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	<title>Comments on: Losing Your Sense of Self Because of Your Business</title>
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		<title>By: Finding More Time For Yourself &#124; Men With Pens</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23888</link>
		<dc:creator>Finding More Time For Yourself &#124; Men With Pens</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jan 2009 11:56:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23888</guid>
		<description>[...] time for ourselves is important. We need to learn the right balance between work and personal life, the balance in ourselves, and the balance between work and [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] time for ourselves is important. We need to learn the right balance between work and personal life, the balance in ourselves, and the balance between work and [...]</p>
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		<title>By: Susan/Unique Business Opportunity</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23611</link>
		<dc:creator>Susan/Unique Business Opportunity</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Dec 2008 00:28:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23611</guid>
		<description>I aggree with the four areas of focus and having a mission statement for each.  It took me some time to find the compass for each in my life.  The financial piece was the last one to fall into place and that began when I started working for myself rather than trying to follow someone elses guidlines for me.

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;Susan/Unique Business Opportunity&#180;s last blog post...Do Holidays Make Building Your Network Marketing Business More Difficult?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I aggree with the four areas of focus and having a mission statement for each.  It took me some time to find the compass for each in my life.  The financial piece was the last one to fall into place and that began when I started working for myself rather than trying to follow someone elses guidlines for me.</p>
<p><abbr><em><abbr><em>Susan/Unique Business Opportunity&#180;s last blog post&#8230;Do Holidays Make Building Your Network Marketing Business More Difficult?</em></abbr></em></abbr></p>
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		<title>By: James</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23609</link>
		<dc:creator>James</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:26:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23609</guid>
		<description>@ Note Nerd - &lt;blockquote&gt;I start feeling like a loser and in the past Iâ€™ve been guilty of dragging this loser attitude into the other parts of my life and having a toxic effect on people who cared about me.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

Thank you for saying that. I fully believe that this happens and that too many people end up falling into this oh-so-easy trap. You&#039;re right, too; there are ways to avoid it, and I&#039;m glad you&#039;ve found one that works for you.

@ Liz - I&#039;ve been there! Ha! Ohhh... You&#039;re so lucky. I want to live there. *cries*</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>@ Note Nerd &#8211;<br />
<blockquote>I start feeling like a loser and in the past Iâ€™ve been guilty of dragging this loser attitude into the other parts of my life and having a toxic effect on people who cared about me.</p></blockquote>
<p>Thank you for saying that. I fully believe that this happens and that too many people end up falling into this oh-so-easy trap. You&#8217;re right, too; there are ways to avoid it, and I&#8217;m glad you&#8217;ve found one that works for you.</p>
<p>@ Liz &#8211; I&#8217;ve been there! Ha! Ohhh&#8230; You&#8217;re so lucky. I want to live there. *cries*</p>
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		<title>By: Note Taking Nerd #2</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23608</link>
		<dc:creator>Note Taking Nerd #2</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:34:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23608</guid>
		<description>I believe the key to not being overwhelmed by work which leads to feeling out of balance is to get maximum productivity out your time spent &quot;working&quot;.

When you&#039;re productive and projects are progressing nicely or being completed it tends to arouse a feeling of pride in yourself you cart along with yourself through the day. 

When you schedule your day you can make little commitments to yourself that when you finish a certain piece of a project is when you&#039;ll hang it up.  

And if you finish early, if you&#039;re on fire that day and you finish early with what you wanted to accomplish, bail and go renew your energy with something fun.  

I know of no more disheartening feeling than the one in which I feel like I have to serve a sentence.  &quot;You stay working for 8 hours because I&#039;ll punish you if you don&#039;t.&quot;  Ick.  

Years ago when I was trapped in a cubicle I looked for ways to expand the work I had to do because I knew that even if I got ahead I&#039;d be handed busy work to do to fill the time.  

Yeah, it was a loser attitude and I lost it once I started doing work I enjoyed.  Work I felt exploited my strengths and work that was directed by me.

When I abandoned the &quot;employment in hell for me&quot; plan, and started my own website this forced me to take on full responsibility for my success or lack there of.

Even though everything was on my shoulders.  I felt freer than I ever did while taking orders from anyone.  

And to pull this off you have to be productive.  Otherwise you&#039;ll sink the ship.  

Dan Kennedy&#039;s Renegade Millionaire Time Management product was one of my favorite products for this subject until a man name Eben Pagan stormed the scene.

His Wake Up Productive program rocks.  Over. Period. Done.

It is the finest I&#039;ve come across to this day for how to get things done so your work doesn&#039;t spiral out of control and overwhelm you.

When you&#039;re procrastinating, missing deadlines or you&#039;re behind on promises how does that make you feel? 

For me, I start feeling like a loser and in the past I&#039;ve been guilty of dragging this loser attitude into the other parts of my life and having a toxic effect on people who cared about me.

When you&#039;re moving forward you feel proud of yourself... you infect people with the good vibrations you radiate.

Check Eben&#039;s program out.  You have to absolutely love it or he&#039;ll buy it back from it from you.

Note Taking Nerd #2
www.mynotetakingnerd.wordpress.com

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;Note Taking Nerd #2&#180;s last blog post...Marketing Wisdom Discovered In Naughty Story Part 2&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I believe the key to not being overwhelmed by work which leads to feeling out of balance is to get maximum productivity out your time spent &#8220;working&#8221;.</p>
<p>When you&#8217;re productive and projects are progressing nicely or being completed it tends to arouse a feeling of pride in yourself you cart along with yourself through the day. </p>
<p>When you schedule your day you can make little commitments to yourself that when you finish a certain piece of a project is when you&#8217;ll hang it up.  </p>
<p>And if you finish early, if you&#8217;re on fire that day and you finish early with what you wanted to accomplish, bail and go renew your energy with something fun.  </p>
<p>I know of no more disheartening feeling than the one in which I feel like I have to serve a sentence.  &#8220;You stay working for 8 hours because I&#8217;ll punish you if you don&#8217;t.&#8221;  Ick.  </p>
<p>Years ago when I was trapped in a cubicle I looked for ways to expand the work I had to do because I knew that even if I got ahead I&#8217;d be handed busy work to do to fill the time.  </p>
<p>Yeah, it was a loser attitude and I lost it once I started doing work I enjoyed.  Work I felt exploited my strengths and work that was directed by me.</p>
<p>When I abandoned the &#8220;employment in hell for me&#8221; plan, and started my own website this forced me to take on full responsibility for my success or lack there of.</p>
<p>Even though everything was on my shoulders.  I felt freer than I ever did while taking orders from anyone.  </p>
<p>And to pull this off you have to be productive.  Otherwise you&#8217;ll sink the ship.  </p>
<p>Dan Kennedy&#8217;s Renegade Millionaire Time Management product was one of my favorite products for this subject until a man name Eben Pagan stormed the scene.</p>
<p>His Wake Up Productive program rocks.  Over. Period. Done.</p>
<p>It is the finest I&#8217;ve come across to this day for how to get things done so your work doesn&#8217;t spiral out of control and overwhelm you.</p>
<p>When you&#8217;re procrastinating, missing deadlines or you&#8217;re behind on promises how does that make you feel? </p>
<p>For me, I start feeling like a loser and in the past I&#8217;ve been guilty of dragging this loser attitude into the other parts of my life and having a toxic effect on people who cared about me.</p>
<p>When you&#8217;re moving forward you feel proud of yourself&#8230; you infect people with the good vibrations you radiate.</p>
<p>Check Eben&#8217;s program out.  You have to absolutely love it or he&#8217;ll buy it back from it from you.</p>
<p>Note Taking Nerd #2<br />
<a href="http://www.mynotetakingnerd.wordpress.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.mynotetakingnerd.wordpress.com</a></p>
<p><abbr><em><abbr><em>Note Taking Nerd #2&#180;s last blog post&#8230;Marketing Wisdom Discovered In Naughty Story Part 2</em></abbr></em></abbr></p>
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		<title>By: Liz</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23607</link>
		<dc:creator>Liz</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:32:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23607</guid>
		<description>One of the joys about working with entrepreneurs (We do small business coaching and install marketing systems) is that we often see ourselves mirrored in them. And reflecting on this post made us see that pretty much every client has dealt with the balance issue differently-as have we.

My business partner Ken and I are living the dream - century houses in idyllic small towns, work that is rewarding and satisfying, no noise, no traffic no garbage (no sushi, but that&#039;s another issue). 

Pretty much the first day we left the corporate world, we noticed we got all our work finished before lunch; after the initial panic, we realized that we must have been spending about 50% of our days doing absolutely bull***t stuff - meetings, mostly, as I recall.

Now this leaves a lot of time for balance. And we are pretty lucky, I know.

So back to our clients: we&#039;ve noticed that people who run their own successful manufacturing, technology, retail businesses or whatever, do so because they want to get up and do whatever they damn well please every day. 

Of course there are pressures. Of course they have a payroll to meet. Of course there are nights when they wonder if they&#039;ll lose it all. But at the end of the day, they work when they want, at what they want.

We&#039;ve noticed the most successful work about 60 hours a week. They religiously get home nights and weekends. (When they travel, they work 12 hours a day.) They belong to clubs with people just like them: Rotary, United Way, Hospital board, industry associations, Women Entrepreneurs. The guys play on an old timers&#039; team (mostly hockey) or spend time of the golf course; the women work out at the Y or we meet with our dogs for a day hike.

That&#039;s a pretty full life, especially when you add kids and  in-laws. And we notice that all these facets of a rich and rewarding existence are integrated into the fabric of the community. Our clients have lived and worked in small towns in our region for over 20 years.

Trust me, this is not what I saw in Toronto, New York, LA or London when I was there. 

We were trying to figure out the difference, and we think it might be that they simply want to stay here because it&#039;s a great place to raise a family; and all the people who want to &quot;be the business&quot; have moved to the big city.

If you are ever in Port Hope or Cobourg Ontario, we&#039;ll take you to our favourite vineyard&#039;s restaurant about half an hour north of here,  and we can talk some more about this over a nice lunch.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of the joys about working with entrepreneurs (We do small business coaching and install marketing systems) is that we often see ourselves mirrored in them. And reflecting on this post made us see that pretty much every client has dealt with the balance issue differently-as have we.</p>
<p>My business partner Ken and I are living the dream &#8211; century houses in idyllic small towns, work that is rewarding and satisfying, no noise, no traffic no garbage (no sushi, but that&#8217;s another issue). </p>
<p>Pretty much the first day we left the corporate world, we noticed we got all our work finished before lunch; after the initial panic, we realized that we must have been spending about 50% of our days doing absolutely bull***t stuff &#8211; meetings, mostly, as I recall.</p>
<p>Now this leaves a lot of time for balance. And we are pretty lucky, I know.</p>
<p>So back to our clients: we&#8217;ve noticed that people who run their own successful manufacturing, technology, retail businesses or whatever, do so because they want to get up and do whatever they damn well please every day. </p>
<p>Of course there are pressures. Of course they have a payroll to meet. Of course there are nights when they wonder if they&#8217;ll lose it all. But at the end of the day, they work when they want, at what they want.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve noticed the most successful work about 60 hours a week. They religiously get home nights and weekends. (When they travel, they work 12 hours a day.) They belong to clubs with people just like them: Rotary, United Way, Hospital board, industry associations, Women Entrepreneurs. The guys play on an old timers&#8217; team (mostly hockey) or spend time of the golf course; the women work out at the Y or we meet with our dogs for a day hike.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s a pretty full life, especially when you add kids and  in-laws. And we notice that all these facets of a rich and rewarding existence are integrated into the fabric of the community. Our clients have lived and worked in small towns in our region for over 20 years.</p>
<p>Trust me, this is not what I saw in Toronto, New York, LA or London when I was there. </p>
<p>We were trying to figure out the difference, and we think it might be that they simply want to stay here because it&#8217;s a great place to raise a family; and all the people who want to &#8220;be the business&#8221; have moved to the big city.</p>
<p>If you are ever in Port Hope or Cobourg Ontario, we&#8217;ll take you to our favourite vineyard&#8217;s restaurant about half an hour north of here,  and we can talk some more about this over a nice lunch.</p>
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		<title>By: Lisa Gates</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23602</link>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Gates</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:12:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23602</guid>
		<description>@Conrad, thank you for the welcome mat. MWP readers are a wise group of humans.

@Karen, you know, we&#039;re ready for this conversation aren&#039;t we? I think of it as GTD with soul.

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;Lisa Gates&#180;s last blog post...&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cravingbalance.com/craving-balance/2008/12/16/no-such-thing-as-work-life-balance.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;No Such Thing as Work Life Balance?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>@Conrad, thank you for the welcome mat. MWP readers are a wise group of humans.</p>
<p>@Karen, you know, we&#8217;re ready for this conversation aren&#8217;t we? I think of it as GTD with soul.</p>
<p><abbr><em><abbr><em>Lisa Gates&#180;s last blog post&#8230;<a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/craving-balance/2008/12/16/no-such-thing-as-work-life-balance.html" rel="nofollow">No Such Thing as Work Life Balance?</a></em></abbr></em></abbr></p>
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		<title>By: Karen Swim</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23601</link>
		<dc:creator>Karen Swim</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:58:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23601</guid>
		<description>Lisa, I felt the passion in your words and know intimately that more people than not do not have a clear sense of their holistic self. A part of my practice is career marketing and people often come to me shaken and confused following a job loss. More often than not they did define themselves by their job rather than their whole self. This post is an excellent call to action, we only have one life to live and I sure as heck want mine to be full and fluid.

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;Karen Swim&#180;s last blog post...&lt;a href=&quot;http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WordsForHire/~3/486614164/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Drunk with Power&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Lisa, I felt the passion in your words and know intimately that more people than not do not have a clear sense of their holistic self. A part of my practice is career marketing and people often come to me shaken and confused following a job loss. More often than not they did define themselves by their job rather than their whole self. This post is an excellent call to action, we only have one life to live and I sure as heck want mine to be full and fluid.</p>
<p><abbr><em><abbr><em>Karen Swim&#180;s last blog post&#8230;<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WordsForHire/~3/486614164/" rel="nofollow">Drunk with Power</a></em></abbr></em></abbr></p>
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		<title>By: Conrad Hees</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23596</link>
		<dc:creator>Conrad Hees</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:40:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23596</guid>
		<description>I liked what you wrote about declarations, Lisa.  It is definitely a powerful thing to have a personal mission statement....the sense of direction we naturally feel whe we have a personal mission is one of the most motivating forces we can experience.

Good job on the guest post!

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;Conrad Hees&#180;s last blog post...&lt;a href=&quot;http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ConradHees/~3/486014643/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;How Willing Are You to Invest in Yourself?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I liked what you wrote about declarations, Lisa.  It is definitely a powerful thing to have a personal mission statement&#8230;.the sense of direction we naturally feel whe we have a personal mission is one of the most motivating forces we can experience.</p>
<p>Good job on the guest post!</p>
<p><abbr><em><abbr><em>Conrad Hees&#180;s last blog post&#8230;<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ConradHees/~3/486014643/" rel="nofollow">How Willing Are You to Invest in Yourself?</a></em></abbr></em></abbr></p>
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		<title>By: Lisa Gates</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23595</link>
		<dc:creator>Lisa Gates</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:21:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23595</guid>
		<description>@Alex, what you&#039;re saying is really important to the balance equation. You have some really clear, highly defined goals, and they&#039;re temporary! Ta daa! Because those temporary goals are connected to what you&#039;re committed to, you won&#039;t be &quot;suffering through&quot; some really challenging double duty, but probably thriving.

Good on you.

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;Lisa Gates&#180;s last blog post...&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.cravingbalance.com/craving-balance/2008/12/15/three-fabulously-practical-ways-to-get-your-2009-goal-settin.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Three Fabulously Practical Ways to Get Your 2009 Goal Setting In Process&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>@Alex, what you&#8217;re saying is really important to the balance equation. You have some really clear, highly defined goals, and they&#8217;re temporary! Ta daa! Because those temporary goals are connected to what you&#8217;re committed to, you won&#8217;t be &#8220;suffering through&#8221; some really challenging double duty, but probably thriving.</p>
<p>Good on you.</p>
<p><abbr><em><abbr><em>Lisa Gates&#180;s last blog post&#8230;<a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/craving-balance/2008/12/15/three-fabulously-practical-ways-to-get-your-2009-goal-settin.html" rel="nofollow">Three Fabulously Practical Ways to Get Your 2009 Goal Setting In Process</a></em></abbr></em></abbr></p>
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		<title>By: Alex Fayle &#124; Someday Syndrome</title>
		<link>http://menwithpens.ca/losing-your-sense-of-self-because-of-your-business/#comment-23593</link>
		<dc:creator>Alex Fayle &#124; Someday Syndrome</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2008 02:02:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://menwithpens.ca/?p=2265#comment-23593</guid>
		<description>@James &amp; @Tony
I keep strick limits on how much time I work. I turn off the computer at 5pm and (unless I wake up in the middle of the night like today), I don&#039;t turn it back on until 6am. I also only use the computer on weekends for fun stuff - I never work (except for the 5 hours Saturday morning that I teach English).

The reason I&#039;m working harder than I&#039;ve ever worked before is the teaching. I need to earn money to live while I build up my reputation enough to launch and grow my online business. When I start earning online I&#039;ll cut back on the teaching. When I reach a point that I&#039;m earning enough online to afford private health care, I&#039;ll quit teaching altogether.

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;Alex Fayle &#124; Someday Syndrome&#180;s last blog post...&lt;a href=&quot;http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SomedaySyndrome/~3/485358470/&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Itâ€™s Your Life So Take Control of It: Joanna Young Interview&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>@James &amp; @Tony<br />
I keep strick limits on how much time I work. I turn off the computer at 5pm and (unless I wake up in the middle of the night like today), I don&#8217;t turn it back on until 6am. I also only use the computer on weekends for fun stuff &#8211; I never work (except for the 5 hours Saturday morning that I teach English).</p>
<p>The reason I&#8217;m working harder than I&#8217;ve ever worked before is the teaching. I need to earn money to live while I build up my reputation enough to launch and grow my online business. When I start earning online I&#8217;ll cut back on the teaching. When I reach a point that I&#8217;m earning enough online to afford private health care, I&#8217;ll quit teaching altogether.</p>
<p><abbr><em><abbr><em>Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome&#180;s last blog post&#8230;<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SomedaySyndrome/~3/485358470/" rel="nofollow">Itâ€™s Your Life So Take Control of It: Joanna Young Interview</a></em></abbr></em></abbr></p>
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