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Putting the “Social” Back Into Social Networking
If you’re like me, you spend a lot of time at the computer. You also probably engage with others using one or more social networks, like Twitter or Facebook, or use social media methods to promote your products or services.
That’s networking, whether you realize it or not. You’re meeting new people day in and day out, making new contacts and widening your circle of friends. Have you ever thought about social engagement, and what it can do for you?
At the WordPress Las Vegas WordCamp, Aaron Hockley told a story about the amazing effect social media had in Portland, Oregon.
Once Upon A Time
It all started innocently enough. A group of people wanted to hold a conference, so they got together, thought up a nice twist on the usual conferencing format and tweeted their event, Ignite Portland.
Ignite Portland isn’t your usual conference. It’s like blogging live through onstage improvisation. Here’s what Ignite Living says about the format they use:
If you had five minutes onstage, what would you say? What if you only got 20 slides, and they rotated automatically after 15 seconds? Around the world, geeks have been putting together Ignite nights to show their answers.
The news of Ignite Portland hit the virtual airwaves. Ignite’s first event premiered to a sold-out audience of 297 people. Their second event doubled the amount of attendees and then some.
They spread the word through social media. Then they let that network spread the message further. But even more? They used social media to help people socialize.
Beer and Blog
Another group of social networkers took a slightly different route with their events. They wanted to meet face to face with others and get away from their computers, so they started Beer and Blog.
We treat our own blogs as virtual pubs sometimes, but this group put it into action, meeting with other bloggers in their area to talk shop, help newcomers, give seasoned advice and create amazing projects that could catapult blogging beyond anything you know today.
Beer and Blog put the word social back into social networking.
Human Nature
Humans have a fundamental need to socialize and gather in groups. It only makes sense that web workers and bloggers get out of their offices and venture out into the light of day to connect with people in the real world.
We need social networking for more than just organizing events or promoting our business. We need to interact with others because we’re people. Being around others and not tucked away in our office helps give us motivation and gets our creative juices flowing.
All it takes is a little bit of socializing.
Help spread the word!
Welcome to our community. Kick back, put your feet up and join the discussion.
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Harry,
Oh, I love those stories. I’m always saying I’d like to be able to meet some of the folks I “know” online. I’ve thought about bringing people together from all over, but I never really thought of bringing just local folks together. Beer and Ignite both sound like wonderful ways to do that. Hm, wonder if Monk’s Café in Philly has an area large enough to do Beer and Blog?
Wait.
You went to Word Camp? Did anybody get a picture of you?
*evil brain wonders about finding photos*
Darn, I have to work. Evil comes later.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
@ Kelly – *grin* We sent him undercover. Was great. But we can’t reveal details or we’ll have to kill you.
Social networks are just amazing things. Humans are herd animals by nature, but this new online dimension of crowd interaction is something that evolution just couldn’t predict.
I was very pleased to see your article pop up in my reader just now, as coincidentally I’ve just published a piece on crowd behavior in the online world and how information flows through social networks called follow the herd.
You are spot on about your observations on human nature though, and I hope the online connections manifest themselves in the real world more often!
Patrick
Very Evolved´s last blog post…Follow the Herd. How behavior and stories spread through online crowds
A friend and ex-colleague of mine has just started a new project that aims to use social media to bring people together, online and in person. She using the term social niceworking in her blurb.
As a newcomer to the blogging fraternity, I’m already seeing the benefits of, yer know, talking to people and helping them out whenever possible. It feels good and more rewarding than I imagined it would be.
Iain Broome´s last blog post…Writing goals 1: Don’t expect the unexpected
Raul and I were talking recently about how I don’t have any of my own friends here in San Sebastian. All of my friends here are his and he does the social planning.
The energy I’d spend making friends in real life goes towards chatting with people online. Not so good for my Spanish, but we’re always doing something so my face-to-face social needs are met and I can focus my energy on having a great selection of friends all around the world!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…Goals and patience: Michael Martine interview
It’s great to socialize. But I think you gotta excercise a bit of caution, regarding meeting on-line people in person. You never know if you’ll get a nut-bar. I wouldn’t hand out personal information to liberally.
Case in point. I have some friends who picked up in Internet stalker from a chat room. Who hacked into their personal information, and got their home phone number, and harassed them at home and at work. The District Attorney had to get involved.
I personally know a blogger who had a complete meltdown on-line, got abusive with the comments. and stopped their blog altogether and then disappeared. It was almost scary (And I’m relieved that I never met them and they don’t know where I live!)
Not that this happens all the time. And not that we shouldn’t network. Just that we should be aware of the risks out there…
Friar´s last blog post…A few new Watercolors
I’ll just look at the wide shots of the room. I think I could spot the handsomest man at the conference pretty easily.
Friar,
My nutbars are all IRL. Although I did orginally pick up King Nutbar online, so maybe there’s something to your cautious theory. Hm.
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
It’s an interesting predicament, really.
When I think about who I have within my community, there are definitely some folks who I would love to sit around a campfire with, hoisting frosty beverages ’til sunrise.
But,
One of the cool things about this whole blogging/online gig is the slight air of mystery that exists. I like that a bit. I’ve got a vision for what the people in my community look like, their mannerisms and such. I would hate for reality to blow that out of the water.
I’ll have to think on it.
Cheers
George
Tumblemoose´s last blog post…Tumblemoose housekeeping
The Ignite event sounds pretty cool.
I love how a time or size constraint forces people to brutally boil down or ruthlessly prioritize and strut their best stuff.
J.D. Meier´s last blog post…Actions, Insights and Notes
@ JD – Procrastination cures?
@ Tumblemoose – I agree. I like the division between virtual friends and face-to-face friends. There are plenty of people I’d like to meet, but somehow, I like that mystery myself. To me, it’s two diff worlds and I have a gentle boundary between them.
@ Kelly – Nutbar reminds me of Oh Henry, for some reason…
@ Friar – There’s another reason I like the separation. Very much so.
@ Alex – I admit there are times when I mention an online friend to my friends here and there are some funny looks because they just don’t understand how these relationships develop. But in a way, I kinda like that, too.
@ Iain – I thoroughly enjoy networking through media tools like Twitter. It’s a great experience – and I’m glad to see you there!
@ Very – One of the biggest issues with freelancers is the feeling of isolation. So many complain of that – and it all goes back to herd instinct and safety in numbers. We’re hardwired for those feelings. This type of socializing certainly helps break that isolated feeling!
@Kelly: I was so undercover at WordCamp, not even I recognized myself
Ahhh, Philly, I do miss that town sometimes. I’m trying to think of a good bar out there and I’m drawing a total blank. Monk’s does sound good, though
@Very: It’s a cycle, don’t you think? For years everyone has been absorbed in text, and now they’re going in the opposite direction. In fact, I wonder how all this social media will effect the generation of kids that grew up behind a screen.
@Ian: yes, it is a good feeling at the end of the day to know you’ve helped someone
@Alex: I’ve had that happen to me too. I only have a small handful of “real life” friends at any given time and I end up making friends with friends of friends. Online is a very different story.
@Friar: I know, the caution is always there at the back of my mind, but sometimes it’s a chance worth taking.
@Tumblemoose: Mystery? James and I have that down to a science!
@JD: I thought it was a cool concept too. You never know what you’re going to come up with when you’re forced to do a creative sprint.
Online social networks can fill a need sometimes, depending on where you live.
My own personal case in point would be some of my own interests – it seems the bulk of the people I could socialize with in “real life” in my town really don’t give much thought to things other than hockey and hunting and pickup trucks.
Okay, those are cool sometimes, but can I find someone who might be interested in computers? Can I find anyone on the street in my town other than Friar who knows what a blog is? Is anyone interested in writing a book? Does anyone like sporty cars? Has anyone watched Fight Club?
Not likely.
So without the blogs and social networks and so forth, my brain would be idle many hours of the day.
Believe me – I tried. There is a computer club. Most of the members make my grandparents look young, and my grandparents are dead…
Brett Legree´s last blog post…ultimate self-help tool – free for a limited time!
I’m brand spankin’ new to world of blogs, email and social networking.
But while cruising around, I’ve found some people I’m on the same wave length with. For this shy work-a-holic talking back and forth with some cool copywriters has been therapeutic.
The entrepreneurs work-from-home lifestyle is unique.
We don’t have the clique at the office to hang with during breaks and after hours. And for me there’s almost no one in my life that gets what I do. I always get the “huh” look when I tell people I sell results, which lead to emotions people want to feel, in pixel and print.
They don’t get it. And I imagine like most entrepreneurs it can be lonely not having anyone to talk shop with. Especially if you don’t look at shop as some kind of axle grease you need to wipe off your hands before talking to the general public, family or friends.
I love talking about my work because I enjoy it.
It seems like you and James do to.
I’m glad I found you guys.
Note Taking Nerd #2´s last blog post…If I Could Hear The Questions You Ask Yourself Would I Think I Was In The Presence of a Leader Or a Victim?
@ Note –
Yes. Yes, it is. And I’m very glad to have been able to find people who can share the joys and hardships of that life with me.
Like you!
(Now go check your email
Nope. I don’t go for the slight air of mystery/gentle boundary. The lack of voices and facial expressions online gets to me. If I’m happy to talk with you online, I’d love to meet you IRL and shatter or enhance my illusions. Otherwise, I wouldn’t waste my online breath! But sadly, people whose online company I enjoy are gazillions of miles from me, and my local friends totally don’t get the online experience.
Harry,
The Irish place on 2nd would be cool, too. Can’t remember their name, but they have an awesome balcony where bloggers could preserve their air of mystery from the rabble below…
So to go undercover what did you do? Cater the thing?
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
@NTN: I guess I’ve been lucky in that everyone around me understands the work at home thing. My mom worked from home with her own business when she first moved out here. My roomie understands the computer geek mentality because he deals with it every day in his office (he’s a CAD designer).
I’ve seen what James had to go through with the folks around him and if anyone understands what it’s like to fight through outside perceptions of working at home, it’s him.
@Kelly: I bought the hotel
Harry,
In that case you can rename this place Men With Big Bankrolls.
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
@ Kelly – Personally, I was considering “James’ Major Debt”.
Harry,
You may have a leg up on James, I and anyone else who didn’t see their parents running their own business.
Gene Landrum, author of Profiles of Power and Success: Fourteen Geniuses Who Broke the Rules, has found in his tireless research of people like Napoleon Bonaparte, Walt Disney, Howard Hughes, Pablo Picasso and Amelia Earhart a commonality that applies to our discussion.
That is, having parents or a parent who ran their own company. Growing up and seeing first hand what it takes to run a business. The long hours, the up and downs and maybe, just maybe the wild success that allows them to give you everything you want.
I did not have this luxury.
But I find I have some of the quirks some of these people do. And after reading this book a friend of mine who has encouraged me to write has claimed to understand why I do some of the weird stuff I do after reading this book.
When I read it, I also came to peace with some of my behaviors that don’t seem “Normal” to my family, friends and associates.
If you are all interested in what makes geniuses who will forever be remembered for their accomplishments tick, get Gene Landrum’s books.
There’s Profiles of Power & Success, The Superman Syndrome and 8 Keys to Greatness.
I’m punch drunk in love with these books and I feel in my heart of hearts anyone on the entrepreneurial path will adore them also.
Talk again soon Harry,
Note Taking Nerd #2
Note Taking Nerd #2´s last blog post…If I Could Hear The Questions You Ask Yourself Would I Think I Was In The Presence of a Leader Or a Victim?
I’ve heard of Ignite Portland. 20 slides, 15 seconds each? There’s a challenge. Hm. Something to consider.
What about champagne and blogging? I would want champagne.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post…Why Robert Redford Is A Hero
LOL, Janice. That was my first thought, but champagne bars are so rare.
Later,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
Harry — so you DID go to Wordcamp? Cool! I figured you’d be in a disguise. Like a gorilla suit or something. Hehehe. Had I been thinking — or, ya know, actually cared — I’d have hired a team of stalkers to follow you around and take a photo…. for Kelly.
I’ve actually met a bunch of Chicago social media folks, most via twitter, a few from blogs.
What’s been really fun is that I just recently found a handful of people from my town who are on Twitter. Several of us met up a couple weeks ago. Kinda sad when you have to go online to meet the kids next door, but hey — I was just happy someone in my town knows what a blog is.
Amy Derby´s last blog post…Do You Use Video On Your Law Firm Blog?
Harry, it’s a little too cozy here in mod. Please, let me out!
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
@Amy: No, I was the guy in the big pink bunny suit
@Janice: Champagne I would drink for sure
@Kelly: Too cozy?
Oh right! The bunny suit! I didn’t see that in the videos. LOL
Amy Derby´s last blog post…Do You Use Video On Your Law Firm Blog?
@Amy: That’s because it was the *invisible* bunny suit.
Note to self: for next large corporate convention, borrow Harry’s invisible bunny suit.
Hehe.
Amy Derby´s last blog post…Do You Use Video On Your Law Firm Blog?
Harry—Moderation makes me claustrophobic.
You mean I can’t just watch for the dark, handsome tattooed man? I have to look for pink bunny-ears, too?
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
She sat expectantly, sipping Veuve Cliquot, scanning the room, when a tattooed arm reached to refill her glass. She slowly looked up the muscular arm to see a stranger in pink bunny ears, smiling roguishly into her eyes….
Like that?
Janice Cartier´s last blog post…Why Robert Redford Is A Hero
Stop.
Y’giving me goosebumps.
ROFL.
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
It’s the guys’ fault, they said be social.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post…Why Robert Redford Is A Hero
Amusingly, only one of them said he’d be social. I believe the exact words of the other were, “pfft!”
But then it turns out that “social” involves an invisible bunny costume, which I think really takes away from the social aspect.
Here’s to socializing—whatever it means.
Later…
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
@ Kelly – I’ve kept up my end of the bargain! (Though not today. Was drowning in accounting.)
James — I met with my accountant today. He laughed at me. Probably a bad sign, eh? Hehe.
Amy Derby´s last blog post…Do You Use Video On Your Law Firm Blog?
How hard is it to keep up your end of pfft?
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
Ack. No link, no nuthin’.
What did I ever do to deserve all this moderation?
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
@ Kelly – Considering the number of hours I’m spending being sociable these days, I think “ppfft” doesn’t apply.
@ Amy – My accountant said, “You do really well! It shows you know your stuff!” And then handed me a bill for $600 to clean things up
But I’ll admit, did she EVER! (And yes, I know accounting well, lol)
James — I hear ya. I know accounting too. I just like paying other people to clean up my messes. Except for my apartment… that one no one would touch without a bulldozer. Everyone’s always like “Get a cleaning person!” and I’m like “Um… then I’d have to clean up for the cleaning person!”
One of these days, I’d like to meet you. And I mean that in a very non-creepy way. Just sayin.
Amy Derby´s last blog post…Do You Use Video On Your Law Firm Blog?
James,
Oh, ye of divisions and gentle boundaries, on a post about considering F2Fs. I think that counts as pfft, no?
I’d second Amy, but I’ve already told you that, somewhere in the long ago. So it wouldn’t be seconding.
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
@ Kelly – You’re the fourth person this month that has mentioned I have divisions, boundaries and whatnot. That’s…
…beginning to worry me, actually, LOL
F2F. Have no idea what that acronym means.
And I promise to bring you and Amy to visit me one day. ‘Cuz unless it’s on four wheels, I ain’t gettin’ to where you two are
Oh, sorry. F2F is face to face.
What’s wrong with four wheels? I don’t fly anywhere. (a) I like a good drive and (b) Planes make me ILL. Thinking of planes makes me ill. Thinking of thinking of planes…
Kelly´s last blog post…Tip of the Week: Have a Lobstah
I think that saying we are “by nature” social animals is like saying that we are “tall animals”. Compared to what? Ants? Elephants?
Some of us are very social, some less so. Some are naturally drawn to teams, some mistrust such gatherings.
At pathological extremes, “lone wolves” can be dangerous, but so can groups, so I don’t think that leaning in either direction is inherently good or bad.
I don’t think of myself as very “social”. I like “socializing” but I don’t work well in teams and don’t do well at managing teams either – I’m definitely a lone wolf and I think that’s fine: do what you do well and don’t worry if someone else has a different way of doing it.
Groups, organizations, teams are great: IF YOU LIKE THAT. If not, so what? Being tall is great. Being short can have advantages too (think “jockey”, for example).
Don’t force yourself into someone else’s idea of who you should be.
Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…Programming Principles and Practice Using C++
Good point Tony – your last sentence summed up nicely the reason why I like socializing a bit online. I’m more than hockey, hunting and pickup trucks, so I refuse to force myself to fit into shoes I cannot possibly wear.
Brett Legree´s last blog post…ultimate self-help tool – free for a limited time!
@ Tony – Psychologically, biologically, and sociologically speaking, human beings are herd animals. They are hardwired at their most basic level and deepest response system to function best in numbers, whether that number is two or two million.
That is what ‘by nature’ means.
Whether you want to be as evolved as possible or not, you cannot change the fact that your brain physiology is formed to be with other people because that is the root of instinctual survival for human beings.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens´s last blog post…Putting the “Social†Back Into Social Networking
James, James, James
“By Nature” humans have 5 fingers on each hand. My brother-in-law was born with just a finger and a thumb on his left arm (which also ends roughly at his left elbow).
Recent research suggests that serial killers may be incapable of empathy – a very common “human” trait. We all certainly know that some of us are more or less empathetic than other people we know.
Some of us have better vision, are taller or shorter, faster or slower.. I have extreme astigmatism: 20/40 vision uncorrected. Am I not “human” because my eyes are not constructed as most people’s are?
Not all of us are “herd animals”. Some of us are wired very differently from the norm. There is wide variance in both what you can see on the outside and what’s on the inside.
One of the things that has always made me laugh is how distrustful people can be of those who don’t seem to fit in when actually they should be far more wary of the other type: the glad-hander, hail fellow well met types are much likely to abscond with your money than the geek who wants nothing to do with your “team” (church, sports, whatever).
I’m going to reproduce part of a post I wrote some time ago. You can find the whole thing at http://aplawrence.com/Linux/brains.html but this is the relevant part:
People who don’t wear the tribal paint are outsiders, perhaps not to be trusted.
There is tremendous hypocrisy, of course. We tell our children not to bend to peer pressure when it comes to sex, drinking, drugs. Just say no: you are your own person. But don’t dress differently. Don’t die your hair orange. If “everybody” has nose rings, well, maybe that’s OK for now. Go along to get along, honey. Dress for success.
People who don’t conform are sometimes mentally disturbed. They don’t comprehend the importance of getting along with the group, or are so driven by other forces that anything they do understand is pushed aside.
But there have always been people who are on the fringes of the group. They trade with the tribe, but they aren’t part of it. They don’t participate in the religious and social customs. Often the “group” isn’t totally aware that these people actually are much more different than they think. It’s a big world now, so if you don’t see John at your church, well, he’s probably at another. John doesn’t talk much about baseball either: maybe he’s a basketball fan.
Or maybe he isn’t. Maybe John looks at your social customs as rather laughable. He doesn’t tell you so, but really he sees you as a rather pathetic and scared creature desperately seeking approval from your peers.
Or maybe John is just too intensely focused on his own interests. He’s a passionate artist, consumed by the fires of his own creative urges. He hasn’t the spare energy to be bothered with the mundane events of your dull existence.
Maybe John just doesn’t give a damn what you think.
But there’s also Peter. Peter actually shares John’s disdain for your conformity, but you’d never know it. Peter walks the walk and talks the talk, but not because he wants your approval. No, he wants your money. He’s the wolf in sheep’s clothing, the one your mother warned you about.
I like John a heck of a lot more than I like Peter, but Peter has a lot more friends. Or at least they think they are his friends.
Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…My First Look at WordPress Plugins
@ Tony – That’s a beautiful straw man you’ve got there. You’re wandering off the path of my point and distracting with another unrelated point to what I’m saying.
I didn’t create the human being nor the cells and nuclei and all good things that go into our bodies and brains. These things are what they are. Herd instinct isn’t something you can choose or not. It’s built in whether you like it or not.
@Harry – it’s not a straw man and it’s not off point.
You said “Have you ever thought about social engagement, and what it can do for you?”
I am simply pointing out that it’s not that important for some of us and that’s OK.
“Herd instinct” is bulit in like 5 fingers and 20/20 eyesight is built in. It’s built in like being rougly a meter and a half tall is built in.
NOTHING is absolute in humans. Nothing.
Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…Programming Principles and Practice Using C++
@Tony: I have to agree with James. There’s no debating millions of years of hard genetic coding that says the group equals survival. The loner didn’t survive long in the wilderness. Those separated from the herd/pack faced a slow death when they didn’t have the group around them for support.
And you may say humans don’t need anyone else, that they can be lone wolves, but I say no. Even the hardest of criminals won’t fare well in solitary confinement.
We may have evolved, but there is still that fundamental need, deep down inside, that drives human beings to connect in some shape or form. I’m not immune to it, and neither are you and that’s why we’re both here now debating this.
*musing*
During my studies, we had to read experiments about the effects of isolation on children and babies. Very hard to read, is all I’ll say.
@Harry and James
My brother-in-law might not have survived in the stone age either. My poor visiuon (20/400 not the mistype I made above) would have made early death almost certain for me also. Yes, poor social skills would cause problems in earlier times, but we live in a different world today.
You are being blinded by your own perceptions of how your mind works and making the mistake of thinking that everyone is like you. Not all of us are – genetic variances affect more than visible things.
Do you know much about autism and Asperger’s syndrome? Those are perfect examples of people – humans – whose brain wiring is very different from the norm. In those cases, it’s extreme enough to be noticed and carry its own lable, but like most things, personality traits can slide in any direction and don’t have to slide all the way to pathological to be “different”.
A person with 20/30 vision is a little different. A person with 20/400 vision is very different, but there is lots of room in between.
Social interaction is vital for those who are wired to need it. It’s less vital for others. If you stop and think about it, I’m sure you’ll come to understand that.
Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…New Banner Logo at APLawrence.com
@James:
Babies need food and warmth from their parents also. Babies can’t protect themselves from many things that adults can and need many things that adults do not.
It’s quite a stretch to jump from “babies need love” to “all adults require social interaction at the same level”.
I NEED to breathe. I NEED food calories, vitamins, warmth, and so on. I LIKE a small degree of social interaction but do NOT enjoy large amounts.
Am I not human?
You aren’t thinking this through
Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…New Banner Logo at APLawrence.com
@ Tony – I’m not at all debating whether all people need the same levels of social interaction. Not at all.
I am stating that human beings need *some* level of companionship with their own kind. Asperger’s, autistic people, you name it. Pure isolation results in insanity, Tony, period.
Do we all need the same levels of social interaction? Good lord, of course not. Everyone would be like me, and that would just be chaotic.
But human beings do need some social interaction. These are fundamental, physiological, psychological, basic needs. Do you feel that I speak inaccurately?
Also, I don’t believe that anyone said, “All adults need the same level of social interaction.” The post didn’t state that, Harry didn’t state that and I didn’t state that.
Hey James,
When I read your comment yesterday I got everything but the last sentence telling me to check my email.
The address I think you have is the one for my business partner. This is mine… notetakingnerd2@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
One thing I wanted to mention in reference to us having a “herd” instinct was something I learned from an entertaining and extremely enlightening program called “Why men don’t listen and Women can’t read maps. How we’re different and what to do about it” by Barbara and Allan Pease.
In this book, this couple has gone through loads of scientific research on how men’s and women’s brains react differently to the same stimulation due to evolution and social programming.
One of the interesting points they make goes back to the caveman days when men would leave the women at home all day while they went out to find lunch and dinner.
Well, what else we’re the women to do while watching the kids. You got it. Talk each others ear off all day long. It’s the author’s belief that this scenario is what lead to women becoming so adept with their social skills and also wired with the desire to be social.
Anyone who hunts or fishes knows talking scares the prey away so even if the men were together, they had to keep quiet if they wanted to be successful.
The authors do a better job of explaining this than I just did but I think you get the picture.
This book was fascinating and I highly recommend it to anyone who’s curious about what makes the opposite sex tick, why they do and how to respond to it in a way that doesn’t get you in trouble.
Note Taking Nerd #2
Note Taking Nerd #2´s last blog post…If I Could Hear The Questions You Ask Yourself Would I Think I Was In The Presence of a Leader Or a Victim?
*blink* There are two of you? That’s confusing – it’d be better if you both started using names along with your business name (ie, Judy – Note Nerd) in comments.
I just wanted to mention that it’d be great if there’s no link-dropping going on in the comments (maybe it wasn’t you but your partner? I used the email that went with the comment, so probably not you).
Relevant posts or sites for discussion purposes is great, but with the website field for comments and Comment Luv working for you, there’s no need to add a link back to your site when commenting. I have to go remove it by hand each time.
Now, onwards!
There’s been a lot of research done on this type of thing – Men are from Mars, for example. We’re an incredibly evolved mammal and yet… so primitive just the same.
Cool about the women talking, though – I can see that!
“Also, I don’t believe that anyone said, “All adults need the same level of social interaction.†The post didn’t state that, Harry didn’t state that and I didn’t state that.”
No, but I felt that it was strongly implied. At the end of the post:
“Being around others and not tucked away in our office helps give us motivation and gets our creative juices flowing.”
And your arguments through most of this were from extremes: total isolation, infants, stone-age sociieties, insistence that socializing is “hard-wired”. I took all that as rather strongly suggesting that social interaction is critically important for everyone.
At the end, it seems that you’ve softened and we may be close to or actually at agreement. Do we agree that the need for such interaction varies widely among individuals? Do we agree that some people survive quite nicely with low levels that might be bad for others and that the reverse is just as true?
Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…New Banner Logo at APLawrence.com
*ahem*
I hate yakking, though there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s wired into women’s brains much moreso than into men’s. Not fond of huge, or frequent, social events, either.
It’s fairly indisputable that we are pack animals *by nature.* My millennia of nature, in fact.
Through our quirky, *individual* natures, though, there’s a big fat range of need/desire/ability to conform to that natural instinct. There’s a big fat range for practically every natural inclination in humanity.
Enjoying being alone (about where I fall, most of the time) is just a point on the spectrum.
We are engaging socially here, we animals of the Pack of the Men With Pens. It’s just that it’s kinda cold.
As Harry said, “It only makes sense that web workers and bloggers get out of their offices and venture out into the light of day to connect with people in the real world.”
Not to run with the pack daily, if that doesn’t suit the individual.
To brush hands; to watch eyes, instead of screens; to connect with and be lifted by the energy of spontaneous, in-person interactions.
IMHO.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post…Jumping on the Bandwagon
Need for social interaction does definitely vary between people and sometimes it can be due to family structure.
I have a lovely wife and four children. As the children are getting older, well, they’re a heck of a lot more fun than they were when they were just eating and pooping all the time.
Both my wife and I have said to each other a few times that it wouldn’t matter where we lived, because we have a strong family and we can go days – maybe even weeks sometimes – without seeing our “real-life” friends.
We basically have our own little tribe (or is it triiibe?)
Brett Legree´s last blog post…ultimate self-help tool – free for a limited time!
By millennia…
icky typos
Kelly´s last blog post…Jumping on the Bandwagon
@ Tony –
It was strongly implied that we need social interaction. Period. Yes. At the same level? I think that was your perception adding that in, because I don’t see any implication of levels anywhere.
Because it is.
The need varies, yes. Widely? No, I’m not prepared to say that. We’re a psychologically fucked up bunch of people, Tony, and our various issues affect our levels of interaction. The basic NEED that we’re born with, I feel, does not have wide variations. It is only as we grow into adults and get all screwed to hell that we create those variations for ourselves.
My opinion.
Many people can ’survive’. There are very few people that go without social interaction in a healthy way. Very few. IMO, again.
@james:
Then we simply disagree.
Not the first time, won’t be the last.. if everyone had the same opinion, talking would be unnecessary.
Tony Lawrence´s last blog post…New Banner Logo at APLawrence.com
*strums the guitar gently*
…So let’s leave it alone,
‘Cause we can’t see eye to eye.
There ain’t no good guy.
There ain’t no bad guy.
There’s only you and me and we just disagree.
*grin* I had a great time debating. Only you would rise to the challenge, give it a worthy shot and shake my hand at the end. Love it.
In anything, caution and balance.
I do enjoy social media networking and the “anonymous intimancy.”
Glad you enjoyed the WordCamp Las Vegas talk… just a point of clarification, I (Aaron Hockley) was the one who gave the talk you’re referencing, not Geoff.
Aaron! So sorry for that oversight, I think my notes got jumbled. There was so much great information crammed into one day it was hard keeping names and info all in line. Thanks for stopping by and setting the record straight, one correction coming right up!
This post has just tapped into a little plan that’s forming in my mind, so it’s good to hear that people do want to meet each other in ‘real life’ too!
I live on the lovely Spanish island of Mallorca. It’s a real creative hub and I’m considering setting up a Facebook group to establish a ‘new media’ network here. I’m going to see how it goes online and then try to get some offline drinks in the diary…
If you live here too, send me an email.
Helen Baker´s last blog post…How to alienate your Facebook audience
Helen-Mallorca? You live on Mallorca! I dream of visiting there.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post…Never Ending Brilliance
Hi Janice. Yes, it’s a lovely island; as an artist, you would certainly like it. There’s a lot squeezed into a small area!
Helen Baker´s last blog post…How to alienate your Facebook audience
It is on my list. And I’ll bring my brush.:-)
Janice Cartier´s last blog post…Never Ending Brilliance
Even though I use social networking for business mostly, I think it’s important to offer a personal touch. You can connect with people and foster relationships on topics outside of business, which is helpful.
I love networking very much. From Twitter to BlogCatalog, every networking sites are open doors to more opportunities beyond my imaginations. Networking to get new friends is as important as networking for business relationships.
Sarah´s last blog post…How Do You Keep Track of Time
If you use social media for business, then don’t just try and sell sell sell, you should try and build up trust, useful info your friends will buy more off you in the log run.
Social Networking are now used for linking and bringing traffic to the website instead of what it is intended to be.
I really love this post! It really speaks my mind. I never really realized the amazing impact the social sites can do to our lives, until last year when I started getting interested more and more in this issue, and I even think to buy-computers, something I’d never even thought of a few years back:-) Great Post!