How to Bribe Yourself to Do Nasty Things
If you’re a freelancer, you know how hard it is to keep yourself on task. If you work under someone else’s employ, you know how hard it is for your boss to keep you on task.
None of us wants to do the work in front of us, no matter how important it is to the overall scheme of things (like earning a paycheck).
So what’s to be done? I have thought about this question long and hard. I can only come up with one solution:
Bribery
Let’s face it; we’re all shady characters. If you asked any one of us to do something incredibly unpleasant (like cleaning a stopped-up toilet), we would probably think of a million ways we could avoid doing that task.
If, however, you offered us a million dollars to perform said unpleasant task, we’d be falling all over ourselves to do it. We’d punch other people in the face to make sure they didn’t get that million bucks before we did.
We are vicious and money-grubbing and I love us.
Bribery at Work
Now, some among us (JAMES, I’m looking at you) actually consider work-related tasks to be bribery enough.
For example, marketing is an unpleasant task. Almost no one I know actually enjoys the process of sending out cold emails. The thrill of winning the client just isn’t enough for us.
For James, winning the client is like winning a million bucks. He will punch other copywriters in the face to get that client, and when he gets the client, he crows about it for weeks. The dude has issues.
The point is that for some people, their bribe is written right into the fabric of the task itself. For James, the client is the bribe. The marketing is the unpleasant task written right into the fabric of the task and must be performed to achieve the goal.
And so, James gladly does the unpleasant task to win his bribe.
Bribery for the Rest of Us
For me and for many other people I know, the client really ought to be bribe enough. After all, the client pays us money for services performed. We should be all over that bribe.
Unfortunately, the bribe is too far removed from the action. For us, it is much like saying if you clean your toilet every day, you earn ten bucks for each cleaning. Some days you might do it. Other days, you decide the ten bucks wasn’t worth it.
So what do you do? You need to up the bribe. Come up with something far more immediately appealing, and bribe the heck out of yourself.
Awesome bribes I have used for myself:
• Finish ebook = Get to buy awesome new boots
• Complete day’s quota of press releases = Breakfast with friend at Lucile’s Creole palace of deliciousness
• Make cold calls = One jelly bean for every cold call
• Finish blog post – Go to yoga with my awesome German friend
Even little bribes work. Tell yourself you can have something only if you finish the task first. If you don’t finish the task, you don’t get the bribe. Also, someone will come to your house and whack you.
Well, okay, no. No, they won’t. But your business might fail. And that would suck just as much as getting whacked by a stranger.
What’s your favorite bribe?
30 Responses to “How to Bribe Yourself to Do Nasty Things”
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One jelly bean per call is cool!
Yes, sometimes we all need motivation.
Dr Wright´s last blog ..Seven PR Lies Business Owners Tell Themselves
Poor James! {Don’t worry James, I don’t believe the bad rap you are getting}
In re: to post – I agree, but I choose not to call it self-bribery and rather self-incentives.
Heather Villa, CMA, MBA, MSM´s last blog ..More tips on using universities and colleges to help your business
My favorite bribe to myself is giving myself permission to take a nap with my mooses and Wolfy’s Big Brother before my usual bed-time. Alas, the kids normally see this…and all pile on top of me as well.
I’m looking for another useful bribe….
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog ..Skyrocket Your List – Add a FREE Gentle WordPress Plugin Exit Popin
I was actually talking about this awhile back. Never thought about it as a bribe, but that is kind of what it is. It makes you work hard because you have something to work for. I’m going to come up a with a few “bribes” for myself….
Chris Anderson´s last blog ..Happy Labor Day! Are You Using It?
Short term bribe: A day out with friends in the middle of the week. What we do varies. From picnics, shopping trips, to meeting up in cafes mixing our work with some (okay, a lot of) gossip.
The weekly outing doesn’t happen unless I do a much hated task that I would otherwise have not done.
Long term bribe: A Mac. If I don’t feel like doing a hated task, I go to different tech sites to check out the different Macs there are. Never fails to get me in action.
Samar´s last blog ..Freelancing fun: Earning in different currencies
I um….Ok, I have to be honest, I am hardwired like James. I just want the clients and also…I just like marketing, It’s fun, once I start I can’t stop, each new client is like getting a present.
Now…housecleaning, laundry…I need bribes like…if I get so much done I can write on ER or go read a book.
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog ..Amazing Dirty Dishes
Poor James indeed! So misunderstood… sniff sniff…
My new self-bribe for the other stuff I don’t like doing has become a bi-monthly weekend trip. (Samar, you’ll be all proud of me!) I’ve written out a short list of places within 5 hours that I can drive to, stay at and explore for a weekend every two months.
The bonus is I get to recharge my batteries while doing so and come back full of energy to punch those other writ-… Uh, I mean, to do an excellent job for my clients.
I have to admit, your title scared me just a little bit.
I wondered what sort of nasty things Taylor wanted me to bribe myself to do. Then, I read the post a breathed a huge sigh of relief. Whew! She’s just talking about ordinary, routine unpleasantness.
Great post – I use bribes (uh, incentives. . .) to motivate myself all the time.
Laura Spencer´s last blog ..Do You Have a Can-Do or a Can’t-Do Attitude?
Gotta be honest, if I don’t like what I’m doing, no bribe will get me to do it well. Yes, a jelly bean will get me to make that cold call, but I’m going to suck at it. Same with any task I detest. The bribe is enough to get me to do it, but to do it well I need to actually enjoy the task.
So, instead of bribing myself, I prefer to find ways to make the task fun. If I have to cold call someone, I count how many times I can use the person’s name in the same conversation and try to beat my score (my record’s 27). If I have to do laundry, I time how long it takes me to run from the apartment to laundry room with a full hamper (caution could be dangerous). If I have to fill out paperwork, I play at changing my handwriting. Juvenile? Yes. Effective? Yep.
But mostly, I just avoid all tasks I don’t like to do and hope someone else will do them (it’s worked for me thus far).
Adam Di Stefano´s last blog ..Ego-Marketing Is Killing Your Business, So Stop It
James, those bi-monthly weekend trip sounds like a good bribe. But only the boss can do that, so that’s no good to me. But to punch the bo- err, to get recognition from the boss is good enough a bribe for me.
You’re right, I’m so proud of you James! Before long you’ll have your own success story at the Freelancer Vacation Clinic
To other freelancers, bi-monthly weekend trips are an excellent way to recharge. You won’t feel too guilty about leaving work and delegating two days worth of work is easier than a couple of weeks.
Forget me, I’m a chronic vacationer who’s leaning towards location independence with every holiday. James is the perfect example. Follow his lead! If he can do it, then so can you.
Samar´s last blog ..Freelancing fun: Earning in different currencies
Getting to curl up with a book without guilt!
–Deb´s last blog ..Writing Makes Everything Possible
Free time! That’s my favourite of all bribes. Time to cruise around aimlessly online, time to make myself another espresso and drink it on my porch in the morning sun… I could go on forever (and sometimes do). So how I structure the bribe is by using the 50-minute focus technique… work for 50 minutes, take a 10-minute break. Actually, I rejigged these numbers recently… work for 45 mins and take a 15 min break and guess what… I like it much better!
Great post.
Pete Savage´s last blog ..Speed Reading… I Ain’t Feelin’ It
Tei,
Self-bribes are my favorite enticement!
Mine include: Glass of champagne (I don’t need anything more), cookies (yes I am that easy thankyouverymuch), trip to the art museum, and the perennial favorite, early-to-bed.
Even surfing my fave blogs can work as an inducement to get things done early.
Like tonight.
Yep.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog ..Inspiration Points: The Smart Ones Don’t Wait for Leftovers
I use reading: Once I get something done, I get to read for fun. Back when I didn’t write blog posts, I would use blog posting as a reward. That doesn’t work anymore!
Dave Doolin´s last blog ..What’s The Difference Between WordPress Posts And Pages?
I often bribe myself with weekend plans. Typically, I try to save at least one full day ‘unplugged’ a weekend. If I have been a good girl and met all my deadlines, I get to have it… so, planning something really awesome is key. Like, going to a hops festival, or a live music event, or hiking… etc.
Sometimes, if it’s about a particularly yucky task, gelato.
Rachel Fachner´s last blog ..writing: prompt no.3
One caveat would be NOT to bribe yourself with food. Otherwise you run the risk of developing poor eating habits. We don’t need another reason to eat food, especially junk food, just for completing tasks. Anything else is pretty much okay, just NOT food.
Gordie Rogers´s last blog ..Be A Lifestyle Design Super Freak: Part 3- Write Personal Action Plans.
Aw, Gordie, then I’d have to take out the champagne and cookies.
How about chocolate? Can we make an exception if it’s really good chocolate, only used in case of big-project emergencies?
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog ..Inspiration Points: The Smart Ones Don’t Wait for Leftovers
Chocolate, definitely chocolate.
Lexi Rodrigo´s last blog ..A Freelancer’s Heart
Clever idea, I’ve tried it… but I’ve found that it’s kinda hard to sustain. Eventually you’ll get to a point where doing work just to do it becomes harder. If you can make it fun somehow though, that can last forever. Though, that is much easier said than done.
I liked your post, but I have to admit I found the face-punching metaphor more intriguing. You should do Writer Fight Club and YouTube that stuff. Of course I’m more into the watching than participating, but think of the ad revenue.
Angela West´s last blog ..Female, 35, Non-Smoker.
@ Angela – Oooh. I’d have to get a cool name. And a sponsorship! (Hey. I can’t pay for my own expenses.) Training, a limo, groupies… I can see it. Mmhm.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens´s last blog ..How to Bribe Yourself to Do Nasty Things
I am considering offering a service where, you give us a list of your tasks for the day, and if you don’t get them all completed, someone WILL come to your house and whack you.
You will have a choice of whacking implements, depending on your price plan.
Anyone interested in such a service? …
Paul Hancox, copySnips´s last blog ..How To Earn $0.10 A Word For Your Freelance Writing
@ Paul – Wow. You could probably have a good number of clients with that service. Might not be the target market you’re looking for, though… *cough*
I’m all about self-bribery. My typical motivation is to get stuff done a little FASTER so that I’ll have time to do something I really enjoy – like reading a little bit of a novel (at the moment, anything by Neil Gaiman), going for a walk, or even just cruising aimlessly around the Social web leaving comments about how I have to bribe myself to get my work done.
(Oh – and if you’re a client of mine, YOUR work needs no bribery – I LOVE everything I do for you … all the time.)
Jamie Lee Wallace´s last blog ..Savvy Week in Review – September 11
Two weeks ago I finished the first draft of a novel and so rewarded myself with a week off from writing, but then wrote anyway (likely because I didn’t “have to”).
For me bribes don’t work because I know they are self-imposed and therefore meaningless. The only thing that works for me is making the conscious choice to do it knowing what my long term goals are and recognizing that the unpleasant task is the ony way to get to the goal.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog ..No, I Won’t Talk to You: Why Someday Syndrome Offers Email-Based Coaching
@ Alex – Isn’t your long term goal a bribe, despite it being farther in the future? And thus, still self-imposed?
“I want to spend a month in Taddoussac next summer. Guess I’d better sit down and finish this XYZ that’s going to help me get there…”
Sounds like a bribe to me. Just a more grandiose one, like you and I prefer
@ Jamie – I had to grin at your message to clients. Too funny. “Clients! I love you!” Agreed.