to do the work. I figure out what the issue really is.
If whatever slows me down is an excuse that I’m handing myself (and sometimes others), it’s time for me to buckle down and get to work.
So the next time you say, “Life got in my way!” take a good look at the situation. Decide whether you’re really just using life as your excuse.
My Xbox 360 tends to get in my way. It’s like I walk by, and it’s the drug dealer in the corner. “Pssst. Hey little girl. You have a character on Elder Scrolls who needs new armor…”
Damn thing.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. I’m lucky, I must be the only guy on the planet not addicted to video games. See, *scuffs toe in the dirt* they kind of make me carsick. But don’t tell anyone, k?
E-mail. Definitely.
Nice post, Harry. I agree. In the end, everything’s about personal responsibility, isn’t it?
@Christie: Very much so. It’s far too easy to blame everything else for getting in your way. Better to own up to excuses than have them own you.
OMG-did you read my mind? Guilty as charged!
My mom has a lot of medical issues and sometimes between that, working, going to school online and the rest of “life” – I do just want to scream”STOP the world, I want to get off now!”.
Of course, that doesn’t happen, so I rearrange the mutitude of “to do’s” and sometimes I just tell everybody in my life that I need a ME day. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t, but at least I am making SOME progress in setting boundaries. It’s a mental paradigm shift.
@ Stephanie – Whenever I get that feeling coming on, I declare a “screw-off day” and simply get away from the computer to do something else. Everyone needs a break. It typically never really takes me that much time out of my day to get a break, either, and get back to, “Alright, let’s rock this!”