Losing Your Sense of Self Because of Your Business

Our post on the work-work balance received resounding response. It’s clear many people feel the pain of juggling a thousand tasks and making it all work in equal proportions. One reader wrote me personally and said, “I can hardly stand these posts.”

My response? “Why don’t you really tell us what you think?”

She did. And in one of our rare guest post acceptances, we’d like to share Lisa’s thoughts with you.

James clearly hit a nerve last week with his post on balancing work and work. Participating in the landscape of raucous comments (60-something and counting), I nearly jumped out of my chair when I read one reader’s comment:

“I am my business.”

This comment made me realize that I work as an expert in a field that doesn’t exist. You see, there’s no such thing as work-life balance. There’s no such thing as work-work balance. Everything in our lives is in constant movement and continuous flow.

Let’s just say that if you’re in balance, you’re dead.

Beth’s Story

Beth, my business partner at Craving Balance, used to work in visual communications and branding for several very high profile companies.

While she succeeded wildly in her career, Beth’s friends and family would ask questions like, “Where have your been?” or “How come you’re so tired?” or “Why are you so thin?” and “Why are you so fat?”

Beth’s answer? “I am my business.”

One day, Beth went to work – and she was fired. She’d been voted off the island, sent adrift. She realized at that point that she didn’t have a life vest.

Beth had been so outwardly directed and her sense of self so co-opted by a career full of accolades and praise that she didn’t know who she was or what she would do next. She hadn’t integrated all the parts of her life because she’d never seen them as a complete whole.

She’d been working all her life and never once really asked herself, “Who am I?” She didn’t know. She’d been her business for so long and so completely that she’d forgotten who she was.

Craving Balance

A Google search on the keyword “work-life balance returns 24 gazillion entries (on average). Underlying our craving for balance runs desperation for fulfillment, for our lives to mean something.

In that context, true balance (and resulting productivity) is an inside job.

We have to be willing to ask, “What is happiness? What is fulfillment?” We have to be courageous enough to hold ourselves accountable for integrating the answers to those questions into our everyday lives and making powerful choices as a result.

In business, a mission statement is a timeless statement of purpose that acts as a truing mechanism to keep your business in balance. It works in concert with all the elements of your business plan, pointing to what you value and what’s important to you.

When you know who you are and whom you serve, your choices become apparent, consistent, and (mostly) comfortable.

Declaring Yourself

My business partner and I built an area our work around helping people write mission statements—or declarations—in four life areas: Life’s work, financial development, personal wellbeing and relationships.

Without declarations, people tend to experience their lives as a series of actions directed by a never-ending to-do list. With declarations, people develop a new kind of truing mechanism or self-correction process that helps them continuously align their choices with their deepest values.

Remember this? “I am my business.”

If you are your business, what does that mean in terms of life-work integration? How do you gain perspective or recognize when it’s time to self-correct? What happens when you sell your business or retire or are laid off or even fired?

Who are you then?

With all due respect, it’s your whole life, baby, and you’re stewarding it all. Underneath all of our work-life needs and wants and seemingly competing interests lies the beautiful stewardship of choice— the foundation for generating the experience of integration or the sensation of flow.

This is where we all routinely fall off the wagon. We think it has to be more complex than it really is.

But think of this: If relationships, work, financial development and personal wellbeing are the forks that flow into the river of your life, would a rain storm on the banks of one fork cause a flood in the river?

Even more, what if we welcomed the rain and dealt with the flood? It may just help remind us who we are and where our priorities lie.

Lisa Gates and Beth Gordon at Craving Balance offer MWP readers a special invitation:

Register for our free group teleclass intro on goal setting for the new year, and get our Craving Balance Workbook for free.

Free intros are scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday this week. (Don’t worry guys, even though our niche is built around women, if you’re an MWP loyalist, you’re invited!)

Post by James Chartrand

James Chartrand is an expert copywriter and the owner of Men with Pens and Damn Fine Words, the game-changing writing course for business owners. She loves the color blue, her kids, Nike sneakers and ice skating.

Join the Discussion. Click Here to Leave a Comment.

  1. I’m a little confused as to who wrote what above, but I have always believed and preached that choice is indeed the whole point.

    I don’t think you necessarily have to write it (though I know that does help many people) but you sure have to KNOW what your life choices are. It has been a never ending surprise to me that so many people don’t have any real clue what their goals are, never mind the choices that would steer them toward that goal.

    Beth’s (I think!) use of “self-correct” should be blindingly obvious but again: if you have no idea where you are trying to get to, you can’t very well correct anything that isn’t getting you there.

    She’s right again about complexity: this stuff shouldn’t be hard. You move toward greater happiness and work to stay there when you arrive. It’s not rocket science.

    Apropos of “Don’t worry guys”: I play poker weekly with a group that is about half women. There’s another group that is “men only”. Outside of our games, one of the “men only” group approached me and asked “How can you stand playing with those women?”.

    I looked at him a bit and finally said “I LIKE women. Don’t you?”

    That left him speechless :-)

    Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…Why defrag Windows XP Desktops? by Anthony Lawrence

  2. Lisa,

    I know so many people who feel like Beth did, who think they wouldn’t be whole without their job structure around them.

    I’m the funky one who (usually) doesn’t have a problem with balance. Everything flows together. I suppose I could say I am my business, but I could just as easily say I am my family, or I am my hobbies. I am me. Comes from a lifetime of stopping to check, though. Reading, absorbing new ideas, and yes, definitely writing things down.

    Good reminder for those who haven’t stopped to consider, or who just never stop. I enjoyed it.

    Regards,

    Kelly

    Kelly´s last blog post…Ambition vs. Stability: Which Would You Choose?

  3. Graham Strong says:

    Remember back to physics class (further away for some of us than others, no doubt) when you studied light? Is it a wave? Is it a particle? The answer was “both” — which was lucky because that’s easy to remember for the final exam.

    Anyway, what I’ve come to realize is that sometimes you have to treat your business like a hobby, not a business. Most of us get into whatever it is we are doing because we love to do it. So it is natural that we don’t stick to the typical 9-5 routine. Yes, I stay up some nights reading about new marketing techniques or up-and-coming software. Yes, I tinker with a paragraph I’m working on, or polish a website design when I should be doing other things. I’m drawn to it because I enjoy it.

    Sometimes that is fine, but sometimes you have to “balance”. Sometimes you have to say “I have a family, and at this particular moment, they come first, not me.”

    The key there is “me” not “my business”. Unless you are literally living paycheque to paycheque (not to be glib here — it does happen to a lot of us) then you can afford to take some time off to read that book with your kid or spend time with your significant other.

    Sometimes you are a wave. Sometimes you are a particle. Different rules apply.

    ~Graham

    Graham Strong´s last blog post…Why Your Ideas Are All Wet…

  4. Right now I’m working hard (harder than I’ve ever worked before) so that I can work less later. I have an attitude of being efficiently lazy, which means if a bunch of effort now can mean a whole lot less later, then I’m willing to do the work.

    Because really, my ideal life would be one where I don’t work, where I’m semi (or wholy) retired, doing only what I want to when I want to, to the schedule I decide.

    Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…It’s Your Life So Take Control of It: Joanna Young Interview

  5. After about 30 years in the marketing /advertising business, mostly as a creative, I have to confess that everything I ever did, every idea I ever had, was based on life experience or an opinion I had formed because I had a life. In fact, if I hadn’t had a life outside of business, to provide me with those ideas, I probably would have had to sell shoes for a living! Bottom line is: having a life makes you better at business—your clients have a life, you should too.

  6. I’m with Kelly. Everything works in ebbs and flows and there are times when business will swallow you without chewing. If it doesn’t, it’s probably not growing with enough rapidity. When you have a chance to surface, breathe deep. It’s a dim existence, I believe, when a single thing defines you.

    Writer Dad´s last blog post…Sliding Doors

  7. 99% of the time, work-life balance is not a problem for me. Life wins, no questions asked.

    The only times I fail at balance are when I start seeking some kind of outside affirmation of my awesomeness as a human being. When I start thinking things life, “I just need to rock this report and I’ll get a big fat raise and my boss will love me,” I’m doomed.

    My advice: get you inner game shit worked out *now* otherwise you’ll be looking to someone else for approval, and if that someone else also pays you, you are totally screwed.

    Maria | Never the Same River Twice´s last blog post…How to Bootstrap Your Life

  8. @ Maria –

    Get you inner game shit worked out *now* otherwise you’ll be looking to someone else for approval.

    Wiser words have never been spoken.

    @ Writer – Actually, if you let your business swallow you, you will never, ever, ever have that chance to come up for air. Welcome to blogger burnout – don’t go that route, dude, and don’t think it’s a normal, acceptable existence. Flow with the tides, but definitely have sandbags handy.

    @ Ken – Having a life *does* make you better at business. I fully, fully agree. When you have a life and you have other areas that provide fulfillment, you do better work and serve clients better, period.

    But I agree with Lisa – there is more to our existence than just work or just life. She’s got a good thing going with FOUR areas, not just two.

    @ Alex – To the “working harder now so I can be lazier later” sentence:

    Hi. My name is James. I will be your future. If you continue this path, you will look like me in a year. See above comment to Writer Dad about never coming up for air.

    @ Graham – Is that math? That looks like math. They told me there wouldn’t be any math involved.

    @ Kelly – I liked this post because there are a few surface concepts, there are a few middle-level concepts, and there are a couple of really deep “thinker” concepts in it that people are probably not going to capture immediately.

    My favorite? The bit about having a declaration to yourself as a guide for everything you do. That’s… something I have to think about.

    @ Tony – I think you have something wise in there too: We need to know what makes us happy and move towards that. Then you work to stay there when you arrive.

    I think a lot of people don’t truly know what makes them happy. They think they do. They don’t, and they figure it out when a crash comes, like Beth did. Only by hardship do we learn to truly appreciate what matters to us, deep down inside.

  9. Alex:

    I don’t think so. I think the ideal life is where you are doing *work* you want to do.

    I was thinking about this stuff in the shower this morning. I asked myself “Am I there? Have I reached my Big Goals?”

    Pretty much, yes. Oh, yeah, I could use some more money (my investments went down, down, down in a Johnny Cash ring of fire) but really – we have enough. Overall, sheesh, I’m on top of the world: happy, healthy, satisfied, fulfilled..

    It’s not going to last. Well, it might, but you can’t count on that. Illness, financial stress, death of loved ones: all out there ready to drown my parade. That’s why I focused on my goals very early on and moved toward them with inexorable intent.

    Your whole website is devoted to that “Someday” concept – acting NOW to get what you want. I understand the “working hard to work less later”, but don’t ever let that get control of you. Short bursts, fine. But anything that makes you weak is too much and is never worth it because “someday” may never come and if you are lucky or smart enough that it does come, it may not last.

    I don’t mean that you don’t invest for the future, ignore long range planning or anything like that. In fact, it’s ALL long range planning. I just hate to see people miss their lives because they are looking forward to Someday.

    Live today. Plan for tomorrow, but live today.

    But you know that. I’m preaching to the converted, aren’t I?

    Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…A Big Xmas Present from Google Adsense by Anthony Lawrence

  10. Wow. You gotta love your readers, James. Loyal and brilliant.

    @Tony, sorry for the confusion. Yep, it’s all simple stuff, isn’t it?

    @Kelly, I have a sneaky feeling that you love your work…that no matter what you do, you would choose something you love.

    @Graham, what a fine analogy. I think anything we do is “right” if the light’s turned on and we’re conscious.

    @Ken, I’ve noticed a funny thing in my practice. It’s creatives who stack the deck in this whole balance equation. People who tend to see how dots connect and wonder about their choices…and they tend to find metaphor in everything. Very helpful in terms of finding one’s true north.

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…When it comes to worn out perspectives, the "Oh Really?" Factor may be worth repeating

  11. @ Maria, spot on. I was an actress in a past life and left the profession because I couldn’t control my schedule, I had no friends who trusted me when I said, “I’ll be there,” and my sense of self was defined by what “type” I fit into. That was 15 years ago, and I just did a play for the first time in that many years last summer, and I remembered what it was like to make people laugh. Hell, to make them feel.

    My point is that when we lose touch with the original inspiration of our choices and let ourselves be externally directed, we are, as you say, totally screwed.

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…When it comes to worn out perspectives, the "Oh Really?" Factor may be worth repeating

  12. James – I ran a flower shop for a dozen years before I picked up a pen. I guess I’m used to the tides. Around the holidays, Mother’s Day and Valentines specifically, I’d have three of four twenty hour days in a row. It was the nature of the beast, and I did feel swallowed whole, but filling those hours was the only way to ensure that the business would have enough meat on the bones to walk through the long dry summer. I see what I’m doing now in much the same way. I have more time with my children than most men could ever dream of (or even want). If there are days when I have more to do that can be done, that’s just the shipping and handling. I would never let anything eat me though. I do know what’s important.

    Writer Dad´s last blog post…Bang!

  13. Like Tyler Durden says in Fight Club:

    “I am not my job”.

    That’s exactly how I feel. I keep my work life and my personal life as separate as possible. As soon as work starts to interfere with my home life, that’s when it’s time to back off and re-focus.

    I realize you can’t always just do this if you run your own business. That’s probalby why I don’t think I want to.

  14. @Writer dad…you are the poster child for life balance. That’s exactly the “experience of integration and flow” we were talking about in the post. Well done with your life, sir!

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…When it comes to worn out perspectives, the "Oh Really?" Factor may be worth repeating

  15. James,

    You are most precious resource, dude. :) Heck, you’re one of my most precious resources! Got to have some sort of a handbook on *you,* even if it’s just a few sentences. Covey’s 7 Habits, if you haven’t read it, will kick your butt with just the right strength. Total game changer.

    Lisa,

    True, and I’m also both crazy-picky and completely laid back in equal measures. I sweat the small stuff, but nothing stresses me for long. Good combo.

    Until later,

    Kelly

    Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Are YOU Wasting Your Most Precious Resource?

  16. James

    First, I’ve never really worked a hardcore full-time job because I’ve been a student (Graduate school now) the last five years. I’ve done seasonal work during the summer that was demanding and so on. Anyhow, I agree with your statement about happiness.

    The reality is, people are searching for and don’t really know what there looking for. No goals, purpose or drive. I’ve seen countless college student battle with these sorts of issues. I had friends that changed majors what seems like every other week.

    At times, their decides were influenced by money or their parents, among other factors. There’s a difference between what I do and who I am. People, the western society measures so called success and happiness by what folks do from 8-5 or by the amount of money earned yearly.

    Take a look at other cultures- people live simple, happy lives. They don’t have all the hype, glamor and toys most western nations have. We think we have it bad… if we learned to put our selfishness aside, and take a look at the world around us, I hope reality smacks us in the face. This is another helpful reminder to help us discover what really matters.

    Miguel | Simply Blog´s last blog post…WordPress 2.7 Changes Everything

  17. @Miguel, what a sweet, righteous comment. Brings me back to the concept of stewarding.

    I like to look at stewarding through the lens of relationships: there’s you and your partner–and a third entity which is the relationship itself. Both partners are feeding and tending the relationship, but neither *are* the relationship. You could say the same is true about work: there’s you, let’s say your business plan, and your business. You and your plan are tending to the business, but neither one *is* the business. Makes decisions and choices ever so much more detached and clear I think…and more resilient and creative, yes?

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…When it comes to worn out perspectives, the "Oh Really?" Factor may be worth repeating

  18. “I am my business.” Ideally, I think our lives should have far more meaning than what we do to make money. Not that there’s anything wrong with being passionate about what we do, it’s fantastic.

    But still, life has much more to offer too.

    Bamboo Forest´s last blog post…How to Prevent Being Struck by Your Mind’s Immobilizing Arrows

  19. Think it’s time for my two-penneth on this one.

    My first point is that balance is not a result in itself. It’s a strategy you can use on your way somewhere important. It’s a strategy you can employ when you need to create more time, space or energy to put somewhere else. By itself it’s pointless. Within a bigger context based on something that matters, it’s powerful.

    And that brings me on to the second point. All this talk about happiness, success and fulfillment results in a whole bunch of stuff flying around, and most folks can’t tell what’s real and what’s imagined. That’s what a large part of the self-help industry perpetuates.

    If you make deliberate choices to engage with the things that truly matter to you and play your best game within that context, then you’re free to make the choices you need to about happiness, success and fulfillment.

    Unless you’re playing a game that matters (and that’s where using balance as a strategy works brilliantly) you’ll catch glimpses of happiness and glimpses of success, but you’ll be missing out on an ongoing, happy success.

    Steve Errey – The Confidence Guy´s last blog post…Have the Confidence to Go the Extra Mile

  20. @ Steve! Ho to that, my friend. You are a wise man. I’m not down with the woo woo la la either. Goal setting and strategizing ways to create balance are pretty bootless without knowing the big picture. Your big picture. This is why our process involves creating declarations that stem from your values and connect up with your vision. It’s the litmus test of all litmus tests.

    I have a client who realized that everything on her daily, mile high to-do list had nothing to do with her big picture. A huge wake up call and many real, grounded, pragmatic AND soulful shifts followed.

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…When it comes to worn out perspectives, the "Oh Really?" Factor may be worth repeating

  21. As I reflect back to the “fall” I realize that I started out very much behind the eight-ball. Universe being what it is slipped me several hints and since I didn’t get them a major slap upside the head was delivered. I got it. Did I need to fall in order to get up? I am tempted to say I wish I knew all that when I was 12 years old, but I know better. Now my practice is to look inward for information rather than outward. Making the shift for me is an on going process. I love the challenge of staying awake :)

    Sincerely,
    Beth ( from Beth’s story)

  22. @ Beth – Coffee helps to stay awake, y’know. ;)

    Seriously? Great story and one I feel is common to many people, especially solopreneurs today. They lift their heads up out of huge projects and mountains of work and say, “Ohmigod. I didn’t want this in my life.”

    Like Lisa mentioned, the big to-do list often has nothing to do with the bigger picture.

    @ Steve – I love your comments. Yes. That’s all I’ll say.

    @ Bamboo – I feel that in our industry (okay, MY industry), we fall in love with our passion and *make* it our life. Then we realize we have no life because we become our passion – and our business. Catch 22? I think so!

    @ Friar – I think it’s the figuring out when we’ve tilted the scales too much in one direction that many people struggle with. Sometimes by the time they figure out, it’s often because of a hard fall.

    @ Miguel – Alex from Someday Syndrome recently posted that in North America, it’s common to ask, “What do you do?” and get a job as an answer. He mentioned that when he moved to Spain, he realized almost no one answers with their job, but rather their hobbies and passion. They’ve got something on us, don’t they…

  23. I like that, James. Everyone here wants to know what we do (for a living). If I say I’m a writer, they then ask “yeah but how do you pay the bills?”

    Balance and happiness to me would mean the freedom to indulge (and get paid for) my passions as I share them with others, and enough “work” to keep me appreciative of the freedoms. Then again, I have a lot of interests, and like flowing from one to another, regarding my time as precious because an employer eats up 12 hours of it every day.

    I do think balance also changes with where you are in the life cycle. We make choices for certain lifestyles and set the course. Until I can support myself with my passions, I will have less balance, but also enjoy the challenge. I can do this because I’m in the life stage of an empty nester. I couldn’t have done this seven years ago.

  24. BJ, you pretty much summed up the definition of balance–from our Craving Balance perspective–making choices that allow your big fat life to show up on your everyday schedule.
    :-)

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…Three Fabulously Practical Ways to Get Your 2009 Goal Setting In Process

  25. I’ve heard this story a thousand times. People tend to base who they are on what they are. Since jobs are such a large part of our lives, we tend to say, “Hi, I’m so-and-so and I am…”.

    It can be overwhelming at times if out jobs or our business becomes a larger part of who we are than who we are outside of work.

    Thomas´s last blog post…Best of 2008 @ TomSlatin.com

  26. @ Thomas – You’ll hear it a thousand more, too. It bears revisiting every so often :)

    @ BJ – LOL! Well, now, how DO you pay the bills? If you said, “Writing,” then you’d dismantle the theory of eccentric, starving writers huddled in cold attics writing by the light of a sputtering candle! All hell would break loose!

  27. Hey, James, I resemble that! Writers say they are getting paid and I say “really? Enough to spring for Starbucks?” LOL Kidding. I admire the hell out of people making money at what they love. I be tryin! Might help to finish revisions on the novel, though, eh?

  28. @James & @Tony
    I keep strick limits on how much time I work. I turn off the computer at 5pm and (unless I wake up in the middle of the night like today), I don’t turn it back on until 6am. I also only use the computer on weekends for fun stuff – I never work (except for the 5 hours Saturday morning that I teach English).

    The reason I’m working harder than I’ve ever worked before is the teaching. I need to earn money to live while I build up my reputation enough to launch and grow my online business. When I start earning online I’ll cut back on the teaching. When I reach a point that I’m earning enough online to afford private health care, I’ll quit teaching altogether.

    Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…It’s Your Life So Take Control of It: Joanna Young Interview

  29. @Alex, what you’re saying is really important to the balance equation. You have some really clear, highly defined goals, and they’re temporary! Ta daa! Because those temporary goals are connected to what you’re committed to, you won’t be “suffering through” some really challenging double duty, but probably thriving.

    Good on you.

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…Three Fabulously Practical Ways to Get Your 2009 Goal Setting In Process

  30. I liked what you wrote about declarations, Lisa. It is definitely a powerful thing to have a personal mission statement….the sense of direction we naturally feel whe we have a personal mission is one of the most motivating forces we can experience.

    Good job on the guest post!

    Conrad Hees´s last blog post…How Willing Are You to Invest in Yourself?

  31. Lisa, I felt the passion in your words and know intimately that more people than not do not have a clear sense of their holistic self. A part of my practice is career marketing and people often come to me shaken and confused following a job loss. More often than not they did define themselves by their job rather than their whole self. This post is an excellent call to action, we only have one life to live and I sure as heck want mine to be full and fluid.

    Karen Swim´s last blog post…Drunk with Power

  32. @Conrad, thank you for the welcome mat. MWP readers are a wise group of humans.

    @Karen, you know, we’re ready for this conversation aren’t we? I think of it as GTD with soul.

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…No Such Thing as Work Life Balance?

  33. One of the joys about working with entrepreneurs (We do small business coaching and install marketing systems) is that we often see ourselves mirrored in them. And reflecting on this post made us see that pretty much every client has dealt with the balance issue differently-as have we.

    My business partner Ken and I are living the dream – century houses in idyllic small towns, work that is rewarding and satisfying, no noise, no traffic no garbage (no sushi, but that’s another issue).

    Pretty much the first day we left the corporate world, we noticed we got all our work finished before lunch; after the initial panic, we realized that we must have been spending about 50% of our days doing absolutely bull***t stuff – meetings, mostly, as I recall.

    Now this leaves a lot of time for balance. And we are pretty lucky, I know.

    So back to our clients: we’ve noticed that people who run their own successful manufacturing, technology, retail businesses or whatever, do so because they want to get up and do whatever they damn well please every day.

    Of course there are pressures. Of course they have a payroll to meet. Of course there are nights when they wonder if they’ll lose it all. But at the end of the day, they work when they want, at what they want.

    We’ve noticed the most successful work about 60 hours a week. They religiously get home nights and weekends. (When they travel, they work 12 hours a day.) They belong to clubs with people just like them: Rotary, United Way, Hospital board, industry associations, Women Entrepreneurs. The guys play on an old timers’ team (mostly hockey) or spend time of the golf course; the women work out at the Y or we meet with our dogs for a day hike.

    That’s a pretty full life, especially when you add kids and in-laws. And we notice that all these facets of a rich and rewarding existence are integrated into the fabric of the community. Our clients have lived and worked in small towns in our region for over 20 years.

    Trust me, this is not what I saw in Toronto, New York, LA or London when I was there.

    We were trying to figure out the difference, and we think it might be that they simply want to stay here because it’s a great place to raise a family; and all the people who want to “be the business” have moved to the big city.

    If you are ever in Port Hope or Cobourg Ontario, we’ll take you to our favourite vineyard’s restaurant about half an hour north of here, and we can talk some more about this over a nice lunch.

  34. I believe the key to not being overwhelmed by work which leads to feeling out of balance is to get maximum productivity out your time spent “working”.

    When you’re productive and projects are progressing nicely or being completed it tends to arouse a feeling of pride in yourself you cart along with yourself through the day.

    When you schedule your day you can make little commitments to yourself that when you finish a certain piece of a project is when you’ll hang it up.

    And if you finish early, if you’re on fire that day and you finish early with what you wanted to accomplish, bail and go renew your energy with something fun.

    I know of no more disheartening feeling than the one in which I feel like I have to serve a sentence. “You stay working for 8 hours because I’ll punish you if you don’t.” Ick.

    Years ago when I was trapped in a cubicle I looked for ways to expand the work I had to do because I knew that even if I got ahead I’d be handed busy work to do to fill the time.

    Yeah, it was a loser attitude and I lost it once I started doing work I enjoyed. Work I felt exploited my strengths and work that was directed by me.

    When I abandoned the “employment in hell for me” plan, and started my own website this forced me to take on full responsibility for my success or lack there of.

    Even though everything was on my shoulders. I felt freer than I ever did while taking orders from anyone.

    And to pull this off you have to be productive. Otherwise you’ll sink the ship.

    Dan Kennedy’s Renegade Millionaire Time Management product was one of my favorite products for this subject until a man name Eben Pagan stormed the scene.

    His Wake Up Productive program rocks. Over. Period. Done.

    It is the finest I’ve come across to this day for how to get things done so your work doesn’t spiral out of control and overwhelm you.

    When you’re procrastinating, missing deadlines or you’re behind on promises how does that make you feel?

    For me, I start feeling like a loser and in the past I’ve been guilty of dragging this loser attitude into the other parts of my life and having a toxic effect on people who cared about me.

    When you’re moving forward you feel proud of yourself… you infect people with the good vibrations you radiate.

    Check Eben’s program out. You have to absolutely love it or he’ll buy it back from it from you.

    Note Taking Nerd #2
    http://www.mynotetakingnerd.wordpress.com

    Note Taking Nerd #2´s last blog post…Marketing Wisdom Discovered In Naughty Story Part 2

  35. @ Note Nerd –

    I start feeling like a loser and in the past I’ve been guilty of dragging this loser attitude into the other parts of my life and having a toxic effect on people who cared about me.

    Thank you for saying that. I fully believe that this happens and that too many people end up falling into this oh-so-easy trap. You’re right, too; there are ways to avoid it, and I’m glad you’ve found one that works for you.

    @ Liz – I’ve been there! Ha! Ohhh… You’re so lucky. I want to live there. *cries*

  36. I aggree with the four areas of focus and having a mission statement for each. It took me some time to find the compass for each in my life. The financial piece was the last one to fall into place and that began when I started working for myself rather than trying to follow someone elses guidlines for me.

    Susan/Unique Business Opportunity´s last blog post…Do Holidays Make Building Your Network Marketing Business More Difficult?

Trackbacks

  1. […] time for ourselves is important. We need to learn the right balance between work and personal life, the balance in ourselves, and the balance between work and […]

Leave a Comment

*