HALT Your Way to Better Business
I know the importance of keeping my cool and dealing with situations diplomatically. I work with people and clients. I can’t afford to react unthinkingly or poorly to difficult situations. And I do pretty well.
But like anyone, I sometimes react impulsively.
Am I alone in this behavior? Of course not. Everyone has knee-jerk reactions. Each one of you reading right now tosses logic out the window every now and then and lets your emotions take control.
In business, you need to curb this urge. When working with other peers, for employers or with clients, keeping calm is important – and it’s tough. I see way too many snappy, angry comments out there and I’ve received far too many snarky emails.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s a trick I recently learned that I find easy and helpful to stay cool and calm.
HALT Your Way to Zen
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. It’s a mantra used in recovery programs to help people replace bad behaviors with better ones. Usually used as a coping mechanism in addiction recovery, its applications can be tried in many other areas of life as well.
HALT helps you get in touch with what you’re really feeling and why you feel that way. It lets you choose a better action to meet your true need – and that need is often just as simple as food, a rest, some companionship or a break.
When you feel hungry, angry, lonely or tired, you’re more vulnerable to reaching for your fix. Learning to listen to your needs is important. If you pay attention to your inner signals, you can replace your fix with a more appropriate reaction – and you can actually feel better.
What’s Your Fix?
“James. I’m not an addict.”
Oh? Well, you may not be an alcoholic and you may not do drugs, but I guarantee that you do have an addiction and a fix of choice. We all have something that makes us feel better when we’ve been hurt or when we’re angry.
So what’s your fix? Be honest. Do you fire back a heated reply to a client who has insulted you? Do you feel crushed at negative feedback and fall into a slump? Do you let yourself use the excuse of writer’s block?
Maybe you need reassurance often. Maybe you lash out and hurt someone else or vent your frustrations on people you love. They’re all fixes, each of the negative behaviors a drug of choice.
We all have a fix we love – even if we hate it.
Pause for Thought
Irritated with a client? Maybe you’re hungry. Many web workers forget to eat or choose unhealthy snacks that don’t fuel body and brain properly. Small, frequent and healthy snacks boost your mood and give you energy. You won’t be so annoyed and may view the situation in a more positive light.
Touchy and sensitive? Uninspired? You may be tired and need more rest, another common issue with web workers who stay up too late, try to do it all or who are burning out. Go to bed, have a nap or take a long-deserved vacation. Your blog won’t break. Your work won’t dry up. Rest and recharge your batteries.
Feeling lonely? Yeah, I hear you; that’s my killer. It’s easy to feel isolated and need companionship when your work and your social life happen mostly online. When you feel lonely, take a break. Go for a walk, call a friend or even go visit someone to hang out for a while.
Getting angry? There’s a reason you feel that way, and it’s often not the face-value situation. Stop and analyze why you feel so upset. Look deep. Introspect and think about your feelings. What really upset you?
I like HALT. I’ve been using it for a few weeks to overcome some of my less desirable reactions and I find it makes quite a big difference. HALT reminds me that I have to take care of myself properly. I take a break, I have something to eat, I call Harry, or I go have a nap.
I’ve been calmer the past few weeks. Writing comes more easily and flows well, Harry has seen improvements in my behavior and I deal easily with little irritations that crop up.
What do you think? Hack strategy? Worth a try? Let me know.
42 Responses to “HALT Your Way to Better Business”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
Go ahead. Leave a Comment!
-
Affiliate Program
-
James Is Reading…
-
Social Hookups
As Seen In…
Overheard on the Web
MwP is Powered by…
It’s a good point , James, and I think we need to consider the impression we make if we give in to that first impulse. I’m a big fan of cooling off before I speak so I can consider my words. Flying off the handle can ruin relationships, whether they are with friends or clients.
Sharon Hurley Hall’s last blog post..Four Reasons Why Your Writing Is Worth More
Sounds very promising indeed!
I always advocate to my kids, BREATHE! It stops them dead in their tracks when they’re ready to implode.
My favorite technique is to remind myself, everything happens for a reason, what can I take out of this soul-searing agony, and then remove myself from the computer. Sit on your hands! And time heals all angst.
Enjoy, Barbara
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach’s last blog post..Let weirdly-clad HE-wenches help you to….Make money WITH your blog tutorial
@James,
Yep. This happens to me, with family, “day job”, 18 thousand personal projects (and you & I have had the discussion of focusing on one or two, which I’m doing…)
The main one for me is T – Tired. And then it leads right into my fix, which is time wasting on RSS and so forth.
My solution is to unplug literally – to exercise. And if I let that slip (which I have, admittedly, over the last couple of weeks), I notice it immediately. I have less energy, I seem to need more sleep, and I cannot focus as well.
Solution – usually it is to reboot on a weekend (such as this one coming up), to actually follow the daily schedule I wrote for myself that I know works.
I like this, James. HALT is not a hack, I think you’re on to something here.
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..step out of line.
James,
HALT works. When I was coaching at WW (Weight Watchers) The number one thing we had to do was teach people how to get in touch with what was going on emotionally. Food addicts reach for food ( I know, I was one of them) They have to learn to stop and say- am I really hungry or is this thirsty, lonely, mad, tired. frustrated….and deal with the real emotion. HALT was a great solution for that. Also raising two ADHD boys, ( who got it from their mother) it is something we use around here too. Let me tell you honestly, NOBODY wants to be around me when I am sleep-deprived. My family has permission to say “Mom, go take a nap right now. Because if I’m not paying attention I can spin my top right into the ground. HALT helps you keep you on top of it.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..A Lighthouse in the Storm
@ Wendi – Considering how my mind works, being able to stop thinking for a minute is something phenomenal in itself. I’m a rocket scientist when it comes to business, but controlling my reactions in my personal life with people close to me is much more difficult to manage. They’re the safe place to land. They’re supposed to love you no matter what, so it gets easy to drop your guard and go haywire. Heh. I’m sure you can relate.
I tried HALT out on myself for a couple of weeks, testing the waters. Then I told Harry about it, because if anyone needs coping mechanisms to deal with me, it’s gotta be him. He started calling HALTs for me, and I think it does make me stop and think for a minute. You’d have to ask him if he feels it works
@ Brett – Tired gets me too. And my reaction to Tired is Lonely. It’s kind of ironic that one of my “fixes” is one of the triggers.
@ Barbara – I usually don’t have the time to even think that far ahead and calm myself down. Lucky woman.
@ Sharon – That was the thing with this. While I integrated HALT into my personal life, I could immediately see how others could apply this to business, web working and communicating with clients of all types. It has great value, I think.
@James,
Perhaps my fix is related to lonely also – because, when I spend more time “online”, I spend less time interacting with my offline family and friends. Not that all of you out here are not important, mind you – but balance is important, and real, physical human interaction is a need.
Hmm… your post is very thought provoking today. Thanks.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..step out of line.
@James
I think our minds work a lot the same way. Mine is always going a hundred miles a minute and I keep a pad and paper next to me to capture the rapid fire ideas and thoughts that are inturrupting the one thing I am trying to tunnel-vision focus on at the time. God forbid someone inturupt me or the phone ring and break my chain of thought. I can go like that for a long time, but when I stop or run out of steam…..look out. Now I say that…but…I would also like to believe that in the past three years since I have been recovering from a major burn-out episode that I have been managing my brain better. Still- we have what we have- it takes putting systems in place for our loved ones for sure
When I was a teen- when I would get so tired I couldn’t function, I would burst into tears and start wailing that “Nobody loved me” My mother who has the paitence of a firecracker would say “we love you when you’re not making that horrible noise, go to bed and get some sleep!”
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..A Lighthouse in the Storm
My daughter, now six, was going through quite the feisty phase about a year back. It was usually when she was hungry or tired; two conditions that often lead to more unsavory emotions. We taught her that when she was starting to feel edgy, she could put her hand over her heart and feel the beat. It’s worked wonders, but even better, it’s worked for us as well. Now, when I’m in a situation where I start to feel edgy, I put my hand over my heart and feel the beat. It’s instantly calming.
Or you could eat a banana.
HALT does work. Just yesterday I said to James, “Dude, are you tired?” He admitted he was tired and hungry, so that solved that and I felt all smug – which is rare.
@Wendi: I was wondering what happened when one of the checkpoints happened to be a trigger too. I’ve been trying HALT for myself too (little known fact about Harry is he’s had food issues all his life – yes, not common for a man to have or admit to, I know) so distinguishing physical hunger from emotionally triggered hunger is a toughie. “H” almost always gets ruled out right away and it’s usually one of the other three that I’m feeling.
Writer Dad, I love that! I am going to try that with my little dear today. I wonder if a nine year old will go for it? (Bananas are a favorite solution for me, too. Funny!)
James,
I’ve never heard of HALT before, which is odd because I’ve heard of all of the triggers/solutions in my own troubles and through people I’ve been very close with. I like them put together like that. Easy to remember, easy to put to use.
Grownup time-outs are my thing. I am able to step outside myself and see things coming, so I stop and sort myself out (learned it the way Wendi did, learning to treat food more kindly). I breathe and permit myself to feel, but walk away from the situation in which I might “act out.”
“H” is rarely the real issue for me, but A-L-T can all lead to faux hunger, which left unchecked will lead to more A and T… it’s taken years of self-analysis to get myself mainly, mostly, kinda not acting from those icky, semi-conscious places. These days, “L” is the toughest for me to conquer. I feel it in the midst of people sometimes. Hard to explain.
For my little person, who does *not* see her meltdowns coming nor recognize it when she’s in the middle, her name, stated firmly, and STOP, sometimes a few times until she hears it, then we talk out the behavior the same way I would sort myself out.
Nice post.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Naming 101.2: Do Not Name Your Business After Yourself & 7 Other Blunders
Does PMS fit in here somewhere? That often explains a lot for me!
Seriously, though, hungry and tired are my main irritants. And having to go to the bathroom!
The trick for me is realizing this before I say or do something I regret to the ones closest to me. Clients are safe from my nastiness. I always take out things on the people I love most. Weird, but it’s kind of like what James said, they’re safe zones, so it’s easier to let fly with them.
I’m going to be more mindful of this HALT thing. I like it.
steph’s last blog post..Change of Scenery
I believe it. I actually wrote a brief post about this about a week ago, although my 4 included thirsty instead of angry as it was based on our basic needs. My husband was an Outward Bound instructor in years past and they teach this strategy when dealing with trip participants. I think it helps prove, too, that we have more control over the situations we encounter than we think, and perhaps life really isn’t so complicated. We just need to tune into ourselves a bit more.
Stacey’s last blog post..Stop Dipping Your Toes and Jump Right In
HALT is new to me but makes eminent sense. Of course I need a fix too! It could be any of many things that I use to feel different from the way I feel. Just a chewing gum could be the solution but something. Shall seriously give HALT a try.
Nicole Price’s last blog post..Top 10 Celebrity List
HALT– what happens when you’re hungry, angry, lonely AND tired? You hire a masseuse who massages your feet while you sit in a lounge chair with bon bons nearby and you work on breathing your anger away.
I gotta try that sometime. James? Harry? Who wants to volunteer to work at my feet?
Karen Putz / DeafMom’s last blog post..Deaf Mom World Gets a New Look?Makes Alltop
@Writer Dad – brilliant comment, man.
Never heard of HALT. I’ve heard of B. The B stands for beer or booze. HALT seems complicated, because it has a whole four letters in it. I dunno…
Michael Martine’s last blog post..Teaching Sells is Closing the Doors
@ Michael – My B days are done. They were replaced with two other Bs that are a definite party crasher: Babies.
@ Karen – Men with Pens: We draw happy faces on toes…?
@ Nicole – If I chewed gum, I think my jaw muscles would be sore.
@ Stacey – Oh, I’ve heard of that program! Damned cool one, so cheers for that.
@ Steph – My problem is that my brain is busy thinking about something else while my mouth is going. The two don’t tend to work together much
@ Kelly – Couple of things:
Walking away when a particular hot tempered culture teaches you never to walk away is tough to apply. That’s been something I’ve continually had to work on all my life. I do well, though.
Two, recognizing the oncoming signs before explosion is a major, major goal, so if you’ve achieved that, well done.
Three, kids don’t see it coming, correct. And once it’s there, it’s tough. Sometimes I let my toddler run her course of emotions – she’s more able to listen and think after when the emotions are gone.
And lonely in the middle of a crowd? I hear you.
@ Writer Dad – That’s a neat idea. And up with bananas! (Green ones, please.)
@ Wendi – Yeah, I hear you. The way we work, it’s a pressure buildup of stimuli and emotion, and you have to vent somehow or you just can’t function.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..HALT Your Way to Better Business
@Kelly,
You know, you could live on bananas. (Steve Pavlina ate a lot of bananas on his 30-day raw food diet, if I recall correctly.)
@Michael,
B works for me too. And W (for wine, or whiskey). V for vodka. R for rum. G for “gee, I sound like an alcoholic!”
But I’m not, really. Just ask Friar.
@James,
I tried dropping the B when we added 3 more B’s to the B we already had. I have since found that the odd B (or W, V, or R) helps me to unwind after a day at work and an evening with the 4 B’s.
And at work, it’s C (for coffee).
Brett Legree’s last blog post..step out of line.
@ Brett – I have exactly one glass that I sip at between 5 and 6 and that’s my alloted B of the day. Or W, rather. This is a do-not-skip requirement for unwinding, as far as I’m concerned.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..HALT Your Way to Better Business
Putting banana in blender right now…forgot to eat breakfast! Yikes. Throwing in some blueberries too.
I have to think about this. I do the heartbeat thing too. And the breathing. It is very important that breathing thing.
Physical stuff is good too, like Brett said, and the one Brett didn’t say…but we do NOT need to go there.
I think we just need to take care of our whole person. Everything goes better when we do.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Clean up On Aisle 3
@Janice – I thought about that one too… great minds are in the gutter
no as you say, we have to care for the whole person, and (that) is a part of the whole person.
Maslow and all that stuff…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..step out of line.
Yes, exactly. Great minds. LOL I was actually going to mention Maslow. But hadn’t had my smoothie yet.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Clean up On Aisle 3
“Halt” sounds like a good way to make yourself aware, to get off auto pilot. Auto pilot is the worst mental state one can be in. Awareness allows one to confront inappropriate or unhealthy behavior. Awareness is key.
And, if someone sends a mean e-mail or the like… Always best to just ignore it. Simply because no positive result will happen by shooting back an equally mean e-mail. The book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie covers this subject in a very persuasive manner. This is a must read book. If one hasn’t read it, they are at a disadvantage. The wisdom is priceless.
Bamboo Forest’s last blog post..The 7 Stages of Procrastination
Hi James – I’d been reading about HALT and I couldn’t grasp how I could use it. But when I think back on how I’ve allowed the odd really irritating customer to piss me off and totally ruin my day, I can see the benefits in this.
I’m glad you mentioned you’re using this though. I need a couple of really small jobs done on my blog and I hate asking people to do small jobs. One has needed doing for ages but I was too stubborn to ask. I bet Harry can probably guess what it is. I’ll email you.
Cath Lawson’s last blog post..What Is A Blog And Will It Feed You Or Eat You?
HALT is a good one. Telling me to breathe, on the other hand, has never worked because I know darn well how to breath like a yogi on a mountaintop and if I’m not breathing like one then there must be a damn good reason for it.
HALT, on the other hand, makes you take a moment just to remember what the heck it stands for. Then it’s like a checklist, each with its own quick fix. Very cool.
T has always been my downfall. I used to work two high-pressure journalism jobs at the same time, 60+ hours a week for several years without many breaks. I was a bit of a monster on occasion, to put it politely. Something this simple would have gone a long way back then. I’ll be using it now, that’s for sure.
Bill K.’s last blog post..Does the Internet broaden our minds or narrow our focus?
@ Janice/Brett – Hoy! Get a ROOM! And to bring Maslow into that? Sheesh!
@ Bamboo – Always best to ignore it, yes. But for many people, it’s easier said than done. HALT can help change that crappy email into something not so bad at all. (To be dealt with later after a cooling period, of course.)
@ Cath – What I like about it is that it can be used for the smallest things and the mildest irritations. It gets me to eat healthier, take more frequent breaks and be more sociable. Can’t complain about that!
@ Bill – I’m so not into zen-stuff. Just breathe? Relax? Damn. When something’s going all wonky in your head, it’s tough to think about rising above to be all peaceable (no offense to those who can do this; I secretly admire you). A fast fix to a clear problem is the best way for me.
And ugh, that sounds like a bad time of your life. But we do what we have to.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..HALT Your Way to Better Business
Interesting concept. Yeah I’m with you and Michael on the beer. Problem is, I can’t always go to that for a fix, tis a little different than a nap. I’ll try this, though.
My big problem, James, is stress lately. I’m usually the most laid back guy you might ever meet . . . I’m originally from a beach city, ya know!
But with the poor economy, struggling to get a new business off the ground, and 2 little ones running around doing everything you know they do, uh . . . you get my drift.
Is there a HALT for stress?
John Hoff – eVentureBiz’s last blog post..Choosing The Best Kind Of Affiliate Marketing For Your Website
@ John – I wish. I hear you. But to be honest, even stress can be alleviated by easing the basic need. No, the stress won’t go away – but how you are able to handle it at that moment based on how you feel might help change how you approach the situation, cope with it or deal with others, and that can help.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..HALT Your Way to Better Business
@James,
Yeah, we’d better be careful we don’t burn the place down (and I suppose Maslow wouldn’t be welcome in the room, he wasn’t a very good looking dude…)
Brett Legree’s last blog post..step out of line.
Yeah, the basic need. Never to be cured!
John Hoff – eVentureBiz’s last blog post..Choosing The Best Kind Of Affiliate Marketing For Your Website
@ James – Actually, other than the long work hours and lack of true vacation time, I was having a blast for the most part. I wouldn’t want to do it again but it had its advantages.
Bill K.’s last blog post..Does the Internet broaden our minds or narrow our focus?
This is really good. I’ve been way on autopilot lately, esp. as I’m tired so much of the time. I’m going to try this.
Another good one for when you’re A (I’m A a lot) is a Tony Robbins trick I got from his TED speech. (Surprisingly worth watching, esp. if you think he’s a weirdo, which I sort of do.) Focus, Meaning, Action. What are you focusing on/obsessing over, what meaning are you attaching to that, and how is that driving your action. The TED speech goes into some details & examples. I’ve been relying on that really heavily lately, and it does help a lot.
Sonia Simone’s last blog post..The Complete Flake’s Guide to Getting Things Done
Oooh, that IS a good one. I’m going to try that. It’ll become a HALTFMA.
Hey, There is actually a page in one of my notebooks dedicated to Maslow, a section even.
I am merely saying, trying to say nicely…it’s not a bad fix for cranky. Okay, there. I am not alone here I am sure. And it is right there on the pyramid with Hungry Angry Lonely and Tired. Sheesh yourself. And that is all I am saying.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Unplugged, Pencils and Poetry
Sonia,
That TED speech is one of my very favorites. He’s not usually my cup of tea but he shares some really powerful ideas there. And he’s surprisingly funny.
Janice,
You are not alone. I second your sheeshing.
Later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Naming 101.3: The Hall of Fame, the Hall of Shame, and How’d They Manage With That?
Janice, I am right there with ya.
(Hm, does that make it HALTH?)
Kelly, was that moment with Al Gore wild, or what? Amazing talk.
Sonia Simone’s last blog post..The Complete Flake’s Guide to Getting Things Done
(James, go find the video if you haven’t already. Just google it, it pops right up. Really good stuff.)
Sonia Simone’s last blog post..The Complete Flake’s Guide to Getting Things Done
Sonia,
Best. Ever.
One of the few talks I’ve passed on to absolutely everyone.
Kelly’s last blog post..Naming 101.3: The Hall of Fame, the Hall of Shame, and How’d They Manage With That?
Love that moment with AG. Love the the TED talk. Yes, Sonia HALTH.
))
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Unplugged, Pencils and Poetry
Incorrigibles…
Potato chips. That’s my fix for everything. I try reaching for carrots instead. They give me the same crunch and are much healthier.
As for HALT, I’ll have to practice that not just in business but in all parts of my life. As a reserved British-Canadian living in Spain, I get totally overwhelmed by the much more “vibrant” culture sometimes. HALTing before reacting will really help.
Thanks James!
Alex Fayle’s last blog post..Vacation Notice
I never thought about feeling crushed at negative feedback and falling into a slump as a “fix,” but you make a lot of sense. It is a defense mechanism, isn’t it? And an excuse for inaction. You’ve really got me thinking.
Cindy Dashnaw’s last blog post..Don’t say you love me if you don’t mean it