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How to Confuse the Hell Out of Your Readers
Using analogies can really get your point across – faster, easier and better than if you droned on like some textbook monologue. The medical profession uses analogies often to explain complex concepts to worried patients, bringing biology down to a human level, if you will.
As technology grows and new concepts arise, writers need to use analogies often, too. Have you ever tried to explain the blogosphere to someone who has never been on the Internet? What about explaining the blogging community mindset? It’s like nothing the virtual world has ever seen.
Analogies are extremely useful – and if you screw them up, you’ll only confuse people more. Take a look:
The Never-Ending Analogy
Imagine a doctor explaining a heart condition that involves red cells carrying oxygen and a blockage in a vein. You might need to have a better picture of what’s happening in your body to understand the gravity of the situation.
So he explains:
“Well, your heart is like a pump. It squeezes blood out like a big fist. The blood is like a river coursing around your body, and floating in the blood are these red cells. They’re like barges carrying oxygen around back and forth.
And then these rivers, I mean, this blood… um, it’s in your veins, and those are like a network of pipes. I know, pipes don’t go with rivers, but bear with me…so the pipes have a really big rock sitting in the middle that the river- Uh, I mean the blood can’t go around.
Only it’s not a rock, it’s a blockage of fat. Not fat like McDonalds but a deposit… kind of like a deposit of ore in a mine. But we’re not talking about mines, we’re talking about…”
Say what? Personally? I’d be looking for another doctor or writing my eulogy by this point.
When you use an analogy, choose one. Only one. If you truly, desperately must use a second analogy, then use it in a minor way that only enhances the first analogy. Don’t just keep adding concepts into the mix.
The Nonsensical Analogy
“So, writing is like a banana. You… uh… well, you have the peel, and that’s nice… and once you strip that off you can really get down to the fruit.” Mm-hm. I see. Sort of.
Let’s try again. “Writing is like a can of Coke! It’s not brown, but it’s bubbly and leaves a delicious taste… Or… I mean…” Right.
Analogies should never draw connections between unrelated concepts. Choosing two concepts that have nothing to do with each other – at all, ever, and in any way – is a great way to confuse your readers.
Analogies bridge similarities between seemingly different concepts by drawing on what is closely related. Sex is like writing. Blogging is like thoroughbred racing. Horses, writing, blogging and sex have nothing at all to do with each other… Or so it may appear.
A great deal of similarities exist between these analogies. Sex is personal, intimate and requires plenty of practice to get it right. So does writing. Horse racing is extremely fast, highly competitive and involves lots of jostling and tricks to cross the finish line. Blogging can be like that.
If you want to use an analogy, choose concepts that seem unrelated but that have closely related concepts tying them all together. If you’re stretching to find similarities or need to explain them in detail, you’ve chosen the wrong analogy.
The Analogy That Didn’t Have to Be
People love a good analogy, and sometimes too much of a good thing isn’t a good thing at all. When readers already understand the concept and they don’t need further explanation, there’s no point in adding redundancy by banging away at what readers already grasped.
An analogy tossed into an explanation that is simple only increases the information a person has to take in. It can even create confusion instead of eliminating it. Also avoid analogies when the audience is already well informed. They’ve done the research. They know it. Cut the fluff. This isn’t remedial high school.
Use analogies when the concept is hard to grasp or when the concept is unfamiliar. Analogies take time to set up, so don’t waste your breath. Choose good analogies that bridge the information gap. Keep the analogy short, simple and relevant, too.
Because as physician Terry Ruhl once said, “An analogy is like a car. If you take it too far, it breaks down.”
Now that you know the don’ts of analogies, stay tuned. Monday’s post will cover the right ways to write analogies so you can link concepts and build bridges for better understanding.
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James,
Blog community is like one thing. It’s like university dorm life, and that’s how I try to explain it to people. Late night talks, philosophy and intense learning, striving and cheering and booing, corniness and intimacy, people come in, people drop out, fast friends you don’t really know. All that’s missing is sex and drugs. (Oh, maybe that was just my dorm.)
This is a great post. I love how you broke it down to such small elements and really examined each bit. Not using one when you don’t need it is a very good point.
My favorite is that quotation at the end. Knowing when you’re taking it too far is such a tricky business.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Free Slippery Advice, Today Only
@ Kelly – What if people don’t know what dorm life is? You’ve selected an analogy of something that only a certain specific person would know. Can you assume that out of an auditorium of people, all have gone to university?
I’ve never experienced one, so not only would you have to explain blogging community, but you would have to explain dorm life as well.
James,
The analogy has worked for me pretty well with diverse listeners.
I was going to say that most folks can empathize, put themselves in the situation, a lot easier than they can imagine the “blogging community” without the analogy. People who haven’t been probably get a mixed idea from Animal House and Harry Potter (not uni, but you know), yet how far off is that?
Not very.
But instead, how about if I just say that I won’t explain it to an auditorium. I’ll hire you to write me a better analogy. ‘Cuz I love your writing.
Until later,
Kelly
P.S. I don’t do a lot of thoroughbred racing, but I was there with you on that one. Not sure you have to have experienced something if its precepts are familiar enough.
Kelly’s last blog post..Free Slippery Advice, Today Only
James and Kelly,
Never been to University -well…a dorm anyway…but totally got that analogy and I think that Kelly’s point is valid in that if it’s been described over and over enough in a mainstream way that you could get away with it. But James you bring up an excellent point in general. You really need to know your audience. Certain analagies are only going to work if your audience *gets it*
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..The Addiction of Conforming
I’m embarrassed for all wordsmiths that it took a physician to analogize an analogy. But it’s a good point he made. My family used to drag me kicking and screaming to church every Sunday as a kid. In retrospect it was probably the way preachers manage to utterly abuse the use of analogies in sermons that had me kicking and screaming
Joel Falconer’s last blog post..Advertising on Your Blog: Choosing Revenue Sources
Ha! James beat me to pointing out that you should avoid analogies that are culturally bound unless you’re confident that your readers share that culture.
Joshua Clanton’s last blog post..7 Pieces of Software I Can’t Live Without
I love it when someone brings together seemingly unrelated things and makes it work. It’s kind of like a joke with a great punch line.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Artist As Personal Trainer
I think Kellie’s analogy is a good one too. Coming from university life in the UK, my experience of ‘dorm life’ was probably very different from what it would have been in the US, but all those films and TV series have allowed me (and others who did not go to university) to completely understand the analogy.
However, you have a valid point James in that we have to know our audience. My mother would understand the ‘dorm’ connotation, but I doubt if my granny would.
On that note, I would also question the analogy of blogging as horse racing for many readers. There are thousands of bloggers who still use their blogs for their private thoughts (so more like sex I suppose) and post when they feel like it. There is no race for them. I would see their blogs more as unlocked cases – they do not mind the world being able to access their thoughts, but they do not put them directly on display.
So yes, it’s all about knowing your readers for the analogy to work…
zania’s last blog post..Can Freelance Writers Blog Effectively?
Analogies are tricky. I’m sure that I’ve gotten it wrong a time or two.
You’ve done a good job of illustrating some of the problems that can happen when you use an analogy to make your point.
(Although something must be really wrong with me – I actually understood the doctor’s explanation of the blockage. . .)
Another point to consider is the background of your readers. You point that out nicely in your response to Kelly.
I, for one, would never use Kelly’s illustration that the blogging community is like college dorm life with someone who didn’t go to college. I have a close friend who doesn’t have a college background and her perception of what college is like and mine are totally different.
This post is bound to become a classic that people will refer to over and over again.
Laura Spencer’s last blog post..Business Blogging Tip Number 10: Promote Your Blog’s URL
Analogies are one of the best ways to drive home a point. Plain language can’t always underscore a point as well as a good analogy.
Bamboo Forest’s last blog post..How to Squash Negativity with Your Bare Hands
I think that sometimes you can use analogies even if you’re talking to people that already understand the concept at hand, because it can help to highlight a different way to look at something that is already familiar (or a different application of a familiar concept).
Marelisa’s last blog post..The Elasticity of Time (Part 2)
I’m reminded of the Monty Python where Oscar Wilde and a few other British authors are sucking up to the king by making up similes and metaphors, but they start to go awry. Towards the end, one author compares the king to bats piss (“like a shaft of gold in the night”) and then another compares the king to the clap (I forget how that goes but I think it almost got the author thrown in the dungeon!)
I’ve used analogies effectively in the workplace before, but I never ever found a way to use the “bats piss” one.
Mark Dykeman’s last blog post..Horrible scam ensnaring the world’s youth!
Not having prior experience with a subject can make things downright confusing, I agree. But every now and then, you get a situation where someone learns from an analogy in reverse.
For instance, I’m… well, to call me pop-culture-inept would probably be the most polite way of explaining it. My friends pretty much gave up on asking me if I’d seen a given movie; the answer was almost invariably no. But they’d persist in comparing things to those movies anyway, since they were usually talking to a group who did get it; I ended up learning more about the movies they were talking about from what they were trying to compare to them than I would’ve if I’d seen the movie but hadn’t been familiar with the concept.
Ravyn’s last blog post..An Ode to Player Characters
@Mark- ROFLOL !!! I had forgotten that one. may have to go look for it…
)))
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Artist As Personal Trainer
I guess everyone’s different, but for me, blogging is nothing like sex
I see where you were going, though.
You’re right, James. Nothing’s worse than reading an article that goes off on an analogy tangent that has somehow gotten lost.
Simple, stupid, a paragraph or two.
John Hoff – eVentureBiz’s last blog post..What You Should Know Before Collecting Information From Children
@ John – YOU DIDN’T READ THE LINK! Writing is *everything* like sex.
Sheesh. What kind of community is this?
LOL – still not the same
hehehe
John Hoff – eVentureBiz’s last blog post..What You Should Know Before Collecting Information From Children
John—Hahahahaha. Thanks for that.
I read that article way back when. It’s a fine article, and it was definitely a good use of analogy. James was in excellent form that day.
Kelly’s last blog post..Free Slippery Advice, Today Only
@ John – Dude. You aren’t having the right kind of sex. Or you’re not writing the right way. S’gotta be one of them…
@ Kelly – James usually is. And dammit, he’s usually right. That’s why I gotta give him a hard time every now and then.
@ James – Sorry for the confusion. I’m just wondering how the swing hanging from the ceiling fits in with writing? hehe
John Hoff – eVentureBiz’s last blog post..What You Should Know Before Collecting Information From Children
John,
I would have said it earlier, but James doesn’t like the goofy stuff with his a.m. coffee. I mostly sometimes try to remember that, kinda. Plus, Harry’s out there. I hate to be silly before he’s awake.
*sigh* I’m a little rusty on some of the particulars but I am sure John’s right. There was a swing involved.
Later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Free Slippery Advice, Today Only
Oooh… *that’s* what these bolts were for…
You know you have a really good analogy when you can make it your headline. For example: Twitter is Like Sex.
Other times, the analogy I thought was going to be the centerpiece of a post just got in the way and I had to kill that particular “darling.” Tough, but necessary.
Michael Martine | Remarkablogger’s last blog post..Beginner SEO for Anyone
Another point to mention is repetition.
When using an analogy to explain or illustrate a concept, repeating a single image at the beginning and end of a piece can be extremely effective in creating a lasting memory. Of course, this can be good or bad depending on the quality of your analogy.
Great mini-series, James!
Jamie Grove – How Not To Write’s last blog post..Writers Behaving Badly: An American Scoundrel’s Success
So, writing analogies is a lot like riding a sub marine in an ocean full of water that is as cold as the artic tips of a weathered planet covered in nothing but frost who blows cold air all day working like a railroad employee from the 40’s?
J Tyler’s last blog post..Musing About Nothing: Assasination
I had a college professor who went on for a full hour about how poetry is like sh1t. By the end of class, we all wanted to kill ourselves. Or him. Or both.
Geek’s Dream Girl’s last blog post..Random PHP question?
Kelly,
I’m coming to this article rather late, but I think it has a rather important point. I recently taught English to students of varying grades, and in all my classes I stressed that the point of an analogy is to make your main point easier to understand. If your analogy creates confusion or is more complicated than your original point, it has to go.
Many writers instinctively know that an analogy can be a strong way to express an idea, but confuse this with thinking that analogies are an inherent good, rather than a means to an end.
David Dittell´s last blog post…The Rule of 3