Three Men (with Pens) and a Lady

kill_bill_2A long time ago, a commentator came to our blog with a cheerful greeting. She popped up one day out of the blue, new and innocent to this world called blogging. She was perky. She was fun and inquisitive. She was adorable.

She came back the next day, and the next after that, and I soon found myself looking forward to her impromptu visits, drawn to the vivacious presence that made my day better. She was witty and fun, she was inquisitive and she was eager to learn.

I thought she was fantastic.

The acerbic, witty repartee she brought to the world was sharp and cunning. With blinding intelligence, she could turn a phrase with lightening speed, flicking her mental epée to slice language open in the blink of an eye. She stood up to me, daring to stare me in the eye while she challenged, contested and called me out.

She was adorable.

I had to know more. We began emailing back and forth, and I was more besotted with each passing day. We spent long hours discussing the philosophies of life and love. We debated the virtues of guns versus swords. We extolled the virtues of fine company and good attitude.

She had roguish charm. She could swagger with the best and soothe my inner beast. My tantrums never phased her and my moments of sunshine pleased her to no end. She pleased me, too. She was confident and casual, classy and professional. She was dazzling. She drew me in like a bug zapper draws in a fly.

She even wrote me a love letter.

Like two teenagers head over heels for each other, we chatted and talked for hours. She discovered my soul, and I discovered her incredibly ability to make me want to tear out my hair in utter frustration. (Women.) I would valiantly argue with her (as all good men do) and eventually succumb to her charming point of view (as all good men do).

Fickle female that she was, she would scorn my affection with one hand while drawing me in with the other, giggling with delight the more calf-eyed I became. She could see through all my swaggering charm and picked apart the protection of my cocky demeanor to expose all my faults and quirks.

She knew me.

We spent stolen afternoons together, and it was bliss. She could cook. She could clean. She tickled my curiosity and I made her laugh. She would shower me with praise and bolster my pride, and I would admit that I was really nothing that special at all. She agreed, but she loved me anyway.

She was adorable.

Of course, every good love story has a poignant conflict, this tale deserves no less.

I was torn by my loyalty to my fellow brethren. I had made vows, nay, pledges to remain faithful! Now I struggled, tempted by an alluring pixie. You see, I already had a relationship – two, in fact, having declared undying devotion more than once. How could I now betray what I swore to uphold, all for this cheeky creature? It was a trial of the soul.

Could I stay true? Was I strong enough to resist? I needed a plan.

A plan I found, because every good schemer gets what he wants. I wooed her slowly, worming my way into her heart. I didn’t want a tryst – I wanted a long-term relationship, one born of common dreams and ambitions. I tested her devotion in subtle ways, making sure her heart was true. I lured her in as she’d lured me and then one day…

I proposed.

Her eyes flew open. She sat up straight in her chair, knocking over the cup on the table. She caught it halfway to the floor with a rogue’s backhand, laughed aloud, and proclaimed, “Hells , YEAH!”

Hells yeah, indeed.

Without further ado (because there’s certainly been enough already), may I introduce you to the newest addition in our Men with Pens family, Ms. Taylor Lindstrom, a most excellent copywriter and journalist. She even has a degree.

Taylor (or Tei, as we call her) comes to us from Good Ink (where she behaves) and Rogue Ink (where she doesn’t). A strategic secret weapon, her addition to our shameless group only enhances our arsenal’s strength. As James’ right-hand man (or woman), Taylor’s talents include:

  • Website content
  • Copywriting
  • Editing services
  • Sales and marketing copy
  • Ebook content
  • Blogging
  • SEO and keyword articles

As usual, we were too cheap for a wedding (and shacking up is way cheaper), but we know that every happy ending means someone cues the music. Maestro?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVnli5SCJEs[/youtube]

Post by James Chartrand

James Chartrand is an expert copywriter and the owner of Men with Pens and Damn Fine Words, the game-changing writing course for business owners. She loves the color blue, her kids, Nike sneakers and ice skating.

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  1. Great post James, kept me riveted to the end and welcome Tei. I’m fairly new around here but I know we’ll get along just fine.

    I too am bi-lingual (though cursing in Welsh is nowhere near an art form as it is in French) and I also prefer swords over guns.

    There I said it! Stick that in your exhaust pipe and…where did I put my kevlar?

    Marc – Welsh Scribe´s last blog post…Ghostwriter Fees:How to Set Your Rates The Right Way

  2. Welcome to MWP, Ms. T!

    Looking forward to your insights and your yukking it up with the canukle-heads here.

    It looks like (other than your questionable taste in friends) that you’ll be bringing a lot to the table.

    This should be fun.

    Cheers!

    George

    Tumblemoose´s last blog post…Keep Your Copyrights: Don’t Sell the Farm

  3. ‘Bout time someone made a go at hacking into the testosterone ’round here. 😉

    Congrats, Tei!

    Nicole Brunet´s last blog post…A Place in My Mind

  4. Congrats, Tei. You’re my favorite stickler and you’ll make a great addition to MWP.

    I’d say you don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m afraid you do. Have a stellar ride.

    Regards,

    Kelly

    Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah

  5. Quite a story, very suspenseful! I’m glad a woman has joined the crew, but how will you ever get any work done with all that passion in the room? 🙂

    Dot´s last blog post…OpenOffice Extensions

  6. @Dot, Harry and his bike haven’t posed that much of a problem yet 😉

    Marc – Welsh Scribe´s last blog post…Curiosity May Kill The Cat But it Feeds The Writer

  7. Wendi Kelly- Life's Little Inspirations says:

    Holy COW, so…you have been the ones hiding the rogue?? Well…this is only good news if we get to see more of her.

    Congrats to all of you!!

    And Hi Tei!!!

    Wendi Kelly- Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog post…When the Sun Won’t Come Out

  8. Mark – Don’t worry, Harry’s with us. Most of the time. Though he goes for Eastern style swords.

    Tumblemoose – Welcome indeed. Looks like I’ve been gone too long. Has someone been COMPLIMENTING James in my absence? You know it goes right to his head.

    Nicole – I just excise it. Slowly. With a knife. And then I make it into a cigarette and smoke it.

    Kelly – Thanks so much. Working on getting back up and around.

    Dot – I keep a bucket of water handy for just that purpose. Never you worry.

    Wendi – You get to see me today. And, apparently, a striptease, since James is too much of a man to go with “Whatever Lola Wants.” ::snort:: Just wait’ll I persuade Harry to obey my bidding instead of his.

  9. @Tei – Ahh well, I’m going to have to side with Harry on his taste in swords I’m afraid.

    Marc – Welsh Scribe´s last blog post…Curiosity May Kill The Cat But it Feeds The Writer

  10. Wha-…Hey! Who let you out to play?! Give me that… *snatches back comment section*

    @ Marc – I had a ton of fun writing that, y’know. There’s something to be said for creativity when it’s applied to love letters.

    @ Tumblemoose – She’s trouble. Don’t let her innocence fool you like it did me.

    @ Nicole – Yeah. I’m just bracing for that once-a-month estrogen overload… *sigh*

    @ Kelly – Would we promise any other kind of ride?

    @ Dot – My plan is to have her feed me bon bons while I lounge around and wave my scepter. Sound good?

    @ Wendi – It was either shack up or let her get away forever. 🙂

  11. Welcome, Tei, this is a very happy day indeed. Rogue Biscuits for everyone!

    @Marc: *hands him some fine Japanese steel* Had an extra floating around, help yourself. If Tei starts operating on testosterone, you’re going to need it.

    @James: No! Don’t stuff her back in the box so soon! You just let her out!

    @Tumblemoose: Listen to James, he knows what he’s talking about 😉

    @Dot: It does get a little steamy in here from time to time, but it does make life interesting!

    @Wendi: Is “Hide the Rogue” a new game? Sounds like fun.

  12. You’re going to get accused of chauvinism again if you keep that up, Jamie-boy . . . all the bon-bons are for ME. That’s how everyone lives through the once-a-month deal without getting a scepter shoved right up their –

    Hey, is that a pony?

  13. @ Harry and James – I’m just bracing myself for the love fern

  14. Well isn’t this just the awesomest day ever? YAY!!!

    PS, Careful there, Tei, or they’ll start calling YOU Pandora. 😉
    *guards my nickname with my life*

    Amy Derby´s last blog post…Why Old School Marketing Won’t Work For Your Law Blog

  15. Urban Panther says:

    As I was reading the post, tears were welling up in my eyes. Every word resonated. Ah, James is taking things to the next level. He is finally going public with our love affair.

    Imagine the shock and the SHEER HORROR of discovering that he was not talking about me. The shameless player was talking about ANOTHER woman!

    Welcome aboard, Tei. You can have him! *grin*

  16. Amy: They just call me Glorious the Magnificent. It’s not much of a nickname, but it’ll do.

    Urban Panther: I rent him out for $25 a night. I don’t know that it’s ever worth it, but you might get lucky.

  17. Long as they don’t call you GloMag for short. 😉

    Amy Derby´s last blog post…Why Old School Marketing Won’t Work For Your Law Blog

  18. @Tei
    Do you rent him out to just women, or can I rent him out too?

    Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…Accepting personal responsibility for our fulfillment in life

  19. At last! Tei reappears … my feedreader has shown a big fat zero on Rogue Ink for months. Hurrah!

    Where’ve you been? I missed you.

    Lucy´s last blog post…Funny Business

  20. TEI!!!! Way to shake the salmon!!!!!Yay, And Rah!!!!

    YES!!! Although… uh…we kind of like to share the guys…. just saying….;-)

    Very , very cool.

    Janice Cartier´s last blog post…Room To Play

  21. @ Lucy – Well if it took Tei to get you comin’ out to comment over here, we’re keeping her! 😉

    @ Alex – I learned in Purchasing that everything’s negotiable. If you were thinking of dressing me in a French maid costume and actually putting me to the housekeeping duties, the price is gonna be DAMNED high.

    @ Amy – GloMag is the funniest thing I’ve heard this week and I kept bursting out laughing every time I read it.

    @ Tei – Obviously, I haven’t taught you enough about entrepreneurship if $25 is the going rate for a Get-Your-Jones-with-James night. (sigh)

    @ Urban – WAIT! It wasn’t an affair! I thought you were cool with it!! Isn’t that what you meant when you said, “Whatever, James. Just whatever.”

  22. Urban Panther says:

    James, James, James. ‘Whatever’ is Girl Speak for you are exclusively mine.

  23. Wendi Kelly- Life's Little Inspirations says:

    Maybe James can add to Tei’s job description *Translates girl speak for James*

    Wendi Kelly- Life’s Little Inspirations´s last blog post…When the Sun Won’t Come Out

  24. Urban Panther says:

    @Wendi – it doesn’t matter. As far as James and I are concerned, it is “talk to the hand, James, talk to the hand”. Pardon me, while I hypocritically go take solace in the comfort of another man in my life … (shuffles away, heart broken and disillusioned)

  25. @ Urban – May I remind you who you came to for those sweet nothings whispered in your ear… Siboire… Calisse… Calvaire…

    Mmhm.

  26. Alex – I would never be so discriminatory as to deny James to the weaker sex.

    Lucy – Been creating a new website for the Rogue Ink, just as I promised. Eventually it will exist, and then there will be posts again. Hurrah.

    Janice – I am very share-oriented. How do you think I managed to get myself a harem of Pen Men? I do not limit myself to just one.

    James – I know plenty about entrepreneurship. Rule one: never charge more than anyone is willing to pay. That’s the highest price I’ve been offered for you.

    Wendy – Tei does not translate girl speak. Tei introduces rogue speak. Which is way harder to keep up with.

    UrbanPanther – Be very careful where he sticks that tongue. All the sibilants have caused a horrible disease in his taste buds. Word.

  27. You mean.. Tei is REAL? I thought she was a character invented by James. Maybe she still is, and this whole thing’s just gotten more elaborate.

  28. Urban Panther says:

    @James – oh sure. Play the French Card why don’t you?

    @Tei – EW GROSS!

  29. Urban Panther says:

    @Tei – um, I had to look up sibliants. Apparently it means: sibilant is a type of fricative or affricate consonant, made by directing a jet of air through a narrow channel in the vocal tract towards the sharp edge of the teeth. I can see why James chose you over me. I’m still working on that spit thing that has to happen when swearing properly in French. I am so out of his league if he can sibliate!

  30. @ Urban – Ask Tei how her whistling’s going. At least I can do THAT.

    (Thank you. I was about to go look that up too, lol)

  31. RhodesTer,

    ROFLOL, LOL, LOL…

    It’s plenty elaborate as-is.

    Panther, Janice,

    Thank you for ghost-writing about my feelings of insane jealousy. The check’s in the mail.

    Until later,

    Kelly

    Kelly´s last blog post…Inspiration Points: The Best Part of Being an Entrepreneur?

  32. Urban Panther says:

    @Kelly – you too?! What a cad! Isn’t there a movie about women discovering they all have the same boyfriend, then plotting revenge upon him? And now we have a woman on the inside! Excellent (she says, rubbing her hands together in evil glee)

    Urban Panther´s last blog post…Learning to slow down and repeat

  33. Panther,

    *edited*

    Oh, I can’t. I just can’t.

    Let’s just say my grief and my glee are both equally evil, shall we?

    Must. run. away.

    Kelly´s last blog post…Inspiration Points: The Best Part of Being an Entrepreneur?

  34. James: I hate you.

    I shall now proceed to make a list of things that Tei can do that James cannot.

    Throw daggers
    Make chicken marsala without looking at a recipe
    Define “sibilants” without the assistance of willing commenters
    Sharpen a sword with a ceramic mug
    Drive cross-country in three days
    Recite a book’s worth of poetry
    Persuade a man to make tea instead of coffee in the morning
    Do so by sheer dint of that man knowing she can kill him with her bare hands
    Define “dint” without the assistance of anyone, yea, even unto Google
    Have a lively conversation with a Nobel Prize laureate
    Multiple orgasm

    Screw your whistling. I hate you.

  35. Welcome, Tei!

    (Gosh, I didn’t know girls could play, too… Maybe I should burnish up my flirting skills….)

    –Deb´s last blog post…Premio Dardos

  36. Uh, geez, I read the post and was expecting to see my name at the end. James, how could you! I thought we had . . . ok, I just better stop right there before I start any rumors. Oh wait, rumors are fun!

    Hi Tei. Nice to meet you. A chick with a sword, that’s cool. Oh crap, that didn’t sound right. Ok, I better just go now 😉

    @James – you should have played that song I sent you the other day at the end of your post. That would have been hilarious.

    @RhodesTer – genius thought!

    John Hoff´s last blog post…Understanding The Psychology Of Your Website Visitors

  37. @ John – Well, Alex is already lining up, so I suppose you can too…

    And yeah! Oh that would’ve been a perfect song! Argh, that’ll teach me to post ahead of time.

    @ Deb – Ah, your relationship and mine is special. All soft and woolly, y’know?

    @ Tei – *whistles…. innocently*

  38. Ha, I knew the ending by the time I read the first paragraph. I quietly watched the love affair unfold, catching the stolen glances and the secret looks of adoration you thought no one else could see. I knew the Rogue had wrapped her finger around your heart and can think of no better addition to this family of pens. Ah, but of course I join the other women in being over the moon happy – more Tei is a good thing – but bitten by the green eyed monster of jealousy. 🙂 Welcome aboard Tei you so deserve to be here!

    Karen Swim´s last blog post…Love is Not on My List

  39. @Tei – Love the hat, love the angle! I think James has met his match. And you’re right about the bon bons, too.

    @James – What did you say your rate was? 😉

    Dot´s last blog post…OpenOffice Extensions

  40. Tei, I think a man who can write an introduction (love missive) like that is worth more than all the chocolate on the planet, don’t you? I mean, it’s almost like he “gets” it, you know? Welcome, welcome, welcome.

    Now get to work you three…

    Lisa Gates´s last blog post…Work-Life Integration and Flexwork: Who’s getting the big picture?

  41. I’ve been slack checking posts lately, so a big belated congrats!

    Sally´s last blog post…What a book about a hippo eating cake can teach us about writing

  42. James,

    Well done, I was hooked at the get go! 🙂 Welcome and congrats Tei. Look toward to reading your work. Cheers!

    -Mig

    Miguel´s last blog post…22 Word Challenge: Ignite Your Blogging

  43. ROFl a a nice introduction post james LOL a great story telling ..haha
    .-= soffu´s last blog ..How to be a successfull entrepreneur part I =-.

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