From Humble to Riches: Linking Out
Harry said today, “It’s good we’ve got humility.”
I blinked. “Uh, Harry? I don’ think humble is one of the words that come to mind when people think of me.”
Success has a lot to do with your attitude. You don’t have to scuff your toes in the dirt and hang your head when you receive compliments. It’s okay to be proud – more than okay.
To understand this point, take a look at some definitions of humble:
- low or inferior in station or quality; “a humble cottage”; “a lowly parish priest”; “a modest man of the people”; “small beginnings”
- marked by meekness or modesty; not arrogant or prideful; “a humble apology”; “essentially humble…and self-effacing, he achieved the highest formal honors and distinctions”- B.K.Malinowski
- cause to be unpretentious; “This experience will humble him”
- used of unskilled work (especially domestic work)
- humiliate: cause to feel shame; hurt the pride of; “He humiliated his colleague by criticising him in front of the boss”
- base: of low birth or station (`base’ is archaic in this sense); “baseborn wretches with dirty faces”; “of humble (or lowly) birth”
Wow. I so don’t want that to be me. Low station? Inferior in quality? Meek? No. I want to act like a winner and become successful.
I don’t think great humility will get me there, to tell you the truth. I don’t think being an arrogant shit will gain me much success either. There’s a happy ground between the two states and it certainly doesn’t include groveling and self-effacement.
I have had a few humbling experiences, though. One of them is when I inadvertently exploded the blog because something I wrote offended some people. I didn’t mean to, honestly. It just happened. That’s why the post from Mary Beth Ellis on Freelancing and Public Furor really touched me. I feel for you, Mary Beth.
Speaking of feeling, there’s plenty of that in Charlie’s post about Ways to Recognize the Client from Hell. Not only is Charlie a great writer with an entertaining flair, but he also appears to have firsthand experience with those red-flag warnings a project is heading for disaster. Come to think of it, so have I.
Some more red-flag warnings are symptoms that your work/life balance aren’t equal. We all know what those signals are – burnout, constant fatigue, discouragement, kids crying for attention, a partner complaining about lack of affection, and feeling like a raging failure.
We all have days like that. Sometimes, remembering why you started freelancing in the first place helps rebalance your life.
Hm. About freelancing… For those hopeful souls considering self-employment for a living, take a look at this post from Instigator Blog that lays out the pros and cons of freelancing first. Then learn how to kiss some ass so you can get paid faster.
Ah, getting paid. Here’s another good one from Instigator blog (I miss your posts, Ben!) about how to set your rates for freelance work. While one would think that everyone has finally figured out decent rates for their skills and talent, it appears not. Here are some great examples that many would-be writers haven’t figured out that $5 is not an acceptable pay rate. Read this, this and this.
Learn, go forth and prosper.
21 Responses to “From Humble to Riches: Linking Out”
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To be successful, you absolutely need to have “sufficient arrogance” to stand up for the quality of your skills. I’t possible to do that without being an ass.
There’s an expression: “Your talent can take you where your character cannot sustain you.” I think most assholes forget that
Dave Navarro – Million Dollar Leverage’s last blog post..Christine O?Kelly Is Officially On Notice
Depends on your perspective of what makes an ass – my tolerance level is much higher than other people’s for some things and much lower for others. Every person sees ass differently. (That did not sound good.)
But I do see a lot of people post comments about how we should be humble – no. Wrong word, folks. It’s modest, not humble. Damned if I’ll be humble.
Great post, and thanks much for the mention!
Arrogance and humbleness are relatives and they sleep in the same bunk. One of them says, “I’m the best. Look at me and what I can do.” Then he wants, no, demands payment that you don’t really want to give.
The other doesn’t say a word. He just goes about his business creating things that take your breath away. And when he’s finished you wish you could give him more than he asked for.
Attitude goes a long long way in my book. I never work with jerks. Not ever. I won’t be responsible for putting any more wind in their tattered sails.
PS. Best sentence of the day by far: “Every person sees ass differently.”
Charlie – Ignite Living’s last blog post..Anti-GTD advice: Managing your email and good customer service
Great post and wonderful links! Yeah, I was thinking “modesty,” but why is there no word for not being an ass that also doesn’t get misinterpreted as being weak? But confidence really carries you a long way.
Even better than confidence is an utter lack of desperation. I require clients to prepay the full amount, which is not what most freelancers do. There have been occasions when I was tempted to back down from that… but I didn’t and I’m very glad I didn’t. So, not humble, but not an ass, either.
But then, everybody sees ass differently, don’t they?
Michael Martine’s last blog post..Overheard in the Blogosphere 15
I’m never going to live that one down, am I…
I think the best link up there was the one from On Moneymaking (see: “being an arrogant shit”). Jon had some good discussion going about what it takes to be successful. I’m not one of the humble, and I tend to not be modest, but I’m not arrogant either (I hope I’m not, anyways…), and I definitely don’t want to be an ass. (When I am, I just blame my French roots.)
Unfortunately, confidence is often perceived as arrogance (usually by those who are envious or jealous) and the person who achieves success because of confidence is perceived as an ass. But the truth is that the wallflowers don’t achieve the same heights of success as the go-getters do.
Very good post and a great topic for discussion. James, you had me cracking up when you said, “Damned if I’ll be humble.”
I’ve been sitting here for awhile trying to put my thoughts into words. It’s funny, I never really thought of it in this way.
I think in the long run you got it right. You need a little mesh of humility and arrogance and that is the word we need. We need the humility to shut up and listen to those who know more than we do but we need to use our arrogance to put it into action and decide what we choose to take from others.
Does that make sense?
Let me ask this, though. Aside from business, do you feel you could be humbled if you went to a 3rd world country and helped starving children? Any thoughts?
John Hoff’s last blog post..My Marketing Hero Himself – Seth Godin
Hey James:
Great post. Here’s another perspective – humility is seeing yourself clearly, your plusses and minuses and acting accordingly. That’s the definition I like and I’m sticking to it! I know I’m good at what I do, I also know I’m not perfect, I occasionally makes mistakes, and sometimes someone else is the better choice. (How’s that for a run-on sentence?) My challenge in this business more often comes from male clients who assume I’m willing to accept less because I’m a woman. (Remember, I live in the south). Ummm, no.
@ Christie – To all those who believe that women’s equality in the business world is a thing of the past, believe me, it is not. Women are continually perceived and treated differently because they are women – and not in a good way. I know this. I see it every day. Women entrepreneurs and freelancers still struggle and fight for their place, the credibility and to maintain a good work environment as well as good pay. So I feel for you, I really do. I know you don’t have it easy.
What you state as being the proper perspective is the one I follow – we’re all human, we make mistakes, we learn, grow, mature and improve. We also have to be big enough to admit that we’re not perfect and that someone else is better for the job. That isn’t an easy thing to acknowledge, so good on you for having achieved that maturity. Now go kick some male butt. (Not mine, though.)
@ John – I’d love to be able to say the right thing here. When faced with such questions, most people choose the route of spouting off the politically correct thing to say.
Not known for my ability to do as everyone else does, I’m going to be completely frank. I cannot, in all honesty, give you an answer to that. Having never left Canada more than a few trips to the States, I couldn’t begin to know what the experience of seeing life in a third-world country would feel like, let alone know what I’d feel if I lived there. Sure, I’ve watched television, and yes, it’s sad and makes me feel lucky. But to truly tell you how I’d feel, deep down, to go to such a place? I can’t.
If I were to answer, I’d be giving you what I thought other people wanted to hear. “Oh yes, I’d feel humbled. Oh, I’d feel terrible, I’m so grateful…” No. That’s like someone saying, “I know it hurts” when someone close to you dies – and they’ve never experienced the death of someone close themselves. It’s an impossible question to answer. I could guess, I could try to imagine, but I wouldn’t come close to the truth.
Remember, too, that situations like that are so foreign and far removed from what many people live in their lives that even imagining isn’t coming close to what the actual experience or feelings would be like. Any more than someone who has never left Ecuador could imagine what 7 foot high snowbanks look and feel like.
That’s a good honest answer. I’ve never been there either so I myself cannot answer that question myself. I don’t worry about being politically correct either (unless I’m talking with my grandmother); after all, I’m not a politician
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I have, however, been to Disneyland and think the comment gang ought to plan a trip together one day!
John Hoff’s last blog post..My Marketing Hero Himself – Seth Godin
Great post – I think that a lot of people mistake humility with getting along in the work place. It comes down to that whole balance thing you were talking about – get along, but don’t get walked on.
In my opinion, humility comes off as insincere. People would know that you’re lying if you would say “it wasn’t that hard to write a bestselling novel”.
RLD: Taekwondo Happiness’s last blog post..Invincibility
@ John – Disneyland is the great Canadian dream, don’t you know!
@ RLD – Well, considering how many people glut the internet with content about writing bestselling novels in 5 days if you JUST buy this software and subscribe to this membership and give away your email and about $400… I have *no* issues standing here saying that they’re lying and it’s definitely challenging to write a *good* ebook, let alone a bestselling novel!
@John: I tried to win the 8 ticket package 94.1 was giving away on their Disneyland contest and couldn’t get through. Sorry, guys, I tried.
@Harry – yeah, I never get through for those things.
@James – I really hate those dumb marketing tactics and it seems so obvious it’s all hype, but . . . people still buy! Shame.
I’m also curious as to what you said that exploded a blog? Care to share the topic or is it vaulted? Well, maybe it’s best vaulted, LOL!
John Hoff’s last blog post..My Marketing Hero Himself – Seth Godin
lol – not vaulted. Go click the link for “humbling experiences” up there. I had chosen not to do something because I didn’t want to get yelled at in front of my kid, and posting my experience and thoughts to show others that I’d learned I should’ve gone with my gut feeling found me branded a jerk.
@John: James has exploded blogs on several occasions. I’m going to start calling him Demolition Man. More fun to watch than an implosion of a Vegas casino – unless you’re me and the last thing James said that morning was “I’m not going to be around today, keep an eye on things, would you?”
@James – Oh my goodness! Let me just say I’m typing this with a smile on my face, laughing at those comments. I like the one where the guys says, “That’s just sick!” LOL
I hadn’t realized (or just forgot rather) that was a link in this post. It ended up perfect timing to read that because I just popped some popcorn and got a drink.
While I read the post I was trying to find what was wrong with it. You know, speaking of Disneyland, I recently did the exact same thing you did while on my trip. I won’t get into it because that’s not the topic here, but I too had my 2 year old in the car and his (and my family’s) safety comes first.
@Harry – Careful, Harry. You don’t want to give the Comment King a new name!
John Hoff’s last blog post..My Marketing Hero Himself – Seth Godin
@ John – Did I mention where those commentators came from? That post was picked up for a Christian blog carnival… and those were the blog’s readers. Puts a new light on things
@ Harry – I really don’t plan these things. Really.
See, I hate that. I’m Christian and I found nothing wrong with what you did. Everyone’s different – doesn’t matter what religion you’re into. People are people with their own ideas and thoughts (and boy did I feel sorry for you!).
There was a church here in town I went to once and I was like, oh man – you GOT to be kidding me.
John Hoff’s last blog post..My Marketing Hero Himself – Seth Godin
If memory serves, I loved that humility was one of the “attributes” in (at least) one of the old Ultima roleplaying games on the Commodore 64. One doesn’t normally find that in other D&D type games, e.g. strength, intelligence, wisdom, etc.
Thanks for the post — such a great way to link out, it’s brilliant!
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*whispers to Nez*… White Wolf RPG…
@ John – I agree. Everyone’s different, and religion is a unique, personal thing. Unless it’s in a church, then it’s public. But it’s all good – just as long as people don’t come whacking me with that bible and thumping me on the head.
Great round up of interesting posts on a variety of helpful topics.
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