Is Your Life a Runaway Train?
Alex is a good friend of mine, and I’m glad. He and I have this interesting synergy, where just a quick comment out of the blue from one of us sets off the professional radar of the other. I leap on this; he pounces on that. (No one gets hurt in the process.)
Recently, he pounced, and the result was this post. Read it. Print it. Stick it to your forehead if you have to. (You know who you are.) And, of course, enjoy.
If you know James, you know he’s a great guy and an awesome copywriter – but man, is he ever busy. Between running a business, responding to clients, writing posts for what seems like every major copywriting blog in existence, developing projects, and offering cool entrepreneur contests, the guy does not stop.
But he does want to slow down – and yet, he’s not. He’s still running full steam ahead.
He’s like most of you reading this post right now. Freelancers tend to be the busiest people alive, and even more so when they work in the fast-paced virtual world. Everything moves quickly, there are always projects on the go, and if you want to succeed, you have to be on top of everything – and then some.
Many of you are like James. You want to slow down too. You have families. Kids. Hobbies you used to enjoy. Plans. Dreams. Vacations you’d like to take. Some of you can’t even find time to read a book anymore.
How did this happen?
Momentum.
Yes, that’s right. You may have learned about momentum in physics class: an object in motion wants to stay in motion. (Check out Wikipedia for the full geeky explanation.)
Think about your life. You’ve been going full speed for a long time now, and you’re probably on a pretty clearly defined set of tracks, even if your life feels crazy.
You don’t think, you just go. And you keep going. You’ve set the direction, picked up speed and it doesn’t matter what happens around you; your train is on its tracks and can’t stop now. Full steam ahead!
Eventually, however, you start realizing you’re running out of power. You need to refuel. The problem is that you’re so used to whipping past the stations that stopping might be dangerous.
If you apply the brakes too quickly, all the freight cars behind you are going to pile up and crush you. So you need to finesse your slow-down and try to coast into the station without causing a wreck.
How? What brake pressure do you apply? You don’t know. You haven’t touched the brakes in a really long time.
Do they even work?
You need to find that station where you can slow down, coast in, pause, refuel and regroup. You need to determine where you are actually taking all these freight cars and how many of them you really want to pull.
But you can’t stop, or you’ll create that pileup.
Worse, you’ve also realized that if you don’t stop soon, you’re going to run out of energy. Everything will grind to a halt. You’ll be in the middle of nowhere with no chance to refuel.
What can you do? You’re on a runaway train, you have no idea if the brakes work, and you don’t know whether you’ll end up with a pileup or out of fuel in the middle of nowhere.
Do you really want to burn out? Because if you don’t stop, that is exactly where you’re heading. What good will you be to anyone if that happens, especially to yourself?
First: TAKE YOUR HAND OFF THE THROTTLE. Stop giving the train power without hitting the brakes. Applying the brakes and the throttle at the same time will just cause the engine to seize up in a nasty way. Don’t take on any new projects. Finish the ones you have. Start coasting instead of pushing on full speed ahead.
Second: Test the brake gently. Just ever so softly, touch the brake pedal to see if it works. Give one tiny little piece of your normal day to someone else. Testing the brakes when you haven’t touched them in a long time is going to feel scary. It means trusting others to get it done and to do it right, but you need to because you can’t do it all yourself. (And quite honestly, the world won’t end if the task isn’t done to your exacting standards.) Remember, you’re just testing the brakes; you’re not slamming down hard on them.
Third: Pull out a map. Figure out the location of the best refueling station that will allow you to slow down your runaway train carefully. In other words, don’t just hit the brakes and stop doing what you’re doing or ditch the train. Get a plan together to reach the refueling station and follow it.
Lots of people live balanced lives. Most trains stop at every station and many even go offline for service. Other trains substitute for them during maintenance breaks. There are no derailed trains or pileups.
And in the process, you might even realize you don’t like trains. You might want to get off and go try a plane or a boat, or maybe you want to hire someone to drive the train while you admire the scenery at the station for a while.
This post was brought to you by Alex Fayle, who specializes in slowing down speeding trains, helping people read maps and making sure they coast in for a refuel without derailing off the tracks. Even better, he helps people lighten their freight and find new tracks heading to better places. Learn how to drive your train at Alex’s site, Someday Syndrome.
33 Responses to “Is Your Life a Runaway Train?”
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Enjoyed this post, I’m sure plenty of freelancers can relate to this.
I suppose the ultimate goal is, as you’ve said, to find someone else to drive your train so you can enjoy other things whilst still reaching your destination. I’m in the early days of my practice so I’m very hands on with al my projects, but i’ve got my eyes on being able to hand over bits and pieces here and there to free up my time (and keep working on projects I really love!)
You have to be in charge of your own momentum because burn out just isn’t good!
Amy Harrison´s last blog post…Jack Bauer Would Love Twitter Search – It’s The Real Time Updates
I am making a conscious effort to spend time with my little ones whilst they are still little, and I am happier for it. …… so are they.
Still can’t stop thinking of that next project as soon as I have started one though.
guy´s last blog post…All fun and games until someone loses an eye
oh and there is a dodgy tag on the end of the link to alex’s site
guy´s last blog post…All fun and games until someone loses an eye
Indeed there was, Guy – fixed, and thanks!
As always, a really great post from Alex. And a good reminder that life does not need to be lived at full speed. Why do I keep getting that message just recently?
Joely Black´s last blog post…Changing your life is an extreme sport
Great ideas, Alex. No one plans on crashing, yet it happens so often. It seems we are constantly struggling with setting priorities and time management around here. Preventative maintenance is always a good thing.
Jamie Simmerman´s last blog post…Why SEO Is Worth Your Time
Great analogy. I’m slowly adding the brakes to my train by rediscovering my love of bikes with my love of LA. My train is slowing down a little, and slowly, I’m finding time to stop and enjoy the scenery.
Plus, I love trains. Sometimes the slow momentum can really be quite relaxing………………..:)
LisaNewton´s last blog post…A Day for Talking Bikes
Hi Alex – this is great advice. I used to be a runaway train and I wound up crashing. It’s so easy to start off without knowing where you want to wind up.
It’s easy to set business goals but if you don’t know what you want your life to be like too, you wind up hitting problems. I found myself working with numbers being my only goal and I wasn’t enjoying the rest of my life at all.
It’s a matter of having healthy boundaries, personal, emotional, and even professional. Without them either we won’t feel okay about saying “that’s enough” or when we do the people we’ve attracted as friends and clients won’t understand because we didn’t have these boundaries already in place when they met us.
Terry Heath´s last blog post…Writing Lessons From the Sidewalk
I agree, awesome analogy!
most well meaning entrepreneurs have poor vision when it comes to seeing the oncoming wreck.
Thanks for the help.
Besos
Elaine
This is so true. I have spent most of a rare and precious weekend off looking at my ‘To Do’ list and the timescales I had put on with increasing despair at my own stupidity in trying to do so much in so short a space of time.
This post could not have been more timely in reminding me that I do not have the luxury that all self employed / freelancers think that we have. In common with the rest of the planet we only have 24 hours in a day and nothing we can do will make that stretch to the 36 or so that we think we have.
I have taken a step back and reworked my schedules into something more sensible, and I suspect it will be far more productive as I won’t spend so much time worrying about what I haven’t done!
Thank You….
flaminglacer´s last blog post…West Midlands MeetUp
Speaking as someone who finally got to read the entire Sunday paper ON Sunday yesterday…this sounds potentially like the California Zephyr….smooth riding from coast to coast with interesting stops along the way.
Funny , you should use this analogy, Alex, I used to get on the streetcar regularly, just to feel its pace… you know pause, let the driver drive as we rattled along the tracks under the oaks, or get off and take a walk.
If we are so busy getting there, how can we enjoy where there is?
Janice Cartier´s last blog post…Artistic License
Wonderful post! I solve the runaway train syndrome very simply – I tell my family, Mom is going to crash and burn for a few hours, and they say, Jeepers mom, have some soup first and we’ll come and tickle you and then we’ll bring the mooses to play with you and then you can take a nap!
A few hours of deep sleep will cure anything! The family is now used to Mom’s oddness, and simply take over running everything until I re-emerge.
Oh, and coffee helps too.
Barbara
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog post…The Magnificent Kindness Diet
LOL! This post couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. Thanks, Alex.
James – Are you paying attention?
Nicole Brunet´s last blog post…A Place in My Mind
Amy: Or at least that you have someone who can the controls while you rest. Engine drivers always get holidays – they aren’t tied to the controls. Unlike most freelancers/small business people feel.
BTW, yay to looking to hand stuff off!
Guy: Good for you for knowing that kids are to enjoy now, not later – you don’t want to be a living example of Cat’s in the Cradle after all.
Joely: Your messages all come at once don’t they? It’s like the universe thinks you need to be hit from several angles at once, eh?
Jamie: I suppose crash test dummies plan on crashing, or those guys from Mythbusters, but yeah it’s not a good plan if we want to have a long career (or life!).
Lisa: Yay to the cycling! I too love trains. Honestly riding the train places was one of the main draws to move to Europe.
Cath: Glad you survived the wreck! In my organizing business, I ended up reducing clients to numbers and that’s when I realized I needed to get off that particular train. It was going where I didn’t want it to.
Terry: Boundaries! Oh boy, boundaries between the various areas of our lives is for another post. Look @James! Another guest post topic!
Elaine: And we’re working on changing that, eh?
Flaminglacer: If you could create a 36 hour day, I think you wouldn’t need to freelance.
Good for you for recognizing the need to slow down and stretch out your time lines rather than trying to cram it all in.
Janice: Ooh, the Sunday paper on Sunday? How decadent! I love trains and other land public transit for that reason. I can enjoy the ride instead of having to drive.
Barbara: If you have a system that works, then yay! My mother used to retreat to the bath with a book. Of course that never stopped all of us walking in to talk to her (the drawback of a no-lock policy and a large bathroom).
Nicole: The timing is exactly why you and I talking.
And James had better be listening!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…Get rid of your somedays: personalized help now available
Yes, yes, dearlings, James is listening… Alex should become the resident life coach for freelancers, I think.
This analogy summed up my life quite perfectly, and I *know* that it fits the profile of many other freelancers out there. I’m certainly by no means alone.
We get caught up in the speed of things, we have need, desires and goals pushing at us from behind, we have blisters on our hands from squeezing that throttle to keep going, and we *know* that we need to refuel.
But damn. The fear of that impending wreck if we hit the brakes – and the fear of the wreck if we fall asleep at the wheel – is incredible. Besides, sometimes we look around and say, “Someone? Anyone? Please?” but no one has Train Driving 101, so we’re very alone.
I enjoyed Alex’s solutions, especially that they *didn’t* tell me to, “Just stop, James!” That piece of common-sense advice is terribly well-intentioned and the most foolish piece of cockamanie I’ve ever heard in my life.
You *can’t* just stop. You have a friggin’ train wreck if you do. And only those who drive trains GET that.
Alex gave me a plan. Take the time to slow down, even if it’s a six-month plan (like mine). Plot a course. Figure out gentle brake-tappings. No need to ‘just stop, James’. Coast a bit. Relax.
Mmhm.
I am of two minds about this –
1. EVERY successful person I have ever heard speak has said they worked crazy ridiculous hours to start and if they had to do it again they would have taken more time off. BUT I have never heard a successful person say they coasted for the first couple of years and then everything miraculously come together.
2. Where is the turnover? When can you say you have succeeded and be able to change over to a little more coast and a little less throttle?
Tara Jacobsen´s last blog post…What is database marketing? Solving small business marketing problems!
Great stuff, Alex.
Sometimes the train is moving so fast, I can’t see the forest for all of the darned trees in the way.
Does kinda remind me of a saying, though. “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.” I guess we are busy people.
Cheers
George
Tumblemoose´s last blog post…Spread your writing wings, it’s bittersweet
@ Tara – Good questions, and here are my thoughts on that.
Yes, you have to work hard the first few years. But how hard? Where is the limit? Most people have no idea/clue, and all they hear is about how THAT guy worked 90-hour weeks. So that must be right, so they have to work 90-hour weeks too. Then they tell others that THEY have to work 90-hour weeks to be successful. It’s a myth that spreads itself around and in a nasty, nasty way.
No. People do NOT have to work 90-hour weeks to reach success, even great success. AND, most extremely successful people don’t work that much regardless.
They work HARD, yes. They do not work ALL the time.
Also, Alex isn’t suggesting that anyone should coast the first few years. He’s saying “When you’re going to lose your freakin’ mind and have a burnout, coast down. Refuel, and then start to get back busy again if you want.”
For turnover, success is subjective and personal. Success, for me, means something very different than what it might be for you. Some people want to live comfortably. Some want wealth. Some want power, or money, or fame. You have to know what you want to achieve before you start to head out after it.
If you’re going to burn out, that’s time to take your hand off the throttle – whether you’ve reached success or not.
Thanks, James and Alex. I’m not a freelancer, but I used to be the person who never says no and always helps out. Then, wham! I was diagnosed with two serious, stress-related illnesses at the same time.
Radical changes had to be made just in order to keep my job, because I was so sick. It was pretty easy to justify to people because my autoimmune illnsess could be deadly. That was 19 years ago, and although one of the illnesses is in remission, I’m still leaning on the illness explanation. One of these days I’ll have to learn to set boundaries and say “no” without using the illness as a reason. Alex has given me some ideas for that.
Dot´s last blog post…Under the Weather
Hi, Alex,
What a fun, but sadly true, post! It’s hard to pry away from the computer and all that’s waiting to be done. It just keep piling up! With the nice weather that’ll soon be here, I plan on hopping off the old train for a few minutes–or few hours–and taking in the scenery, instead of just watching it pass by with a blur….
Michele´s last blog post…Confessions from an Amish Farm
I realized long ago that I would much rather make less money as a writer if it meant spending more time with my husband!
Katherine´s last blog post…Computers, Newspapers, and Barbie Dolls
What a brilliant analogy – and an important reminder! I look at my workload and think I can’t afford to take a day or two off, yet when I took a 10-day vacation in the midst of a large project, the world didn’t come to an end.
Janet Barclay´s last blog post…Develop Organizing Strategies for Your Personality Type
Alex, thanks for the eye opener this morning. I now exactly what you mean about the train. I am going to be 50 this year and I don’t have a clue where the last 20 years went except to say I have been doing everything I can to keep my train (the family) on track. It seems like every year it is harder and harder to keep the same speed up let alone get ahead.
I think these economic times will force a lot of us to really look at what track we are on and how many cars we are willing to pull. It has become physically and financially impossible to keep up with the schedules we have set for ourselves and I don’t think that is really a bad thing.
We need to get to a simpler lifestyle not only for us but also for our dieing planet. Both we and Earth can’t continue to sustain these maddening lifestyles.
Thanks for the train analogy. It really puts things in perspective.
Andy@no carb foods´s last blog post…No Carb Food For Dieting
Tara: I always wonder about that one too and like James I believe that there are multiple routes to success and multiple levels of success. For example, I’m looking for moderate success that gives me a decent income without ever getting on the speeding train. The journey will take longer, but I’ll enjoy it a heck of a lot more.
James: One thing about burnout – the ideal situation would be to avoid reaching that feeling ever and for new businesses to start off knowing that they’ll stop at every station and pace themselves.
Dot: Glad I could help. Saying no is so difficult at times. I used to feel so guilty saying no, but then I realized that if I said no someone else would say yes and the world wouldn’t end. Basically we’re not that important.
Michelle: Yes, the work will always be there no matter how hard you try to bring the pile down. Much better to pace yourself and not worry about “finishing it all” because there is no end.
Katherine: Exactly! My time with my bf is infinitely more rewarding than sitting in front of the computer working. The trick is in finding the balance.
Janet: It’s amazing how much more accommodating people are towards us than we are to ourselves. Clients understand the need to take a vacation. They take vacations, so why not you? We’re no so important as to be indispensable.
Andy: You got it – I believe our whole culture is on a speeding train. The current ‘crisis’ is an indication that we’re running out of fuel (literally!) but no one wants to apply the brakes (instead we just throw more fuel into the fire – i.e. bailout money). I’m a fan of steady state economics myself – it would benefit everyone and allow for scenery enjoyment.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…Why cleaning is more interesting than writing
That is so true, Alex! It’s why I love focusing on small goals instead of the whole picture–it gets to be overwhelming if I don’t.
Thanks again for a lovely post.
*smiles*
Michele
Michele´s last blog post…Confessions from an Amish Farm
Michelle:
I’m normally a big picture person, but then I get way overwhelmed by the details. When that happens I pull myself back totally into the present and just enjoy the process.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post…Making suckiness good: Lab Rats Week 1