Taylor’s a Feminist – But So Is James
Feminism is starting to piss me off.
So unless you’ve been living under a rock for last few days, you know that James Chartrand, mon esteemed capitaine, has recently come out as a woman. I’ve known about James’ true gender for some time, and we’ve had a lot of discussions about whether, in today’s day and age, such a choice is really necessary to command respect in the workplace.
After all, I’m a woman. James and I do the same kind of writing, and our male clients have been absolutely thrilled with the copy that both of us have written. So what made the pseudonym necessary for James and not for me? If I can do it, why shouldn’t James do it?
And isn’t it our job, as women, to keep on keeping on?
Not at all, and I’m willing to fight anyone who suggests it. There are a lot of differences between James and me when it comes to the question of women in the workplace, but the one thing we have in common is this:
No one, but no one, gets to tell us how women should behave.
The Generation Gap
One of the extreme differences between James and I when it comes to being working women is our backgrounds. It never really occurred to me that I shouldn’t be treated equally and paid equally in the workplace because I’m a woman. My mother was always the main breadwinner in our family, and her male peers (and all of her peers were male, because female company owners are still rare even in liberal places like the Bay Area) respected her immensely.
It would never have crossed my mind that I couldn’t do anything I wanted to because I was female.
I thought I couldn’t do anything I wanted to for other reasons. I actually thought I was never going to be as successful as my mother, powerful woman that she is. But the very idea that I couldn’t accomplish great things because I was a woman would have been laughable to me.
After all, the person I thought I couldn’t live up to WAS a woman.
That’s how my generation thinks. We’re much, much closer to the glass ceiling than our mothers. A study done in 2005 showed that women under 25 working full time earned 93 cents to every dollar a man earned.
Women over 25? They were still stuck with 79 cents to the dollar.
That means that if I take a salaried job today, I might be earning $32,550 while the guy next to me earns $35,000. And that’s not fair, and I would complain about it.
But it’s nothing compared to the $27,650 that James would be earning right next to me, under his female name.
James is 38 years old. I am 25.
That thirteen-year age gap makes an enormous difference when it comes to how women are seen in the workplace.
The Name Gap
James has chosen not to come out with his real name, and I am of course going to respect that decision. I will tell you, however, that it is a distinctly female name. It’s not a name that could be mistaken for a man’s.
My name, on the other hand, is gender-ambiguous. You can thank my mother (again) for that one. She specifically wanted to give me an androgynous name. I imagine at the time she knew just what a difference it would have made in her workplace to have been able to leave that question of gender unanswered when we were still at the resume stage of the proceedings. She didn’t have her own company yet, and she had been handing out resumes not that long ago herself.
And women still weren’t as hirable as men, 25 years ago. Not nearly.
So my name is Taylor, and if I had chosen to pursue a salaried job instead of a freelance career, I could have avoided the embarrassing situation many women find themselves in today – discounted because of their name, before their education and skills are even checked. Female names are less likely to get called in for interviews than male ones – to the extent that some resume experts often give the advice that women applying for jobs in a “male-dominated” field should consider going by their initials.
As a freelancer, I haven’t found it necessary to put any effort into keeping my gender ambiguous. The fact that I’m a woman is on my company’s website and all over my blog posts.
But by the time potential clients find that out, they’ve already passed that initial stage of deciding whether or not to keep on checking me out. We’ve passed the “resume” stage, and entered the “interview” stage.
At that point, we’re dealing much more with my merits than with my gender.
The Freedom Gap
As James put forth so eloquently in the essay, much of his decision to keep a male name had to do with being able to earn a sufficient income to support his family. If he earned twice as much as James, then that’s a done deal.
Makes sense. Many of you with families would gladly take on a job at twice your current salary even if it meant some sort of weird workplace problem. Let’s say your boss is a jackass who hates you. Every day he tries to humiliate you in some way that you can’t quite take to the HR department, but that makes you feel like crap.
But if it means being able to send your kids to a better school, to not have to worry when they grow out of their clothes, to buy them the Christmas present they want instead of the one you can afford, many of you would take the job anyway.
It’s not right, or noble, or fair. If you were the hero in a movie, you’d tell that guy to go stuff his condescension and his job. The hero would tell him he’s a human being who’s every bit his boss’ equal, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. He’d stand up for what’s right, damn it, and there would be some very inspiring music playing in the background while he did it.
Except that’s not how it goes.
How it goes is that you get out the speech. and quit the job, and have to face your family when you go home. The family you’re supposed to be providing for. And explain how your pride was more important than their getting a new pair of good winter boots when they need them.
You’d swallow your pride. You’d keep on doing what you had to. And if you ever decided not to, it would be because your family told you it was okay to do it. That they understood, and they wanted you to. You would make that decision together. But you would never put yourself above them.
I, and I say this with a fair amount of smugness, do not have to do this. I am single. I am young. I am well used to living on a shoestring budget. I rent my home. I have few responsibilities and absolutely no dependents. I am responsible for me, and me alone. Hell, if I wanted to, I could live out of my car.
Which means that if I decide I’m okay with it being a little harder for me to earn the same income as the male freelancer down the street, then that’s my decision. Mine alone. That decision doesn’t affect anyone else in the world but me.
Which means I can decide.
Why Feminism Is Pissing Me Off
There have been a few blog posts and articles out there suggesting that James should have taken one for the team. That women have a responsibility to one another to keep fighting, to bust through the glass ceiling, to rip equality out of the hands of the men who are still (jeez, STILL) trying to keep it from us.
James didn’t help women, they say. He just stopped fighting.
Well, they’re right. He did. I can’t say as I see the problem with that.
The whole point of the feminist movement was that women should have the right to choose where their priorities lie. They should be able to choose to have a career, to live independently, to vote and own property and make mistakes and get famous and all the rest of it.
If they want to, though, they should also be able to choose to live exactly the way women had been expected to live for centuries – at home, taking care of the kids. They have the right to choose that life if they want to. And no one gets to tell them that they HAVE to get out there and hold down a job because women still don’t have equal pay in the workplace.
No one gets to tell a woman she has to do ANYTHING just because she’s a woman.
And that includes going by a woman’s name.
James chose to make his priority his kids, and that’s a damn fine choice. I choose to make my priority ME, and that’s because I have the extraordinary luxury to do so.
But neither of us is obliged, by virtue of our sex alone, to choose any differently.
The day we all recognize that will be a good day for women everywhere.
Let’s start today.
126 Responses to “Taylor’s a Feminist – But So Is James”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
Go ahead. Leave a Comment!
-
Affiliate Program
-
James Is Reading…
-
Social Hookups
As Seen In…
Overheard on the Web
MwP is Powered by…
Anonymous: You only have to read some of the comments in this post to see people explicitly stating that James should have taken one for the team. And yes, there are countless articles that say the same thing implicitly or explicitly.
I have a bigger problem with your comment though: Your claim that James “trafficked in sexism” is based on an overtly biassed and factually incorrect article published last week and perpetuated throughout the web. Rather than just blindly believe what other people say about someone, do your research: Dig through James’ writings over the years and see if you can find concrete examples of this blatant sexism. Trust me, the wors you’ll find are some good-natured comments on women that could just as well have come from a woman as a man.
Morten Rand-Hendriksen´s last blog ..Does feminism have a place in the web design world?
Yeah, the world is full of misogynist assholes who still pay women less than women, which is the cause of this whole issue and what does Taylor say? That FEMINISM is pissing her off.
You still don’t get it, do you? Your brain has been soaking in sexism for so long that the fault of any injustice ultimately has to be those who fight for women’s rights.
And who are these mysterious old school feminists who did all those bad things like denying biological differences? They are the standard straw feminists used by people who STILL don’t get it but can no longer be blatantly anti-feminist.
It’s sickenng.
Yeah, the world is full of misogynist assholes who still pay women less than men, which is the cause of this whole issue and what does Taylor say? That FEMINISM is pissing her off.
You still don’t get it, do you? Your brain has been soaking in sexism for so long that the fault of any injustice ultimately has to be those who fight for women’s rights.
And who are these mysterious old school feminists who did all those bad things like denying biological differences? They are the standard straw feminists used by people who STILL don’t get it but can no longer be blatantly anti-feminist.
It’s sickening.
Wow! I only read a third of the responses here and I am just so glad that there is still a raging hot-bed of discussion on such topics out there. I sometimes feel like any kind of explicit feminism is the elephant in the room.
You know what I find interesting right now? The debate about acknowledgement of sex difference. When I was 16, I was informed by a medic that one third of my life was to be dominated by periods from hell was my “cross to bear”. For years I was pissed off about the crassness of his approach. Now I know he was just telling it like it is…(Insensitive maybe)
Thank God am finally hitting menopause because keeping up in a male world with this kind of affliction is hell sometimes. Yes I had choices about being cauterised or a hystericalectomy, but is that the answer? I don’t think so; not for me.
My point is this…as humans, we do not as a species tend to generally make allowance for difference, be it being a woman in a man’s world, an ethnic minority, so-called disabled (by the rest of us!), being a red-head, vegetarian, etc. We are just too tied up in our everyday lives to really comprehend the vastness of human experience, even in spite of best efforts.
The older I get, the more I think the idea of total equality is just another myth maker which can conversely disempower those with differences to norms they are surrounded by. I have campaigned and will continue to campaign for equality of access to whatever is going, if it doesn’t harm the planet, but access needs to take account of the specific conditions individuals find themselves in – with all our plethora of dilemmas and anguishes – this is at the heart of James’s predicament.
James is a realist and a survivor as well as being an idealist. When her kids are older and she is on a stronger footing, she’ll be fighting like the rest of us… Am glad for myself that she was outed though because every time a story such as this erupts, people talk …and thank god. Your debate validates me even when if we don’t necessarily agree … : )
Denise´s last blog ..What To Look For In A Top Home Based Business
If going by a male name got you more money more power to you then.
I wish you all the best and continue with what you are doing.
One question are you going to continue with the male name or use your real name when you are writing from now on?
Julio´s last blog ..Cop brings a gun to a snowball fight
I, too, have issues with some of the tone that James has taken at various times, if even half of what the “feminist” articles have said is true. I am a writer and very interested in James’ experiences when she changed her name. However, it messes with the scientific method if the writing is different once the name has changed, even if it’s a slow drift. Talking about your balls is just, well, not what you would have said as a woman; it sets a tone that is very different. And so it really isn’t the same stuff as what you would have written otherwise — and can’t be counted in the comparison.
Aside from this, I think it’s a fascinating experiment to fool the Boys’ Club and then turn around and make them see they’ve been fooled. As someone said earlier, it’s guaranteed to make some of the people who have been buying James’ writing sit up and think a little about their biases. As far as I’m concerned, that *is* feminism: shaking the world up a little and making people really think about what they think. And, hopefully, changing the world a bit in the process. Step by step. In commendable ways or not. When everyone, everywhere, is stopping to think about what they’re doing and/or saying beforehand, then we will have won, because even if they disregard that inner voice, at least they will be aware that they made a choice. That’s more than half the battle.
it’s not hard to see how a male CD’s mind works. ‘He looks like me when I had my hair, he’s cool, therefore if I hire him I am still cool’. Choice of beer means more than ability and experience. I’ve seen plum jobs in my specialism go to young male writers, who then complained to everyone in the bar that they had no clue where to begin. It’s not just women writers who lose out here.There are decent clients paying top dollar for trashy, half-made work, and this is a big part of why.
Heather,
I’ve talked about my balls on my blog. And I don’t hesitate to use the term (when the conversation has turned to the courage/risk-taking mix that is “balls”) when I’m in conversation, either. So I can’t go back and restart this blog to see if James would have, but some women have no problem owning a word with such powerful, brave, hard-nosed, and slightly nutty implications. I can’t think of another word that works nearly so well to create a total understanding of that concept and I’ll be darned if I’m going to leave all the rockin’ words for the dudes.
Mine, by the way, are brass. James’, I’m pretty sure, are titanium.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog ..Full Ownership
“Talking about your balls is just, well, not what you would have said as a woman; it sets a tone that is very different. And so it really isn’t the same stuff as what you would have written otherwise — and can’t be counted in the comparison.”
Getting More Jobs: Are You Cocky Or Do You Have Balls?
Author: Naomi Dunford of IttyBiz
Do We Really Need Brass Balls?
Author: Sonia Simone of Remarkable Communication
And Kelly’s already mentioned that she’s talked about balls on her blog before. I don’t think that’s a topic that’s limited to men.
You’re right, of course, and I agree about using “balls” in a metaphorical sense; that’s become part of the parlance of courage. I’m talking about a different sense, as in saying you are being left out of a discourse because you have balls (as in, are male). This is much more literal — and literally not true — and therefore slightly borderline if you are wanting to keep to the moral high ground.
The issue with me is not with the name change, or even with writing in a masculine style. It’s with the idea of becoming the name change to the point of speaking in an untrue way. And I think, on occasion, if the quotes are true, James did cross that line.
Let me be frank,here: I’m a browser at this site. I’ve only been here a few times and don’t have the whole backlog of all of James’ writing in my head. I do think James is a generally very professional writer. He didn’t know at the time of writing that this would all go where it went. We’ve all got to have a voice, whatever voice we choose. I’m just sayin’.
And, like I said, I think the end result (waking people up to this problem) is really great.
Michelle,
You gave me a laugh. I’ve probably talked about balls at both of those blogs also. I suppose believing women have the right to be as full-throttle as men is part of my funky brand of… personism.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog ..Full Ownership
Great post, Taylor! I agree with what you, and many of the commenters, have said. I’m 29 and I think feelings on this subject have much to do with age and personal experience.
I grew up on a farm and my parents got married right out of high school. That was the norm in my hometown, especially for that time period. My mom owned a business and worked from home, but stopped when my youngest sister was born. I think women, more often than men, have to make difficult decisions when it comes to career vs. family.
James did what he had to do, as anyone would to support his or her family. I think we can all agree that James is to be commended for finding a way to successfully support his family. I just think for us women it’s hard to hear the stinging truth that he had to do this to get ahead. I’ll never forget learning in my high school sociology class that women make less on the dollar than men. It made me angry. It still does. I’m not mad at James, I’m mad at the fact that this pay disparity still exists.
My mom is a strong woman (she turned 52 today – Happy Birthday, Mom!), and taught me to be one. She told me that I could be anything I wanted to be, and I believed her. I still do. In the end, that’s what matters.
All that said, I’ve always thought James is a great writer. Knowing that James is a woman doesn’t change that. However, knowing more about him, has made me want to follow his story (and this blog) much more closely. Thanks for being real, James!
Laura Click´s last blog ..Social Media in the Courtroom
“That’s how my generation thinks. We’re much, much closer to the glass ceiling than our mothers. A study done in 2005 showed that women under 25 working full time earned 93 cents to every dollar a man earned.
Women over 25? They were still stuck with 79 cents to the dollar. ”
Guess why it is like that! Because men over 25 get promoted. Women less often. That’s called the glass ceili…oh…you mentioned that already. I think you misinterpret this stat when you say that this brings women closer to the ceiling, this effect proves the existence of THE CEILING!
Survival first, then the luxury of protest.
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Snowstorm! by Hot news-Hot relax
Two more thoughts:
- Since you’re writing on *Men* with Pens, people may assume that the *men* are keeping you in line.
- You’ve probably heard this, but does this mean that Harry’s not a man either?
Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Snowstorm! by Hot news-Hot relax
I think I know how James feels right now. I wanted to enter a female name in the form field to make this post. But that wouldn’t be honest, would it?
Some of the many negatives about feminism have already been pointed to here. But for me the most unfortunate thing is the dishonesty practiced in the second wave as a matter of routine.
There is no gender wage gap. Women earn less because of their choices. No matter how much we try to attribute it to sexism, welders will still earn more than child care workers, and there is nothing preventing more women from becoming welders. Hasn’t been for years.
The alleged wage gap for the same work repeatedly quoted here has been debunked as many times as it has been ignored.
Like any reasonable and fair minded person, I support the objectives that feminism claims to advance- equal treatment under the law, access to education and employment based on ability. Equality of opportunity, but not a guarantee of outcome.
In this environment, there was never a need for deception, either in the fabrication of boogymen that supposedly control the free market, or in the identity of the people making that allegation.
Paul Elam´s last blog ..Who are River Smith and Heidi Raynor and What Kind of Cult are They Running?
Yeah feminism is pissing me off too. All those LIES about unequal wages. Women freely choose to make less! And then have the gall to complain about it! Just ask Paul Elam.
I for one am sick of those feminists and their dancing with their boogeymen!
That is about typical for a response. Sarcasm over substance.
Paul Elam´s last blog ..Who are River Smith and Heidi Raynor and What Kind of Cult are They Running?
Yes, you are absolutely right, recently it is very difficult to women to live.