Drive-by-Shooting Sunday: Linker’s Blog

“Hehehe…” James flipped the page of his comic book. “Been years since I’ve read one of these.” He’d found the mag lying around at last week’s hit. The woman must have had kids. “Love it.” James read a big more, chuckling to himself.

“Heads up.” Harry tossed the Glock at James. “Haven’t you outgrown those?”

“Are you kidding me?” James held up the vintage comic book. “It’s Richie Rich! These are the best. So where are we going tonight?”

“Clubbing,” Harry answered, then grinned as James tossed Richie Rich aside and headed for the door.

“You’re on, bro.”

This week’s hit is for Linker’s Blog, the site of Danny Cooper. Here’s what the site looked like when we drove by:

“This place has its act together.” Harry stared at the club’s decor, admiring the clean gradients and Web 2.0 feel. The images were nice and smooth with a clean edge, and the whole place held a sense of fun.

“Money.” James sipped his drink appreciatively, then waved it around. “Makes me think of money.” The green walls were a huge tipoff, and so was the kid in the corner with the pile of cash by his laptop.

He looked shifty. Was he in the business of making money? Was he collecting unpaid debts?

“Check out the kid with the cigarette in the corner.” James tapped a finger on the table, then casually looked around the bar again. “I think he’s onto us.”

Harry’s eyes shifted, the glance barely imperceptible and looking quite normal. “What kid with a cigarette? That’s a pencil.”

“What kind of club is this anyways?” James craned his neck to look around. “You’d think they’d be playing music… I hope it’s not disco.”

“You like disco.”

“Shaddup. Do not,” James sipped his drink again, eyeing the patrons of the club just in case they gave up a clue. If this was a country-western bar, he was out of here.

A major problem with the site is that it’s unclear what this place is about. Is this a link exchange blog? Who are Linkers? What do they eat for breakfast? Where’s a tagline telling us what this site is all about? Why should we stay? What will we get if we do? Free time? Savvy updates? Investment education?

“Hey, where’s the men’s room in this place?” Those expensive drinks sure went through a body fast.

“Not sure.” James noticed a few signs scattered throughout the place, but none of them were very clear.

Your main navigation has a similar problem. ‘Themes’, ‘Tools’ and ‘Resources’ are vague. What kind of themes? Free? What type of resources? Useful? Is this stuff we can download or links to suggested sites? More clarification would be helpful.

Then, reorder your navigation so that the most important title tags are at the left and the least important are at the right. For example, About should be far left.

Harry went off to search and when he came back a few minutes later, he quickly downed his drink and motioned for James to do the same, “C’mon. I found something.”

“The bathroom?”

“No. The back office.”

James didn’t bother finishing his drink. He left a tip for the server and followed Harry.

“Look.” Harry tapped the bright orange sign on the office door, “It’s the first sign I’ve seen around here that I actually understand what I get if I clicked.”

The RSS section on the right is great! No one can miss that, and everything is so clear, with that nice, big, clear button. It’s really easy to notice. Well done on that!

Another well done goes to the font that you’ve chosen, which matches the site very well. It’s simple, it’s easy to read. End of story. We’d increase the size a bit for better readability, though.

Harry opened the door, but the resulting neon flashes had them taking a step back, shading their eyes.

“Cripes, it’s assault by neon,” James muttered, cautiously lowering his arm to squint at the barrage of flickering neon bar signs hidden in the office.

“This stuff gives me a headache.” Harry wasn’t very pleased either, but he pushed into the room.

We’re not too crazy about animated ads. They’re distracting, and there’s enough distraction going on as is. Having the content flanked by so many graphics on either side is seriously taking away attention from the content. It’s difficult to stay focused on anything. You may want to consider cutting down on the number of ads and the color splashes going on.

“Did you see this?”

James looked at the spiral-bound book Harry held up. “That? Oh, yeah. I didn’t think it was anything interesting. What is it?”

“I dunno.” Harry shrugged. “It’s free.”

“So?”

The nicely designed ebook ad isn’t compelling in the least. There’s no text to encourage people to click, no blurb that entices us to check it out. Since there’s nothing to pay attention to, people will ignore it. Write up a blurb that tells people what’s in it for them and why they need to get this ebook.

James started rooting around in the file cabinets, pulling out folders, and riffling through the sheets of paper. The labels were worn off on the tabs, though, and he had trouble reading what each folder was about.

The “Popular/Categories/Latest” widget is a nice touch. It keeps all those lists in one compact section. However, the titles have too pale a border around each, and they come off as the title of one box, not three tabs. Fix that.

There are too many links in some of those tabs. Have no more than seven links in a list, and five is optimal. Otherwise, you present people with too much choice and they choose nothing.

James had left the folders and had started sifting through the desk drawers while Harry tried to crack the hidden safe they’d found in the wall. Fed up with searching, James pulled out one of the drawers and dumped it on the desk.

Harry turned round to grimace at the noise. “What are you doing?”

“I’m looking for a pen. I can’t find one, and I have to write something down before I forget. How can an office have no pen?”

The posts don’t appear to have an easy way to comment. Sure, the Comment link is there, but the appearance due to layout is that comments aren’t really welcome here. There’s nothing that encourages people to leave their thoughts, as the ‘Comment’ link is at the top of the post, and there’s no encouraging text at the bottom.

The site is missing ‘Subscribe to Comments’, too. Many people like to stay updated and participating in discussions. If there’s no easy way for them to do so, most people won’t remember to come back to your blog just to see if someone else posted a comment.

There’s also not enough social media for your posts. ‘Share This’ isn’t going to do it. Your social media is appearing in your footer though… way down below where the action is, so people are probably going to miss this. Get that social media stuff up in the sidebar where people can see it.

No pen. The flashing signs gave them a headache. And there were footsteps approaching. James sat on the corner of the desk, casually aiming the Glock at the door, and Harry sat on the other with his revolver.

The door opened, and the kid blinked. “Hey! What the -…”

Pencil Kid didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence. The boys fired at the same time, the silencers eating up any sound that might’ve given them away and the club’s music (80s hits) covered the rest.

Only the crime labs would be able to figure out which bullet delivered the fatal shot.

“Well, that’s that.” The bar’s patrons burst into cheers, and Harry looked up. “Hey. Feel like another drink before we call it a night? Let’s drink to the upcoming holidays.”

“Sounds good. I can’t find a pen anyways, and now I’ve lost my thought,” James complained, stepping carefully over the victim.

Harry holstered his revolver and nudged body with the toe of his boot. They’d thought he was an innocent, but their search of the office had proved this victim just as deserving of the hit as the rest that had gone down before.

How fitting for the last hit of the year.

Want your blog shot down? Hit us up for a private drive-by via email. It’s only $30 if you book before December 24, and you’ll get your shoot-out within a week.

Come on. You know you wanna.