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Drive-By-Shooting Sunday: Technosyncrocity
“Do you have a clear shot?” Harry peered down to where James was squirming into a better position.
“Shhhh…” An impatient hand waved Harry off. That was followed by a muffled curse and James wriggled again. If he could just… “Okay, hold on,” he whispered, taking careful aim. Tightly focused, he squinted down the sights of the Glock, held it…”Crisse.”
The mutter carried back up to Harry, and he leaned farther over the wall, frowning down at the victim. “James. Give it up. We’ll change position.” It’d be difficult. This was nothing like last week’s hit.
No, today there were too many people down below, milling about, and the victim was hard to see. Sometimes in the clear, sometimes not.
“I’m not giving up.” A pair of stubborn hazel eyes glared at Harry and then James scrabbled up from his position, stalking off with the Glock in one hand in long, purposeful strides.
“Where are you going?” Harry wasn’t sure if he should be worried or not. The answer didn’t make him feel any better.
“You’ll see.”
Today’s drive-by consult is for Technosynchrocity.com, the blog of Ben Overmyer. Here’s a glance at the site at the time of the hit:
The banner just can’t be missed… mostly because it takes up half the real estate above the fold on the page. It’s a nice design with a font and picture that represents the techno side of the site well, but the rest is just plain green space. It’s wasted space, too, so we’d chop that down, reduce the height (almost to half) and let people see more of the blog.
Also, a tagline somewhere might help to tell people what this blog is about. Anyone landing on this site has no clue what to expect, which reduces the likelihood of them staying.
The navigation is nice and clear, and it’s easy to read, too. The RSS button figures well, and it’s attractive to the eye. It may seem a little off center, so perhaps move it more to the right to keep everything even on both sides.
The categories are nice and high, and they’re clear as well. People know what they’ll get when they click. One puzzlement is that there are many different categories that seem unrelated, which suggest that this blog hasn’t found its focus yet. It may be a good idea to decide what your blog is about (and get a matching tagline, of course.)
Remove the tag cloud – that isn’t doing much for the site.
The posts are nicely broken up and formatted for screen reading (always a pleasure.) The font isn’t black, though, and it’s also a serif font, two features that detract from comfortable screen reading. Switch the font to black and a sans serif style, and you’ll be fine.
And… that’s it. There’s very little else on the blog, which is both intriguingly appealing and at the same time, gives me no reason to stick and click.
Put up a recent posts widget to give people some links to read. You might want to add a recent commentators widget as well, just to boost a little readership. Both help the blog look a little more alive, because the impression it gives right now is that it’s alone in the blogosphere, with one person posting and no one reading.
A little hollow, if you will.
Since we had little to look at, we delved a bit deeper into the About Us… and found your tagline: Technology, nature, and the human essence working together in harmony.
Now that’s cool, buddy. Put that the hell up in the banner!
Once we were on your About Us, we moved over to Who’s the Author (hey, another gamer! And a PbP one, too!), but then we were stuck. Where should we click to get back to the home page of the blog?
Yes, yes, the back button – but remember, people don’t think like that, and they’ll click away before clicking back. The Skip to Content link doesn’t work well, isn’t obvious enough and the font is too small. Add a “Home” button to the navigation.
He slipped through the crowds easily, perfectly at home in the midst of the people. He didn’t waver in his course, striding over the sidewalks to his destination.
Some people glanced his way, and James gave them a polite nod. He moved to one side for a woman and a stroller, and she looked flustered and happy when he smiled at her, ushering her through.
Then he was walking again, one goal ahead of him: The victim.
He ducked into the alley, walking to the end before turning around and walking back, only this time hugging the walls and taking slow steps.
One eye looked around the corner. He had a perfect line of site – and of shot. The Glock lifted in one fluid movement, and…
“Sayonara,” he whispered, and then pulled the trigger.
Want more? You got it. Check out our upcoming hit jobs:
May 25 – Book Club Classics
June 1 – Marketing Artfully
June 8 – Head Rambles
Want your blog shot down? Sign up in the comment section for your free drive-by, and we’ll schedule you in.
Or maybe you can’t wait. Maybe you like private affairs. Hire us for only 25$, and you get your private shoot-out within five days via email. It’s fast, it’s easy, and it’s dirt cheap.
Contact us. Come on. You know you want to.
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James is reading:
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Taylor is reading:
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Social Hookups
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Silly voodoo doll, I’ve been shaking him for an hour and he won’t wake up. Hellooo, little Pen?
Kelly’s last blog post..I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!
Muchas, muchas gracias amigos!
I’ll make as many of those edits – and, perhaps, consider a few more – as I can over the next week.
Feel free to drop back next Sunday to see what the New and Improved Technosyncrocity will look like.
Ben Overmyer’s last blog post..Passionate life.
Aargh, sorry Ben, to you it probably looks like I put a dumb comment up there. There’s an intelligent comment awaiting moderation. Hope it will help, when it shows up.
Kelly’s last blog post..I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!
@ Kelly – *yelps* I’m awake! I’m awake! I’m also on dialup this weekend so I’m not checking in as often as I should. One demoderation coming right up.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Drive-By-Shooting Sunday: Technosyncrocity
Your drive-by Sundays have really helped me as I plan my own redesign and in my work with customers. While I have long been involved in usability and content for static sites, your insights have improved my “vision” on the web. I love the suggestions you provided to Ben. Thanks Ben for being willing to be a victim and thank you Pen Men for your sharpshooting.
@ Kelly – Hm. I saw your comment. I hit approve. It’s disappeared into the nebula. The good part? Harry has the WP moderation notification with your comment intact – he’ll copy/paste it here for you to save you rewriting.
And I’m now dying of anticipation. I only skimmed the part where you disagree before I clicked, so the curiosity to know what you disagreed with is killing me.
@ Karen – Oh, very cool. That’s what we hope to accomplish with this feature. We like when people drop in their two cents, too. That’s always fun.
@ Ben – Bienvenudos, mi amigo. It was our pleasure.
@ Little Pen – Since when do you let women shake you? My friggin’ teeth are hurting!
I couldn’t possible rewrite it, that was hours ago. I’ve written three posts since then!
Only one woman gets to shake little Pen. *strokes his head* All better now… almost.
Kelly’s last blog post..I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!
Obviously I am immune to Little Pen’s powers. Here’s the stray comment:
All that trouble for one little link. Whitelist me already. What’s a girl got to do around here to be trusted with links?
Temptation to put naughty link in is almost irresistable…
Kelly’s last blog post..I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!
Well, I’ve implemented all of the recommended changes, I think. I opted to make the text black and Helvetica/Verdana. The initial font setup was Calibri/Verdana, but I think something went wrong somewhere along the line…maybe relying on a Vista font was a bad choice!
Check out the updated version…and, if you’ve got a moment, have a read through some of the posts. I swear you’ll enjoy them!
Ben Overmyer’s last blog post..Passionate life.
@ Kelly – The only reason you could read Ben’s site without your glasses was because he’d already changed the font. Trust me. Even I needed glasses for the first version and I don’t wear any.
(Well, I do… or should. Not because I have bad vision – because my zoom between near and far is busted and switching too much between the two gives me headaches. 20/20 with slow focus, in other words.)
@ Ben – Damn. That makes a huge, HUGE difference. NOW that site looks much better and I have a buffet to read when I land there. I’ll check on the tower tonight (on the laptop now), but I already think that’s a huge improvement.
I like the font of the tagline, btw. And down with Vista
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Drive-By-Shooting Sunday: Technosyncrocity
@Ben: Yeah, that’s the problem with using Vista specific fonts. Not everyone is going to have them so computers will substitute the closest font family to display.
@Ben the font is MUCH better but on my screen the logo has disappeared and is chopped off at the bottom, looks like the a ship that is sinking into the water and only the bough is visible above the water. What happened?
@Karen & Ben: That happened on mine too
Ben,
On Safari the banner is HUGELY busted. Oh, Karen just said that. RUN.
James,
Yeah, it was about three years ago when I was trying to find the point at which I could read a Trivial Pursuit card (moving arm in and out for focus) that my Dad handed me some cheap readers and said “try these.” I’ve never gone back, and the headaches are gone. Grab my cane (Harry’s usually got it) and toddle over to the drugstore. For ten or fifteen bucks, you’ll be happy you did.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!
@ Kelly – Nah. I have a pair of Guccis that I use once a year or so. The thing is, my zoom problem makes it that it’s not about my vision, but about the lapse of time involved in focusing, so glasses, technically, don’t really work. They only keep my eyes from tiring out so that when I do shift my gaze, I don’t get a headache from exertion. Since I don’t need them to see well, when I do use them, I get nauseous because they affect my vision aversely.
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
And on FF with my laptop and Win XP, I see your site fine, Ben.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Drive-By-Shooting Sunday: Technosyncrocity
James,
Are Guccis allowed with t-shirts and jeans?
Actually, it sounds good.
I don’t need them to see well, either, unless the day’s been really long. You have to take them off to look around the world or you get that seasick feeling. They’re genius for stopping the focus issue, though.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!
Hi,
I have a question. Why grey? (On the right sidebar.)
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Lavender Lingerie
I like the look of the site, so I figured I’d try it out on a few different browsers.
I tried it on IE6 (company laptop) and Firefox 3.0 Beta 5 (didn’t upgrade to the RC1 yet) on XP, and Safari on OS X.
James gave me crap one time a while back for not giving constructive criticism
so here goes:
The banner part with “Home”, “About”, “Who’s the Author” – perhaps I’d suggest aligning the words to the bottom so that they line up with the text of “Subscribe Now!”, it just seems that the eye reads across and then has to ‘drop’.
More importantly though, and I’m not sure how the site worked before you made some of the changes, but on all of the browsers I listed, the Subscribe Now! and RSS button, and also the ‘Skip to content’ link move around as you resize the browser window. Probably not something you intended.
Now, your content – I like it!
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..running debrief – the five year plan.
I like the greys and the greens. Very tech, yet very zen.
Kelly’s last blog post..I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!
Hi Kelly- I am not saying I dislike the grey, There is something bothering me about the impact of the site and I am trying to figure out what it is. I like his concept. I like the changes. I love the idea of tech and zen, but something is working against message. It may be contrast or quantity of those mid tones. Or just too much of the green. (Overkill) Wish I could put my finger on it. It doesn’t pop enough where it needs to, everything seems the same and I have a hard time reading much of the content because of it. But it isn’t a huge thing, it’s subtle. Sorry. But it is bothering me. It seems as if he has a fab idea, but if he is persuading, he’s missing just a little magic. Just a little.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Lavender Lingerie
@ Kelly – They’re gold with little flecks of bright blue, red, brown and green in the frames. Very neat looking… but glasses make me look like a schoolteacher. Even in jeans and a t-shirt.
And yeah, taking them off and putting them on does help the nausea. But I’m stubborn that I keep thinking I don’t have to do that and make myself sick.
@ Brett – Thank you for that – not having all those browsers available, that’s very helpful to me. And yes, heh, you’re the motivator – you have a tough time telling someone, “Cripes, this is a mess!”
@ Kelly again and Jan too – I agree. There’s a tech feel but also a natural feel going on with that site. Janice, in your defense, Harry hated the colors and said there was way too much green, but a smaller banner helps immensely.
And I get what you mean about not being able to put your finger on something. While I don’t get that with this site, I’ve had that happen and it’s enough to drive someone nuts.
I’ll mention that Ben’s site isn’t traditional in many subtle ways. There’s a look and style about it that isn’t what we expect. I like that feeling, but that may be what doesn’t feel right to you.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Drive-By-Shooting Sunday: Technosyncrocity
@James,
Hey, no problem, I’m learning from the best each time I read one of your drive-by’s, and it is a lot of fun. I play a game every so often, I’ll click to the site without reading your review, and see if I can spot anything, then compare with what you & Harry suggest to see how I’d do.
(You’ll have a Mac very soon!)
Brett Legree’s last blog post..running debrief – the five year plan.
@James- Phew, I am so glad you told me that. I love that this is a potentially exceptional site. There is too much green. He’s much too clever to be ordinary here. And it isn’t that it is an unexpected style. I tend to take each visual on it’s own merits. Let me look again see if I can pinpoint it. Something is working against message and making a very exciting viewpoint and idea not quite there yet.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Lavender Lingerie
While I was checking Ben’s site out again, I found a post where the title was in black. kids jumping in the water. Huge difference and I liked it. So I flipped back to see if that was it. Passionate life had change too. It makes a wonderful difference.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Lavender Lingerie
I’m looking forward to June the 8th! Thanks for putting me on the list.
I should warn you though, that there may be a bit of a battle as I’m fond of a bit of shooting myself?
Grandad’s last blog post..Green Post
As long as you don’t start shooting at us. Then we’ll just have to get violent and defensive.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Clever Website Content Writing that Converts
“we’ll just have to get violent and defensive”
This sounds like fun!
Grandad’s last blog post..Green Post
This is the first drive-by I have actually looked forward to. MWP vs. a true fighting Irishman. Ho ho.
Kelly’s last blog post..I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!
@Brett – Aye, I know the nav links are off-kilter. That’s a CSS issue I’ll need to hammer on for awhile. I just hope it doesn’t turn away visitors in the meantime!
@Janice – The wealth of green on my blog is a little…much, yeah. I’ll see if I can find a way to tone it down without losing the intended flavor. Thanks for pointing it out!
Ben Overmyer’s last blog post..Passionate life.
@Ben,
Not at all! I really like the site, so thought I should just let you know in case you didn’t know… I want to see you do very well!
Brett Legree’s last blog post..running debrief – the five year plan.
Ben- You’re welcome. It’s just a tweak or two. Love your point of view. Good luck.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..86 Million Reasons A Passion Position Works
Love the drive-by shootings. Got turned onto them (and your site) by Bob over at Writing Journeys. I recently redesigned my blog (http://www.kameronmf.com) and would love to be a victim. Keep up the good work.
Kameron’s last blog post..Fantasy Zines
@ Kameron – It’d be our pleasure to shoot your blog up. (And thanks for the kind words!) Does June 15 tickle your fancy?
June 15 would be great. Looking forward to it. Now, where did I put that kevlar vest . . .
Kameron’s last blog post..Religion in fantasy fiction