Drive-By-Shooting Sunday: Head Rambles
Put up the “Gone Fishing” sign; announce to the world that the Pen Men were taking a well-deserved break, set life on hold…
Wrong. When the predators take to tall grasses, they disappear and leave prey with a false sense of security.
Expect the unexpected. It was the only way to operate under these circumstances. Canukustan may have been on to the boys and their methods, but the famous daring duo were always two, if not three, steps ahead of the competition.
That’s what made Men with Pens so great.
There was no way in hell he’d allow James’ idea of making one of them bait. Too risky. The plan that unfolded from there was brilliant.
It all began with one too many episodes of Myth Busters and a remote control car. Harry knew they’d need a diversion. The hits were getting tougher. The blogosphere was hitting back, and this was nothing at all like last week’s hit..
Harry pressed the button of the radio and brought the small box to his mouth. “Comment King. You in position?”
Static, then a voice. “Roger that, VoR.”
“I’m setting it up now. Get ready.” Harry tucked the radio in his back pocket and gave the seat belts wrapped around the crash-test dummy one final check. He shut the driver’s side door and took a last look at their handiwork.
From a distance, it was perfect. There was the driver, baseball cap and shades on. There was the passenger, arm cocked and elbow resting on the window. They’d even added fake hair to help the dummies pass for real flesh and blood.
He took out the radio. “It’s a go, CK. Get the car going. Take it nice and easy and try to keep the car on the road until I can get into position.”
Today’s drive-by is Head Rambles, the blog of Grandad. Here’s how the site looked at the time of our visit:
First impressions aren’t so great. What is this site about? There’s a car on fire, a .50 caliber, some drugs and an image that may or may not be Grandad himself. The mental associations going on with such hard images make the blog one that would probably attract a lot of the wrong type of people – unless that’s what Grandad wants.
The tagline explains it well, and that’s great, but we’d be cautious with the nationality association and perception. It’s far too easy to associate “Irish” with the pictures going on, and that may only increase the perception that the Irish are car-bombing drug lords that look like Relic from the Beachcombers.
Remove “Irish” and put it in the about Us. Remove the drugs, guns and car bombings, unless you want to enhance and play up the negative perception. There are other ways to do it without such jarring images, though. A personal blog with outspoken views is great, but a picture says a thousand words and it’s important to be careful.
The overall design is pleasing enough. Colors are muted, appealing and don’t hurt the eyes in any way. They blend well together also, and nothing clashes. You could put the secondary tagline next to the title and thus bring up the content a little more, but it’s not necessary.
The third tagline is very tiny and barely legible. And as a personal mantra, it might be good as a text box in a sidebar widget.
The top navigation is crystal clear and simple. Nice disclaimer, good one. Consider adding an Archives there, because you have a lot of content for people to browse.
On to the sidebar.
The RSS subscription is right above the fold where it should be. However, the email subscription is not. It’s way down near the bottom of the page and it should be up at the top below the RSS button. Make it easy for people to get your content.
“Hall of Infamy?” What does that mean? Who are these strange people? Are those names? Links we should click? Be clear – never clever. Call it like it is: Top Commentators. Ahhh, now we get it.
Remove the Pages widget. It’s repetitive and extra clutter. The calendar is also a waste of space. Remove the archives as well (because you’ll put them in your main top navigation, right?)
In place of the Blog Award widget, have your category list (call them categories; not tags) and place it above your top commentators. Trim down your categories, too. There’s no need to have a million options. Keep that list to 10 and label them properly so people know what it is they’ll receive when they click.
A suggestion for the blog links and websites – you have a lot there. You could remove them (why drive traffic away?) or whittle them down (you have a ton), or you could create one page called “Links and Resources” and gather everything there. Keep the clutter to a minimum.
Remove the Big Word Project widget – I’m not even sure what that is, beyond a button sitting in your sidebar. Cut out all those unnecessary buttons below it, too. If you want to show off your feed reader stats, place that underneath your RSS button at the top.
Cleaning up your sidebar would let you put the awards up a little higher. For the sake of this type of blog, we’d leave them in – they enhance instead of detract. But way down like they are now, they’re invisible and useless.
Having your Adsense at the bottom of the page is completely useless. If you’re going to do Adsense, put it in people’s faces at the top above the fold.
Way up high from his perch on the cliffs, no one could see him. No one. He lay on his stomach, his tongue sticking out in absolute concentration as he maneuvered the car below.
Remote control in hand, he steered like a Nintendo Wii professional. Thumbs pushed the small joystick, there was a lever for speed, and everything was going brilliantly according to plan.
Across and further down, Harry had crept silently through the brush and taken position long before. Undiscovered, he lay on his stomach too, sniper rifle in hand, scope on, and deadly still as he waited for the right moment…
One shot rang out.
Jamie’s thumb jammed down on the big red button and he slammed the joystick to the right. The car swerved and hit the guard rail. “Syanara, dudes,” James whispered as the crash test dummies plummeted to their death.
And there he was. The victim, acting like it was another day in the park. Five seconds… three…Another shot rang out.
No one outwitted the Men. No one.
31 Responses to “Drive-By-Shooting Sunday: Head Rambles”
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Hurray!! I’m so glad to see you’re still alive and shooting.
This was a very fair critique with lots of great advice for all us readers as well. I love these drive-by hits.
Thanks!
steph’s last blog post..you know it’s hot when?
Wow! That is great. I am delighted.
Too often a person will see a design from his [or her] own perspective without realising that it may be perceived differently by others. It is great to get a fresh view.
I can see I have a lot of work ahead of me. Incidentally, I’m amazed you caught the ‘Hall of Infamy’ thing as I only started playing with that a couple of hours ago. You are bang up to date [if you'll pardon the expression].
I am eternally grateful for the advice and will be up to my neck in redesigns now..
By the way – why did you shoot the Parish Priest? I heard the shot as I was walking through the woods.
Grandad’s last blog post..WordPress Plugins and all that
“…that look like Relic from the Beachcombers.”
You guys ROCK!
Nicole’s last blog post..New Addictions and Getting Organized
@ Granddad – And why was the priest not wearing his customary garb? A spy, methinks. Definitely a spy.
And yup. We take a couple of looks throughout the week and compare things from different angles. Like you say, a fresh view and different perspectives. It’s good to get a neutral opinion and that’s why I like doing these, because we really have no vested interest, if that makes sense?
By the way, it was cool as hell to read that post yesterday. Too funny.
@ Nicole – Hehehe… I was wondering if anyone would say, “Who are the Beachcombers?”
As he sat poolside, sipping his Skyy and Red Bull, the alert beeped on his Blackberry. “Rumors of MWP death exaggerated. Target eliminated. Services not needed.” The old Poet Warrior relaxed back into his lounge chair with a smile. “Welcome back boys. Thank God you were there. I still have no clue what that blog is about, but I did love the gun.” He realized he was talking to no one though, and it was almost time for the women’s beach volleyball team to start their practice.
John Hewitt’s last blog post..?A small sheik escaped? and other editing exercises to energize your writing
Grandad comes to my site too! He must of caught the hit that I took on my blog – some people never learn! I had to laugh at loud at some of his testimonials…A FUN blog!!!
Tara Jacobsen’s last blog post..Keep An Open Mind! How to learn something…
Secret joy that Men have returned, if only to wreck more havoc.
Actually, the joy might be because of the havoc. How remarkable.
Tei – Rogue Ink’s last blog post..A Love Letter to the Men
I confess the Beachcombers reference had me confused, but Google sorted that.
I’m glad you were confused as to what the site was about, because I don’t know either. I have been trying to work that out for nearly two years now.
Sorry about Saturday’s post, but I couldn’t make things too easy for you. Now, could I?
Grandad’s last blog post..Hung Drawn and Quartered
@ Grandad – Actually, it’s very cool that the site is about nothing, because your tagline basically says, “There is nothing focused on this site. Just the fact that I post here.” THAT’s making something out of nothing, and I applaud that.
@ Tei – We couldn’t NOT be there when we’d promised we would be, right?
@ Tara – Heh, yeah, I had some fun reading too.
John’s Blackberry beeps with an inconspicuous text message. “$50 says blond w/ red bikini bottoms beats brunette w/ pony-tail hair. Don’t tell Harry. Company $$. Drink 1 4 me.
- Puck, Faerie King.”
Harry,
Even my email is on vacation. These things usually show up within an hour of your posting, and here it is a day late.
Good hit. I’ve been waiting for this one because I love Grandad’s content so much. Reading this I remember that though I now just zip to the fun parts, I did initially have some confusion over the look, too. A few tweaks and it will be stellar.
(I’m not sure I agree over hiding “Irish” in the About, though. It’s a pretty big part of the reason people want to read him. That would be a bit like your hiding that you’re writers.)
Enjoy those margaritas in the desert until next week!
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Aren’t We Making More Money? Your Pain Points Revealed
No, not hiding the Irish – we’re all on the same length there. But don’t encourage the perception that Irish are car-bomber drug lords, because even if they are, we really love the Irish. Really. Because if there was no Ireland, James would not be who he is.
Hail Ireland. Down with car bombings.
Harry said it right before he said switch out the pix, which I do agree with.
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Aren’t We Making More Money? Your Pain Points Revealed
@ Kelly – Yes, if he’s going to keep the pix, which he might. Read the next sentence which said, “If you want to play up the negative perception.” See?
The picture of me [Relic] has to stay, because without me there would be no site.
The pipe has to stay because it’s compulsory.
The drugs have to stay because my GP says so. [He worries about me sometimes]
Maybe if I changed the tag-line to “Grandad ‘s thoughts about Ireland and The World”?
Grandad’s last blog post..Hung Drawn and Quartered
@ Grandad – Depends. Are you Irish? If yes, that’s more appealing than thinking about Ireland. Relic and the drugs could stay… sums up your posts nicely
Of course I’m bloody Irish! How dare you. And I’m a grandad and I have a beard. I smoke a pipe too. It’s all true. Read the effing blog!
Grandad’s last blog post..Hung Drawn and Quartered
So when can I get shot up?
Scott’s last blog post..Archangel Episode 7
I’ve followed you over from Head Rambles itself and I thought I’d say that this is a great idea… although I guess you have to be pretty thick skinned! I’m wondering if I am, so I’m tentatively putting myself and my very simple little blog forward for a shot: I’m here. It may well not be the sort of thing your looking to shoot… in which case, I’ll just feel a little relieved, so that would be fine!
J Adamthwaite’s last blog post..Eyes
Look Men With Penises, Grandad is a curmudgeon. If you homo-genify his site he will be just another bitter geezer with too much time on his hands.
Nothing you offered will garner him more loyal readers. What you suggest is cosmetic. You do not make-over Quasi Modo.
Love,
Sixty.
GoingLikeSixty’s last blog post..Contributing to Global Warming Because Hold ‘em Couldn’t Offset Watching Juno
@ Going – Look, sweetheart. I’m glad you know the difference between men and women. Otherwise we’d have an awkward domain name on our hands, now, wouldn’t we?
Our drive-bys are meant to be cosmetic, because they’re about graphic design. (Google it. Fascinating.) We’re not here to homo-anything to anyone, and we’re certainly not here to increase anyone’s reader loyalty.
As this snarky comment of mine proves, otherwise I’d be much more diplomatic about yours.
Speaking of bitter geezers, I see the pot calling the kettle black. Feel free to put your own blog up for the guns instead of picking on others.
Consider this your one and only warning due to breach of our comment policy.
Kiss, kiss,
James
@ Scott – We’ll slot you into schedule.
@ JAdam – You’ll be next.
Cheers!
Sixty – GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE!!
James – I must apologise on behalf of Sixty. He is a nice old man, who gets carried away sometimes [usually by men in white coats]. I love him dearly, but not the way you think, because there is an Atlantic between us. Please forgive him? Either that, or give him a drive-by
Grandad’s last blog post..Hung Drawn and Quartered
Who died and made you guys king EH! EH!
Just hope you never end up in my cab I’ll give ye drive by shootings!
EH EH!
Grandads little copier I am
Roy’s last blog post..An old Blogger has risen!
@ Roy – Born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I was. It was probably stainless steel, but I have a vivid imagination and seize opportunity.
@ Granddad – Well, Sixty can apologize for himself. He’s a big boy. I think.
Grandad is an absolute hero.
I like what you guys do, but surely sometimes he appeal of a blog lies in its little foibles, mistakes and idiosyncrasies.You’re taking a very business-like approach to blogging, whereas Grandad, like amy other bloggers, is simply expressing himself creatively in the way that suits him. Its OK to be a little oblique and enigmatic at times.
Andrew’s last blog post..Saturday at The ‘Head
@ Andrew – Well… this *is* our business and Granddad requested our opinion. He *wanted* to know what we thought from a business level.
Also, if you look back you’ll notice that nothing at all in our comments is really about business. It’s about usability. Making it easer for new visitors and making it easier for visitors who are there. That isn’t a business-like approach – that’s just good blogging, creative or not.
(Why the hell do we always get flack for doing what people ASK us to do? *sigh*)
Its not flak, I get why you do it. And iIlike your page, having only discovered it today. I also realise that Grandad wanted your advice. I guess my point is that I feel like i wouldn’t necessarily be put off by a slightly cluttered blog or some negative images, it might even make it more attractive to me.
Andrew’s last blog post..Saturday at The ‘Head
Wow that was a great look on site design and as someone who enjoys fecking about with webpages it came as a real revelation to me.
Even going by what you have said about grandads site has made me realise some things must get changed over on my little blog.
Although since you seem to be taking shots at sites I would love to hear your opinions on a photoblog/blog
Just to confirm – Scott, you’re July 13, JAdam, you’re July 20, and McAW, you’re July 27.
$25 bucks gets any of you moved to the head of the line in private. – Cheers!