Do You Need Support to Take a Break?
Today’s guest post comes to you from a good friend of mine, Alex Fayle. He’s been here before, and his posts struck a chord with many people. Now, he’s going to strike another chord. Enjoy.
I’ve posted on runaway speeding trains and crashing your business or burning out your engine. I’ve also posted a starter plan to ease up on the train’s throttle so you can take a vacation.
Some of you already had vacation plans in mind, and others said, “Va-…ca-shun. Sorry, I don’t know that word.”
Honestly, I didn’t expect many people to follow through on either article. After all, you freelancers are workaholics. You didn’t start your own business to work less; you started it because you love what you do and wanted to do lots of it.
James was one of those freelancers I didn’t expect to follow through on his vacation plans. He’s Mister Busy with plenty of different projects on the go. He also hasn’t taken any sort of vacation in years. Why start now?
In conversation with him, I’d toss out the question weekly. “So, how are the vacation plans coming along?” I didn’t expect him to answer anything but, “Well, I’ve been busy.” I never thought he’d follow through on his dream of having a small vacation.
Then one day, out of the blue, he told me he had actually begun taking steps to plan for summer holidays. I’ll let James tell you in his own words what happened:
Once Upon a Time…
I’ve been wanting to take a vacation for some time, but it just never seemed the right time. Someday I’d take a vacation. Not yet. Too busy, got too much on the go. And besides, who’d watch the fort while I’m gone?
Alex quite cheerfully pointed out that there were many ways around my self-created obstacles. Internet is everywhere and freelancers can travel easily. Plus, I have people I trust that can help out. I can shut down the business for a week or two as well. Nothing wrong with that.
Alright, so my vacation objections didn’t really hold water. And still… something held me back.
Every week, Alex’s chipper, “How are those plans going?” nagged at me (in a really good way). He helped remind me that something was keeping me from doing what I wanted – and that I really should figure out what it was.
I started absently browsing for prices. Money held me back; of course a vacation is expensive. But – oops – that argument didn’t hold water. Trains are cheap, and I could travel far on less than $250 for my whole family. Even better, those Air Miles I’d been collecting covered my train fare.
Huh.
Alex nagged some more. “Where would you go, then?” Gaspé, I answered, or maybe New Brunswick. Was that just as cheap? I absently went to look.
Just as cheap, far more activities, and it’s kid-friendly, too. Huh.
Ah, but my kids don’t want to stay in a boring small Super 8 hotel… but I found out New Brunswick has a Delta Hotel with those cool themed suites. I was already saving on train fare, and I could actually afford a short stay.
(Note to Delta: I’m happy to spout praise for your beautiful suites in exchange for a lovely discount coupon…)
At this point in time, I’m hovering on the brink of choosing dates and making reservations. Oddly, I really don’t have a good reason not to go on vacation. The truth is that I haven’t committed because I’m scared.
That leaves me with two choices:
- Get someone to help give me a little push so I pick my dates and go have a great time, or,
- Live with my fears, never get a vacation and always have regrets I chickened out.
Knowing myself, it’s too easy to get busy and do nothing. So I count myself lucky I have a good friend who knows exactly how to help me get over it and get on that damned train to get the break I deserve.
Right, Alex?
The Nag You Need
If James, King of the Universe, can take a vacation, anyone can. Unfortunately, you don’t have Alex poking you to remind you to do something you really want to do, so nothing happens. The dream vacation you have tucked away in a corner of your mind stays there and never becomes a reality.
But what if everyone could have their very own Alex? What if each of you could have someone helping you look at why you’re holding yourself back from your dreams, give you advice to calm your fears, offer you tips to start planning your vacation and basically poke at you until you do finally take a step to take care of yourself, relax and get what you want?
Taking the first step towards change is often difficult. It very much feels like you’re making an irrevocable decision.
You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to make any commitment. You only need to open yourself to the idea of taking time off and exploring it further to see if it really is possible.
Bit by bit, you can work on all the reasons that hold you back until the idea of NOT taking a vacation strikes you as inconceivable.
That’s why I’ve created the Freelancer Vacation Clinic, a free weekly email that gently pokes you and helps you out. The messages are short – 200 words or less – which is just enough to give you something that’ll tuck itself in the back of your mind.
You can go on being your Busy Freelancer self, but your dream won’t die – it’ll stay right there, and you’ll start to think about it. You’ll eventually start acting on it, and you’ll eventually get that vacation you need.
Here’s sample of what the Freelancer Vacation Clinic gives you:
What if I can’t turn my brain off while on holiday?
Many freelancers are go-go-go people. The brain works non-stop (that’s tiring) and the idea of taking a break scares you (that’s not healthy).
If you can’t sit quietly with yourself, then something deeper is going on. You’re likely using work to procrastinate and avoid dealing with the real issue.
That’s okay.
You don’t have to confront the real issue. Go ahead and procrastinate from taking care of your problems if you want. Let your subconscious deal with whatever bothers you. Fill your conscious mind with distractions to give yourself a break.
Here’s a tip: It’s a lot more fun to distract yourself with activities you enjoy than with work chores you keep heaping onto yourself.
If you need distraction, a vacation might sound hard. When there’s nothing to do but sit on a dock with a book and a barbecue, you might worry that all you’ll think about is your problems – the very ones you’ve been trying to escape.
Opt for a busy holiday full of stuff to do instead. You’ll have plenty of distractions – and you’ll actually enjoy them.
What do you have to do? Just visit Someday Syndrome and sign up for the Freelancer Vacation Clinic email list. It’s that easy. And it doesn’t commit you to anything – except maybe finally getting what you really want from life.
Your turn: Are you all talk and no action? What dream do you have that you’re holding back on achieving? What obstacles are you facing? Tell us about it – let’s see if there’s a solution for reaching your dreams.
27 Responses to “Do You Need Support to Take a Break?”
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Alex,
I don’t have (too much) trouble taking time. But I admit that I have trouble turning off completely while I’m on vacation. I’ve tried it because it seemed like the right thing to do, and discovered—not that it wasn’t enjoyable—that I couldn’t step back in easily without feeling like work (which I love) was drudgery!
My solution is to allow myself not to be totally disconnected if the break is for more than a couple of days. (I know lots of folks probably couldn’t do that, but I have family priorities that keep me from messing up and making it a working vacation.)
I schedule myself very lightly, just things I can do at midnight after our family fun is over, but I still do something during the week. I didn’t like that my vacations were ruining my work. My odd solution makes the whole thing smoother.
James,
Here I’ve been poking you about a rest and you have a professional poker?
And you’re still not convinced? Men With Pens can be stubborn ol’ things, can’t they?
NB sounds like fun. Do it.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post…How to Make It Very Difficult for Me to Eat My Lunch
I was probably the only freelancer who already had a vacation planned when you wrote the Freelancer Vacation guest post Alex. Truth be told, I probably would have cancelled the vacation if it wasn’t for the fact that my entire family was counting on it already.
To those who think their business will go to dogs behind them – it won’t. I did something a little more dangerous. I didn’t delegate or referred work etc. I completed all my projects and did not take any more projects, letting my clients know that I was going on vacation.
I had a great time on my 10 day break. I’d sign in every alternate day or so, check my email, twitter around and go back offline to my next adventure.
Once I was back, I had a panic attack. What kind of a fool wraps up all their projects and goes away? That’s like closing shop! Why did I not take new projects and assign them to a freelancer friend? etc.
But you know what happened? All it took was an email to all my clients letting them know that I was back. I got work immediately. A few were a little challenging by asking me to take on rush work.
I didn’t mind. I was back from my break with a fresh mind. I took all those projects, delivered them on time and actually ended up earning more that I’d earned in my previous, vacation less month!
So there. Take that vacation already people! You owe it to yourselves!
Samar´s last blog post…Awarded! I’d like to thank…
Hmmm…my someday dream is a bit of a weird one.
I really love Australia, but want to work in America. Trouble is… my profession of law is not really conductive to working overseas, as all the technical stuff doesn’t transfer over – one country’s laws are totally different from another.
At least I’m lining up a holiday there in September.
James, just go and make those reservations already! Actually, if you want a push, go and tell your kids that you’re going to New Brunswick this summer. You know you won’t want to disappoint them so you’ll end up making the reservations. They’ll nag you (lovingly) until you do.
I can’t imagine you letting a little thing like being scared stopping you doing something you want to do. You’re more likely to go and do it just to show the fear who’s boss. Go for it, and have a great time!
Melinda´s last blog post…Value Based Coaching Fees? Thinking Out Loud
I find vacations really spark my creativity. I have a small digital recorder that easily fits in my pocket. Whenever I get an idea for writing, I dictate it for later listening and transcribing.
John Soares´s last blog post…Increased Percentages of Adjunct/Non-Tenure Track Faculty at American Colleges and Universities
@ John – Ha, I always end up grabbing the nearest scrap of paper and writing some obscure note like “Ookpik!” on it. Got pens in the car, in my pockets… Then a month later I go… “Ookpik? What the hell…?”
Even worse is jotting down phone numbers with no notes or names. Oy!
@ Melinda – And YOUR vacation plans would be…? There’s the pot calling the kettle black!
@ Patrick – I hear you on changing laws. Canada has a set, each province has their own separate set and good luck trying to figure it out.
What about moving to wherever you’d like and providing virtual service to Australians?
@ Samar – You’re awesome. You went through and did it, and see, the results were worth it! I think we all know vacations are necessary and that we’ll feel better taking them – it’s the actual “Okay, I’m doing it!” that gets tough. Kudos to you for following through.
@ Kelly – I’m getting there! I promise! It’s just that… I… well… what if… you know.
But I am taking more hours off on weekends. Small training process in the works.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens´s last blog post…Do You Need Support to Take a Break?
I 100% agree with the value of time away. It will not happen for me this year, but next year for certain. James my man, you deserve it. Have fun, then come back and tie the experience into an awesome post. Alex, great job. I totally agree.
Writer Dad´s last blog post…Serial and Milk: Available Darkness – Chapter Four
I’m planning on doing lots of traveling to geek conventions (gaming, sci-fi, etc) which is sort of a vacation (since I won’t be doing any writing there, just schmoozing and enjoying myself). That’s part of the reason why I have my asst dreamgirl, J. She’ll be doing any of the dating profiles that get ordered while I’m out of town. Sure, I’ll probably still check my email far too often, but at least I’ll be out and about!
Geek’s Dream Girl´s last blog post…Free Communication Weekend at Chemistry.com!
Very interesting article! Since I start planning my next vacation before the current one is over, it never dawned on me that people actually have trouble taking time off.
Currently I put aside a chunk of cash every month in a tax free savings account (yay Canada!), just for the next big vacation. Of course, this year I have a lot more project responsibilities, so it will be interesting to see how I manage while on the road.
For my writing and content gigs I find that WordPress’ future publish date is a godsend. There’s nothing like sitting in a hot tube knowing that your post just went up
Hot tube eh? Sounds…dangerous?
Alex, this is beautiul. Perfect.
Like James I’m a go-go-go person, and I’m thinking a daily vacation is a good idea too. Daily sitting practice, daily breathing practice, daily movement, daily walk-outside-and-feel-your-feet-on-the-ground practices. Anything to get present, in your body. Anything to still the yammering harpies of busyness and distraction.
Thank you boys!
Hm….I’m thinking the more you think of how toes wiggling in the water good it might feel, the lure of some drifting time might take over. And bonus, your family gets to see you just be, gets to know who you are apart from your business. Bonus. Prob’ly be good tickle time rolling in the grass why did we wait so long fantastic for all of you.
So we’ll nag.
And look, Alex is even a pro at it.
Fabulous idea, Alex. Fabulous.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post…Deconstruction and Possibilities
I’m pretty good about taking time for myself during the week, including naps, a scheduled session to play with clay, and just time to stare into space. But real vacations have been sort of a mystery to me.
So I’ve started two savings accounts. One is just for me titled originally enough “my vacation.” The other is a secret plan I have for a trip for the whole family.
Every time I look at my numbers and my ing account I see both of those and it warms my soul. And both accounts are growing.
A
Anne Wayman´s last blog post…How to Turn One Book Into a Full-Time Living – Guest Article by Peter Bowerman
Uh James, my vacation plans are, uh, still being planned. Umm, yeah…
Oh hang on, I’m on holidays at the moment! Right now, six days at the in-laws remember? And while I’m here, I’m posting on the blog, emailing stuff for a committee I’m on, writing guest posts, commenting here…
That’s not what you meant by vacation? I guess this is pot calling the kettle black then…
Melinda´s last blog post…Value Based Coaching Fees? Thinking Out Loud
No, James, you don’t have time for a vacation. Vacations are for the weak. Only a fool would think that MwP could run without its Atlas for any length of time. You’re right to fret about what could go wrong in your absence, about all the good things that won’t get done without you.
Absolutely.
And when you finally do get that wheelchair, you’ll look back on your busy, busy life and you’ll be glad that you didn’t take opportunities to relax; think of what a less-wonderful place the world would be for your kids if you hadn’t written those articles, filed those files, and posted those posts without ever seeing how truly wonderful New Brunswick is.
Sans doute. ;P
@ Rose – I was hoping for a rocking chair, not a wheelchair, but if I have to have a wheelchair, I want the ones that they use for basketball that go like a sonofabitch and turn on a dime. Race ya!
@ Melinda – You TOO can get a professional poker like Alex! (I’d say you need one
@ Anne – Oh rock on with that! That’s a brilliant idea and I fully encourage that. I have the same here, a special account that I add to periodically. Good on you for being financially smart!
I like the “mini-vacations” idea, too. I agree that these little daily pleasures count a good deal. My mini-vacation is guitar
@ Janice – Rolling in the grass… *ahem!* Yes, that toe-water-dabbling thing does sound nice, eh? I like beach glass. Maybe I’ll find myself a pocketful.
Aw, man, now you made me *really* want to go.
@ Lisa – I find it hard to break for those mini-breaks, but once I do and have them, I *definitely* find it much better for me. Keeps my love affair for my work nice and high, because I’m rested and feeling good.
@ Travis – Hot tube indeed! The only tubes I know pelt down snow-covered hills at nearly vertical angles in the middle of February. I’m currently quite curious about these hot tubes… hm. There’s a business idea in there somewhere, I’m sure of it…
@ Geek – We call those working vacations. Fully tax deductible, which is great!
@ WriterDad – Oh man, you just want more posts from me, don’t you. I see where you’re comin’ from… mmhm.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens´s last blog post…Do You Need Support to Take a Break?
I just found this blog and you guys rock! I love to write, but it takes time because I’m out of practice! With your tips, I’m well on my way to bibliofame!
Wendy Kenney´s last blog post…Real Life Twitter!
@ James
Well I’m not entirely sure of the laws and logistic in providing off-shore legal advice, but I have been thinking of expanding into freelance writing to gradually free myself of the geographical shackles.
I should buy your becoming a freelancer book.
Argghhh!!!
On Friday I did a nice thorough response to everyone’s comments up to Geek’s Dream Girl, but it save. Argh, argh argh!
Tomorrow I promise to redo it all and to respond to the rest of you. We have guests and I’m taking the weekend off.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…Checking in With My Past
I hear you with regards to vacation! I was ON vacation on the day Google started killing one of my most popular sites online; I vividly remember sitting at the hotel computer in North Carolina watching it occur.
It taught me that life just plain happens. You experience a train wreck in your business; you turn on a dime and fix it when you get back. The world never stops revolving.
I’ve had a much easier time taking vacations ever since.
Data points, Barbara
Barbara Ling´s last blog post…#futuresummit
I try to take Thursdays off from work, household and family as often as I can (usually a minimum of 2x a month) just to prevent burnout. I also book 3 different trips a year: one for a group retreat, one for a writer’s conference, and one for a solo retreat. This way, if we can’t swing vacation, I still have some built in downtime. Let me tell you, it saves me from all sorts of burnout disasters.
Tamara´s last blog post…Creative solutions for the writer who doesn’t want to be yet another Voice in the Dark
I had a little bit of a tihnk about what I wrote in this topic.
As a lawyer, my job is to be a communicator. My role is to provide a translation and communication service – how does this fairly complex subject affect someone else?
When it’s thought of it in those terms all kinds of possibilities open up.
@Kelly
If you can’t enjoy yourself completely taking off, then yeah it’s a good idea to do a little bit, as long as you’re not ignoring your holiday or your family. Vacations are supposed to be fun, so do what you like to do.
@Samar
You are the poster child for Freelancer Vacations! I love that you actually made more money by taking time off (and making your clients impatient to have you back – I think there’s a marketing lesson in there somewhere).
@Patrick
I’m with James – maybe there’s a way to offer virtual services to clients in Australia and then add the twist of doing it while they’re asleep to take advantage of the time difference.
@Melinda
That’s a good idea about telling the kids – as long as you actually follow through. If not, then you got really disappointed kids who’ll never trust your word again.
@John
That’s exactly why people should take vacations – it’s like taking time off from training – you come back refreshed and with recharged creativity.
@Writer Dad
So, if you don’t take a vacation this year are you considering a staycation? Where you stay at home on the cheap but you don’t actually work?
@Geek’s Dream Girl
What a great way to combine things! When I used to travel for conferences, I always tried to take a few days before or after to see the sites and enjoy myself a bit.
@Travis
Hot tube – sounds like an XXX version of YouTube.
I love that your planning includes putting away money – that’s a hard thing to do but so important.
@Lisa
I take a daily vacation too, but it’s less spiritual. I watch an hour of TV a day, usually midday turning off my brain completely. I come out of it refreshed and ready to go.
@Janice
You paint with words as well as you do with colours. Now *I* want to go dip my toes in the water!
@Anne
Good for you for the daily stuff – I’m a big fan of naps too. And what a wonderful surprise for your family when you announce the vacation for them!
@Rose
But it’s a good message you give there!
I don’t think reverse psychology works on James.
@Wendy
I get out of practice really quickly too! Glad you like the site – the Men with Pens have been an amazing inspiration to me!
@Patrick (again)
You might be right about the offshore legal advice, but perhaps a non-legal aspect that supports legal types (I’m thinking Amy Derby blogging for lawyers for example – http://write-from-home.com/about ) – and great work with the rethinking your skills!
@Barbara
Ouch! Glad you’ve learned to take the crap that Google life hands to you in a more relaxed style – it is so true though. Very little is so important that it can’t wait until you’re done your vacation.
@Tamara
I want your schedule! Oh, wait, I mostly have that schedule.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…Take On More Projects and Get More Done
@James And @Alex,
All part of my evil plot to somehow end up in Alex’s part of the world for some toes wiggling in the water time myself..;-)
And James… Ahem yourself… artist smiles … I love sea glass. Now you have to go cause there’s treasure to be had.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post…The Hamptons In Flip Flops and Kevin Bacon
Thanks Alex for pointing at that link. I’ll add her law blogging feed to my reader.
Thanks also for providing food for thought in this topic. Think I will change my blog focus from news to actually communicating information. So my tagline will move from “Keeping you on the cutting edge of environmental law”, to something like “Helping everyone understand environmental law” (which probably still needs work).
Now I just need to ask James what this will mean for the redesign work I’m getting done…
If all your advice is as good will add you to my reader too.
Sometimes we really need that someone who will push us to take a much needed and deserved break. In the end, we’ll even end up thankful that someone has pushed us to take a specific vacation.
Me, I like to rest up on Fridays. I’ve learned long before not to stress the whole week, definitely not good. Chilling out on Fridays prepares me for the weekend ahead. I also try to take a trip at least once a year, just to get some time off and unwind.
@Wholesale Printing
What a great way of working- Friday chillouts to prepare for a really relaxing time on the weekend. Now that it’s summer I plan on doing that more with visiting the beach a lot more…
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…Make a Decision, Any Decision: Lea Woodward Interview