Are You Forgetting to Network With Your Friends?
“I get by with a little help from my friends.” – The Beatles
True story: for a long time, and when I was a child, no less, I thought that line was, “I get high with a little help from my friends.” This was before I actually knew that you could get high, and that it involved consuming illegal substances. I think I had some vague idea that it had to do with kites. ANYway . . .
Why haven’t you hit your friends up lately?
The other day, a friend of mine asked me if I knew anyone who could write great copy and call her up every morning to taunt her mercilessly until she got her butt out of bed.
I stared at the screen. Was this like when those infomercials ask you questions like, “Wouldn’t you like to live fungus-free?” Was this a sly way of asking me to do the work, the way guys will occasionally ask you out if they want a subtle in? (“I don’t suppose you know any sexy, intelligent single women who would be interested in a guy like me?”)
It turns out that no, it just hadn’t occurred to my friend that I’d be interested. This is my fault. Most of my friends apparently don’t know what I’m interested in. Your friends probably don’t know what you’re interested in either.
Oh, friends have an idea of what I do for a living. They know I write, for example. But some of them only have a vague idea of what copywriting is. They have no way of knowing that their job is either something I do for a living or something I’d be interested in doing for them.
Guess why my friends don’t know these things?
If you guessed, “Because you haven’t told them, nimrod,” you win a shiny prize.
Tell your friends what you’re up to. Send an email to a friend now and then and mention what’s new in your business world. Talk to them about your plans, like expanding your business or taking on a partner or getting into synchronized swimming with dolphins. Ask your friends to refer anyone they know that might have information or resources that would be helpful to you.
Thank them, tell them you miss them and that you’d love to talk to them soon, and sign off.
Something weird will happen. Your friends will call or write back. They’ll have ideas for you. Help. Advice. They’ll say, “I saw you were going to run a contest and you know what? I would love to contribute a prize. It’ll help me promote my own business.” They’ll say, “Hey, I didn’t know you were into journalism. You should meet my friend Mark. He’s been writing for the New York Times since he was in diapers.” Or they’ll say, “You like muffins? I ALSO like muffins! We should make muffins together sometime!”
Seriously. Opportunities only happen when you make them happen. Go tell your friends what you’re up to you. They’ll help you out. Sometimes they’ll even make muffins for you when you can’t make your own. Who are you to turn down a good muffin?
The authorities out there always tell you to work a contact if you really want a job or an opportunity. There’s a reason. We’re more inclined to talk to, help out, and collaborate with people we know – OR with people our friends have endorsed. And there’s a lot of evidence that friend assistance is better than any other kind of assistance you can name, including financial.
Anyone got a good story about a boost from a friend?
22 Responses to “Are You Forgetting to Network With Your Friends?”
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LOL! I had that experience a few weeks ago. A friend – who I’ve known for about ten years – asked if I knew any Business Coaches. Ummmm…. HELLO!!! LOL! We’re now trading her services (she’s an Image Consultant) for my coaching.
I often forget that my friends don’t understand what I do. I know my mother has no idea, she thinks I teach ‘Life Skills’ to people who can’t handle everyday life……
We all go to networking events, hand out cards, network on twitter, facebook, linkedin etc and then forget our own network that is more likely to endorse and spread the word about us and what we do. Definately time to get in touch.
Besides, what’s not to enjoy about coffee and muffins with friends?
Melinda´s last blog post…Do You Have Permission to Market?
I can completely relate to this. My husband is a clinical psych nurse, and really good at telling a compelling (and often funny) story at a dinner party – so he’s the one that everyone knows what he does for a living.
Me – I’m a good writer, but I’m also a good listener – so I know what everyone else does, but they haven’t a clue what I do.
I’m only just beginning to keep my friends in the loop a little more – and already I’ve got some word-of-mouth work. A great lesson for me.
Sally, Snappy Sentences´s last blog post…Intranet redevelopment planning 101
First, I too thought it was I get high will a little help with my friends!! And that was long before I knew what high was (and if I hear the song today it’s still stuck in my head!!)
Second, great insight on the post. Something simple, easy and yes, FUN to do…get in touch with friends. But we often forget things that are right in front of our nose.
I do have the problem that my friends know I do something with health, weight loss and wellbeing — but they’re not really sure what I do. Now I realize because I haven’t really told them. Duh!
And my favorite line in all of this is when you said “Opportunities only happen when you make them happen.” Now THAT is so true and a lesson for us all. It’s now my new mantra. I keep waiting for opportunities instead of making them happen. I used to make them happen, but somehow as I’ve aged I’ve done it less so (why is that?)
I’m off to call and email some friends! Hoping they have some cupcakes for me too
Dinneen – Eat Without Guilt´s last blog post…Should You Hold on to Your Skinny Jeans?
Oooo I’m not going to say it but I’d love a shiny prize anyways!!
I am very lucky to have three incredibly close friends, we went to school together, uni together and finally… you guessed it, worked together. By that time I was the sales manager for a small IT firm in Berkshire, England. One of my friends was a little stuck for a job so I employed him as a sales executive, I knew he’d do a good job, I just never guessed that 4 years on he’d still be there (despite me moving on a good 2 years ago) working as an account director managing a tier one pan-european vendor… he owes me (especially when he rocks up at my front door in his convertable BMW every week), I’m not jealous at all.
I must say though, I am a sucker for what you’ve written. Ask most of my friends and even family what I do and I’m sure they’d say ‘oh, isn’t he a sales guy?’. I’ve been rubbish at promoting myself to the people close to me, something that I am only just realising now trying to build a readership on my blog… “You mean all these years we haven’t known you love wine?” I mean… I worked in the wine industry for two years, I just ‘assumed’ that everyone would have known by some mysterious psychic link that I was actually interested in what I was doing.
Sounds like you have suffered from this syndrom too James, shall we name it?
Oops, my fault – the post is Tei’s, going to change that now!
In the real world when I tell people what it is I do for a living they often look at me like I have three heads, two of which are turning purple. Last night I was at a PTA meeting for my daughter and they were asking for donations for the silent auction. I raised my hand and said that I would be happy to donate some writing. This must have escaped my lips laden in profanity, at least judging by the silence in the room.
I offered to help a good friend with SEO (for free) for his struggling business, but he didn’t believe in the “voodoo” as he called it.
I’m learning to be shy about what I do for a living, which is really quite silly because I feel genuinely proud inside. I guess just like writing, the only way to get better is practice, practice, practice.
Writer Dad´s last blog post…What LOST Has Taught Me About Writing Great Copy
You know, one of those lines actually does say, “I get high with a little help from my friends.” You’re child-self may not have understood it, but she wasn’t wrong.
I hesitate before I tell someone what I do because everyone mistakes “copywriter,” for “copyright-er.” So I’ll tell people I do sales or advertising or Internet writing.
Recently, I started telling people that I run the Internet. When I manage to say it with a straight face, they look impressed.
I should probably know better, my biggest client right now is a doctor I’ve known since I was a kid and I’m working with him because I took the time to explain what I do.
We like to do business with people we know but at the same time keep business and pleasure separate. Ironic, eh?
Henry Bingaman´s last blog post…Email Marketing: 4 Tips For Writing More Effective Emails
@ Henry – You may run the Internet, but I own it. *evil cackle*
Actually, the friend of a friend of a friend thing is how I ended up with my totally awesome Assistant DreamGirl, J. Because I am basically shameless, all of my friends knew about my blog and the dating profile biz. My friend Jason showed it to his friend Katie (who would totally have worked for me if she wasn’t working for one of my competitors), and she showed it to J, who I ended up hiring. She’s totally awesome and a perfect fit for the site, too.
I’m also talking to all my music teaching friends about a pair of blogs that I’m launching and getting a bunch of people that want to guest post. Super sweet.
Geek’s Dream Girl´s last blog post…Congratulations @geck0man! For Losers, Crab Stuffed Shrimp Outback Recipe!
I think one of the biggest lessons (that I may have to write a follow-up post on) is really that your friends don’t necessarily understand what you do, or what it means. Not just that you should get in touch, but when you do, you’re going to have to EXPLAIN far more than you might think.
>>If you guessed, “Because you haven’t told them, nimrod,†you win a shiny prize.
I’ll be watching the mailbox.
RhodesTer´s last blog post…“The taste of the pudding is in the eatingâ€
It’s hard to ask friends because some friends will feel an obligation. I do ask friends who I think are not afraid to say no, and will give unbiased feedback. I want to network my website to everyone I know but I want to wait till it has solid moorings; I don’t want them to feel that I’m using them.
Kaushik´s last blog post…What if Susan Boyle couldn’t sing?
None of my RL friends suffer from Someday Syndrome (it’s a birds of a feather thing) or they are all Spanish (and just don’t get the coaching thing – they call it selling smoke), I rely on my online friends who all get what I do because I talk to them about it non-stop.
The great thing is when I want something I can go to them and ask directly because that’s the community I’ve built up online. Yay to deliberate choices!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…7 Little Somedays You Didn’t Know About Me
Good post. Make it simple – write down in the sidebar or somewhere on your blogs and websites what you do, a list of your favs, dislikes, etc. and what you are doing the week of April 19 – 25 2009 (like a bio) as I am starting to add to mine by learning of viewing other blogs and websites. It keeps people informed and up-to-date with you. Just don’t turn it into a FB or MySpace and keep it professional.
Happy Earth day!
@Henry – okay, thanks for pointing out that one of the lines is ‘get high’. I was seriously questioning my childhood self, and got all sidetracked (easily done) and had to go look it up. And I want to thank you for keeping the Internet you own completely up to date with this type of information. Otherwise, I would have spent the day completely traumatized.
Or, I could have taken Taylor’s advice, and sought out a friend to reassure that little girl in me over a muffin.
@ Urban Panther- Actually, James owns the Internet. I just run it for him. But it’s my pleasure to keep us all up to date on useless trivia. After all, that’s what running the Internet is all about.
Also, muffins are more fattening than trivia.
Henry Bingaman´s last blog post…Preventions Or Solutions
I learned how important it was to keep your friends in the loop when I lost my job last February (2008). Because a friend and I regularly go out to dinner, she and her husband knew about my situation. Soon after, I got an email from the husband with a link about a position. I’ve worked for that employer for more than a year, now, and like it a lot.
Another good reason to network with friends is because you can gain valuable insights or ideas in the process. My friend and I (sometimes other friends, too) still get together every couple of weeks.
Mary Klaebel´s last blog post…Apr 22, How to Research a Paper
Ha! I had the following conversation with my best friend’s husband about two weeks ago:
Him: “You guys do website design, right?”
Me: “Sure do.”
Him: “Great. I need a website. When can I talk to you about it?”
And this is because I had talked to his wife, repeatedly and excitedly, about the new business my roommates and I were starting after the previous company that we worked for had to close down.
Also, my mother has been telling everybody that she comes into contact with, from family members to her manicurist, about what I do. Never underestimate the pimping power of friends and family members.
I had a similar experience. My sister called a couple weeks ago to know if I could recommend any of my writing friends for her best friend, who needed a resume.
“Um, me?”
–Deb´s last blog post…Four Reasons to Turn Off Your Computer
I know what you mean. Folks at the karate dojo know I’m a wiz at computers, and so recently I’ve been getting quite a number of tech questions from the karate parents (I also maintain the dojo website). I suppose word finally does get spread around.
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog post…Big Dog SHOCKING Secret – Money doesn’t HAVE to be made TODAY Part 3
Thanks for the reminder Taylor,
This is really where networking came from. WE just kept in contact with friends and with a little give and take everyone came out ahead. That was before “networking” became a science and people were only interested in you if they could get something now.
Personal contacts are golden for other things than just a sale on this week’s numbers.
Andy@hair plugs´s last blog post…The Best Thinning Hair Treatment Is Hair Restoration
I have written many post to bloggers that you are only as strong as your friends. I happen to have some of the best friends on the internet. If it wasn’t for them I would of quit blogging along time ago.
I just passed by here cause I used to be a wannabe writer
Excellent work thanks
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