Should You Tell People Their Blog Design is Ugly?
We recently received an anonymous email that had us both cheering – and puzzled.
Readers recently inspired our regular feature of Drive-By-Shooting Sundays after we did a few fast reviews in the comment section of our post on Tips for Creating a Great Theme Design. Readers loved the quick advice and the objective view of professionals blended with the fun of a drive-by analogy.
There is solid advice behind our fun and fast tips. Many new bloggers and website owners don’t have the money or the know-how to pull off a simple, attractive design that helps their business.
We see it every day. Tons of great blogs neglect good looks in favor of great content and dress themselves with ugliness or poor layouts. Content is King, but the Emperor needs good clothes. A nice design can shoot you into better success and sometimes save you from failure.
So that’s why we cheered when we received this anonymous comment:
Wish you had a way to anonymously and gently suggest your Drive-by-Sunday-shootings for well-meaning but UGLY and improvable blogs that we come across while reading the comments of your (and other smart blogs) commentators… without offending anyone.
I mean really, telling the charming person seated next to you at the dinner party that they have BO means you’ll never feel comfortable in THAT crowd again (if you get invited back!).
But YOU GUYS have balls, and it can seem like you’re just passing through and helping… ya know, since you do that.
The author has a very good point. There are many blogs out there that could achieve better success – but their owners don’t ask for help or advice or a quick review. Also, many people have trouble accepting constructive criticism as suggestions for improvement.
Improvement is the point. As the author of the email implied, many blogs are ugly but have good content. Their image is hurting them, but they can be made better. They have a chance. They can achieve stronger readership and higher success… if only owners made the investment.
Most investment doesn’t even involve money. Dropping a widget, moving a column, changing colors… Most bloggers can make these changes. And if they can’t, the cost of hiring someone to help is often far more affordable than people realize.
What I realized is that we have our Comment Luv feature to thank for the issue at hand. This anonymous email proves that Comment Luv works. Readers are clicking through to read more from commentators. Commentators gain traffic and new subscribers or maybe even business.
But what then? How many blog designs cause missed opportunities? How many people click through and then click away? How many potential clients are lost because of an ugly design?
This leaves us in a quandary. The author suggests that, as helpful people (thank you; we do try), we should perhaps contact blog owners in private.
Should we? Is it rude to offer unsolicited advice, even if we send it gently through private email communication? Would we hurt feelings more than we helped people?
And who are we to carry out this suggestion? Is it right for us to be the White Knights of the Blogosphere, slaying ugly sites to allow growth of what we feel is beautiful? Is it right that because we’re ballsy and vocal, we should be the ones to do the dirty job?
Well, I suppose so, yes. Someone has to do it, right?
Then there is the question of our time. We like to help others – but free advice doesn’t feed our families or pay our rent. A drive-by review can take minutes or an hour to write up. That’s lost wages – and we already work many unbillable hours as is.
So what should we do? What do you feel is right and wrong? Should we be the ones to speak up because others cannot? (And we understand that; really, we do.)
If your blog were the ugly one in question, would you appreciate unsolicited and unexpected recommendations, even if they were sent in a private email? Do you feel people have the right to challenge poor designs or suggest improvements?
Let us know. Discuss.
87 Responses to “Should You Tell People Their Blog Design is Ugly?”
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If my site’s ugly…would you tell me? I mean seriously, check out sciencebase.com and let me know…
db
David Bradley’s last blog post..Spying on the Chemical Spy
I actually had feedback once from a web developer that visited my blog. He liked the content, but didn’t like the colors I chose. He explained why, and added some other tips that were quite useful.
I could’ve been annoyed, but (as I like feedback) chose to take another look at my site and could see his point. In the end we emailed back and forth a couple of times, and I adjusted some things. In my own way, but inspired by that feedback. He did leave an opening by suggesting that if I need a webdesigner one day, he was available for freelance work
I have emailed others out of the blue, suggesting some changes to blog design, although that was more code-related. What I found is that it’s usually a lot easier if you have a connection with the blogger beforehand. If you know eachother a little, than it’s easier to accept.
But whatever you do, don’t leave your feedback in the comments! That’s a bit nasty…
Lodewijk van den Broek’s last blog post..7 Little Timesaving Tips for the Workplace
I would prefer to have someone tell me that my site is ugly than let me lose readers (or business, if I had that kind of blog)! It really matters how you say it though. I would probably ignore someone who came and said, “Your blog is ugly!” and then left, but if someone were to say, here’s what I don’t like, and here’s why, then I would really appreciate the advice.
But then, I grew up believing that if someone gives you constructive criticism, then they care enough about you to want to help you succeed. So of course, I always LOVED getting corrections from my (usually dance) teachers.
@ David – I LOVE your RSS button! I seriously keep clicking back just to look at it. Gosh it’s adorable!
@ Lodewijk – I always feel bad giving feedback, unless I know the person is encouraging it. But I do agree… it definitely helps when you know the blogger beforehand! You have an awesome name, but quick question… how do you pronounce your first name? I know I’m probably butchering it horribly!
What? It’s the middle of the night for me. 2:40 am. I should not be held accountable for anything I say that makes absolutely no sense.
*yawn* Off to bed… see you all in the morning!
Allison’s last blog post..It’s Your Time To Shine!
@ David – You’re safe, dude. That’s a nice, clean, simple site. And I’ll second Allison – that’s the best RSS button I’ve ever seen.
@ Lode – Ha, you hit on one thing that people should NEVER do. Never, ever, ever leave a public comment about the looks of someone’s site. That’s like saying, “Hey dude! Great post – and you have toilet paper stuck to your ass. Look, everyone!”
@ Allison – Losing business or readers is a big one. But as you mentioned, should you only give feedback out of the blue when it’s someone you know and care about?
Many thanks guys, votes of confidence are always welcome. Speaking of toilet matters though, you don’t think the RSS guy looks like he’s sitting on the bog, then? It must be working though, site reached a peak today with 3022 subscribers.
db
David Bradley’s last blog post..Spying on the Chemical Spy
@ David – Of course he does. That’s his first initial charm. Then the second glance shows that we’re the ones with immature, childish minds laughing over crapper jokes, because he’s just relaxing on a chair.
Kind of like the way people read “Men with Penis”. It’s a brain blip that actually works in favor of being memorable by attracting a second glance.
I guess if the feedback is made in a positive and constructive way, it’s always good to get or give.
When you get some, you obviously need to get very humble for a minute or two in order to see if the feedback is motivated and if there’s anything valuable in it. Then you need to to put it in perspective : I’ve already received useless feedback from people who didn’t know anything about my business or personnality, and just wanted to brag about their supposed design knowledge or take a stab at me.
When you give some, you also need to be humble about what you say, you probably don’t have the whole picture in mind. I once told a client that their logo really sucked (not in so many words, thank god), and she finally told me that her late husband drew it just before he passed away… What could I answer to that, huh ?
But then you also need to assess your professionalism : if I take a step and give you some feedback, it’s because I know what I’m talking about and would like to share my knowledge with you.
Well, I guess it’s always difficult to give or receive feedback anyway, but I think it’s what helps us get better, one way or another
Thanks James for that great article !
@ James – Why the difficult questions in the middle of the night? Why?
I think sometimes you can tell from peoples’ writing whether they are very uptight, or more laid back and open to feedback. In those cases, it is easy to figure out how they would react to it.
I don’t think you have to know the person in order to give them feedback. Maybe not everyone will appreciate it, but I don’t think it can hurt too much. But in terms of having to care about them… I would think that the fact that you take the time to give them feedback says that you care about them to a certain extent. Maybe not in the way that you’ll send them a card for their birthday or call out of the blue to cheer them up, but in the way that you want them to do well, and have a better chance than that which they would have if they kept the old design.
Did that make sense? I’m reading it over again and getting a little confused, so I’m just going to submit it and hope you get what I’m trying to say.
Allison’s last blog post..It’s Your Time To Shine!
Heheheh. Maybe if I add a little dangling chain…?
If I had the skills, I’d animate him and have him walking off with a tag of bog roll stuck to his shoe.
db
David Bradley’s last blog post..Spying on the Chemical Spy
@ David – I’ve just been giggling for the last five minutes about that. Either you are incredibly funny, or I really need sleep. Or both. I think it’s both.
Bog… is that a British term? (Yeah, I had a peek at your about page) I’ve never heard the term before!
Allison’s last blog post..It’s Your Time To Shine!
To answer your questions directly you could mix one free advice and add a link to your Drive By service (including the links to more lucrative, for you, consulting).
Yes it’s advertisement, but personalized advertisement.
I think it could work and be worth your time.
The Chatty DM’s last blog post..(Really)Mini-Post: A GM’s Authority
I do try…and I can usually avoid anything untoward sticking to my own shoes.
db
David Bradley’s last blog post..Spying on the Chemical Spy
@Allison: Lodewijk is pronounced as Low – duh – waik. But you can shorten it to Lode
There’s more about my name on my about page. I get quite some questions about it.
@David: My first thought about the rss-icon was that the dude was sitting on a toilet too. I wonder if it’s a male bias to see that first
However Men-with-Penis is not an association I make… but it’s funny. Pretty skillful if you can do that deliberately!
I guess that you should be a little masochistic to like feedback. Sometimes it stings, sometimes it’s rotten, but mostly it’s an opportunity to learn. Every piece of feedback holds a lesson, even the nasty “Your site is plain ugly!”. It may not hold value in itself, but it’ll learn you to build some confidence and discard some people’s opinions to the wastebin
I hear that getting to the frontpage of Digg is a great way to get those kind of comments! Can’t tell from first hand experience tho…unfortunately not
Lodewijk van den Broek’s last blog post..7 Little Timesaving Tips for the Workplace
James,
Once Upon a Time, a Man with a Pen did a drive-by shooting on an unexpecting victim. She survived just fine, but she’s of the artsy type who’s had to fight rooms of thirteen contentious professors to get her degree, so she’s pretty tough. In fact, it kind of made her laugh. A mere flesh wound.
I think the Dear-Abby-like nature of the question reveals the answer. You wouldn’t do that at a party, and you have no need to be the avenging knights of ugly in an email, either. You’ve got a long list of folks wanting paid and unpaid help. If people don’t, they don’t. Simple. I think it can hurt some feelings, whether it opens their eyes or not. If every time I went into a store with a layout that’s a crime and told them, well… I wouldn’t make people happy to see me any more. Plus that’s what I have a blog for. Most of my posts (and yours) are inspired by the Client du Jour, or the Client Who Doesn’t Get It, the One That Got Away, or the One Who Never Got Close. If you drop enough references to things that “may” be going on at “some” blogs, you’ve done your duty.
Besides which, this is a thriving community of commenters. That’s what you want people here for. There’s no sign on the door that says Beautiful Bloggers Only.
‘Nuff for now.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Noise Is Essential
@ Lode – Very awesome. That sounds so much cooler than how I was trying to pronounce it! Kind of just rolls off your tongue…
I think it is a guy thing.
I never made that Men-with-Penis connection, but when my boyfriend glanced over at my screen, that’s what he thought it said!
Kotaku is another good place to get comments like that. Although generally I get more of those kinds of comments from my posts, rather than my site design…
Allison’s last blog post..It’s Your Time To Shine!
As for me personally, I’ve said it before: I’m not a graphic designer, and I don’t want to be one when I grow up. Any advice I can get in that area is cool.
Doesn’t mean I’ll follow it all, but it’s still useful.
Now… I think that you can offer constructive criticism in two different ways:
If the victim agrees (as did I in my drive-by, for example) you do it publicly. It’s like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Kinda. Sorta. More or less. You get the idea.
If it’s unsolicited, you do it via e-mail. You say, “Hey, free advice, take it or leave it, but here’s what I think.” It’s akin to pulling the guy at the party with BO aside into the cloak room and saying, “Dude. You’ve got an odor. I’ve got some extra cologne here, would you like it?”
Bob Younce at the Writing Journey’s last blog post..I don’t normally do this. Really.
True, what Kelly said. You probably have enough people here who really want your critiques, rather than spend time on people who haven’t asked ever so nicely for them.
Okay, NOW I’m going to sleep. I’m starting to not make sense… I almost wrote techniques instead of critiques… no idea why. See you all considerably later in the day! Don’t anyone burn the blog down while I’m gone.
Allison’s last blog post..It’s Your Time To Shine!
@ Bob – I refuse to be Carson. Or Jai. Or Thom. Sorry. Ted’s cool though. So’s Kyan. Could I still listen to Kid Rock, drink, smoke and wear jeans and sneakers and shit like that?
Hm. This now has me wondering… who would actually put up their hand and say, “ME! I want to be Carson! Pick ME!”
@ James – All too easy.
I knew that comment would draw you out.
On an unrelated topic… damn, I miss smoking. We quit (again) in early March. Camping season starts soon, though, and it’s hell hard to sit around the campfire with a Molson (that’s Canadian for Busch Light, right?) without firing one up.
Bob Younce at the Writing Journey’s last blog post..I don’t normally do this. Really.
Wouldn’t bother me a bit. Like Bob Younce above, I know where my talents lie and where they don’t.
Aside from that, it’s just opinion. There are things I don’t like about your blog design.. so why would I get upset if you didn’t like something about mine?
Next, there’s necessity (real or perceived). You might think a certain thing I do is “wrong” but I may feel that I simply need it regardless of any aesthetic offense it might give. Or it might have sentimental value to me: nobody likes my logo graphic but it’s been part of me for too many years to give up.
Finally, it may not matter: Darren Rowse has a plug-ugly blog.
Apropos of this, my wife just walked in and burst out laughing at the clothes I had thrown on this morning. Apparently the colors clash a teeny bit
Tony Lawrence’s last blog post..iStatPro and Antec CPU Cooler by Anthony Lawrence
Well, if it was me, I’d welcome the constructive criticism, so I’d say “yes, go ahead and do it” – but as you say then, you have to make certain that there is a return on your time investment.
Personally, having seen what you guys can do with a theme design, I’d say you’d likely get a lot of new customers. I’m so happy with the theme you created for me
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the view from the other side.
@allison
It’s not a guy thing – I never saw the penis thing but my wife walked by one day when I had this on the screen, stopped, jerked her head back and said “Men with WHAT??”
Tony Lawrence’s last blog post..iStatPro and Antec CPU Cooler by Anthony Lawrence
And I thought the men’s drive by shooting is just another link-bait strategy!
Just kidding! It’s great that you guys take the time to check out and offer constructive criticism,without asking anything in return. I had someone did a drive-by my website once and it was a positive experience.
It’s a great service guys, keep it up!
Rudy’s last blog post..All Grown Up
It’s not a guy thing. I’m afraid I saw it right away when they did the redesign. I assumed it was intentional, tongue-in-cheek.
I like Carson. He’s sweet.
It’s not that constructive criticism when requested isn’t cool, y’know, it’s just that opening an innocent email to find you’ve been bashed, however gently, when you didn’t ask, would kind of put a pallor on the day. “These people I compliment all day long on their awesome writing took time out of their day to tell me my bad points.” (Yah, yah, improvable. Still… ouch.)
That, and I keep hearing about overly busy Pen Men. Where are you carving out the extra hours for this, and why?
Tony, I love this one: “You might think a certain thing I do is ‘wrong’ but I may feel that I simply need it regardless of any aesthetic offense it might give.” Aesthetic offense! Brilliant! (Darren’s new design is way better than the old one.)
To get involved in other people’s blogs, comment on posts. Which I know you already do in many places. If you ever write a post asking about your design, we’ll tell you (like when you first switched, a couple of gentle nudges were offered). If others write a post asking about their design, you’ll be right there. Seems about right to me…
Later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Noise Is Essential
Note to James: Quit talking about being busy – you’re creating a negative perception.
@ Kelly – The why is relatively easy. We receive requests for help from many people who have been burned by poor writers or poor designers. We receive requests from people who want to have a business but somehow, it isn’t working. People need help, they don’t know where to go, they don’t realize what they’re doing has negative impact, they’re scared of being taken for a ride…
All those reasons. We truly want to help people. This is why the situation raises some questions and our concerns over what to do. If we didn’t want to help people and just pad our wallets, we wouldn’t have this blog, we wouldn’t offer our advice freely and we probably would be happily living a life of “let’s see who we can screw for money today.”
Big work ethics, baby. That’s what it’s all about. We want people to feel good, be happy, be successful, be better, change, improve… all those things. That’s what makes us feel good and makes every minute of our day worth doing.
I do feel uncomfortable coming along and telling people things unsolicited. I hadn’t really thought about it twice until I met you. What I’d done in fun, impulsively and to be innocently helpful didn’t pan out as I’d expected – and that’s okay. I learn the hard way, and never because I tried to do something I shouldn’t have.
I think the question that surrounds the issue is whether it’s right to reach out to help people when they don’t expect it, want it or realize they need it. I wonder many times about the people that have done that for me in unsuspecting ways – did they know I needed help? Why did they help? Where would I be today if they hadn’t?
And I’m grateful for those who did reach out when I didn’t expect it.
Personally, I’m of two minds about unsolicited advice. We receive it every now and then (“hey, a link is broken; hey, did you know there was a typo? hey, this doesn’t work right; hey, your submit button is really fucking ugly, can you make it pretty?”) and we patch things up right away, because we’re in business. A good presentation is crucial.
On the other hand, I’ve had people email me and criticize something – and then ask for a job.
Um, that is the worst way to endear yourself to a potential employer. I don’t suggest it.
Hey James,
As the “next in line” for a drive-by this weekend, I obviously prefer to have people tell me what they think. But I’m not sure if I would like it if someone reviewed my site and *posted* it on a blog without telling me about it first.
I strongly believe that criticism needs to be asked for, especially if it is going to be a public piece. But on that note, there’s nothing wrong with you dropping an email and asking if they would mind…
~Graham
Graham Strong’s last blog post..Part II: How to Get Yourself Off Email Blacklists
Should you feel inclined and have the time I would love to solicit your advice on how I could make my ugly blog more successful.
Thank You.
Grizzly’s last blog post..What are Hubpages?
I was one of your victims and took it with a grain of salt. I somewhat agree with Lawrence when he says “it is a matter of opinion” which it clearly is. Only today I’ve had another bloggers emailing me stating how they love my design. Unless of course they read your review and take the piss at me.
Even though I was shocked, I know it is time for a make over. I feel that I have outgrown my blog and as a former teenager who would arrange her room around every month I’ve done pretty good with this design so far.
I even know what I want to base it on and need some modifications done.
The people who get upset at constructive criticism are those who are not ready to accept another opinion and in some ways I understand them too. But in the bigger scheme of things it can only be a helping push in the right direction.
@ David: wow, Allison’s comment made me click straight to your blog and I have to second opinions on this being the best RSS button I have ever seen. Do you lease them out by chance, or is there a cool designer you could put me in touch with who can do a custom one for me (perhaps a writer sitting in a hammock).
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..Freelance Writing Guide For New Freelancers
@David: Yours is the second site I’ve seen with that RSS and I still have the same reaction each time I see it: It makes me laugh.
@everyone else: nearly 30 comments before 9 am EST? Have you all been drinking James’ jet fuel this morning?
Personally, comments on the design, just as any other aspect of my blog, are fine by me. That’s what comments are for, after all.
In the past I’ve sent email to a couple of blog authors pointing out display problems on their blog. Not quite the same problem and I wasn’t involved in promoting blog design in any way, but these were well received.
Gary’s last blog post..Learn Your Guitar Fretboard, Root – 5th intervals
@ David: oh my, that RSS button is *awesome*!
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the view from the other side.
@ Grizzly: hey, what do you need more success for buddy.
Are you taking the mickey or are you serious. LOL. 1.April joke ey. Hehehe…
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..Freelance Writing Guide For New Freelancers
I was persuaded to go check out the RSS button and now I’m all envious, because I swear it was all I could DO to get mine to function properly. That little dude is adorable. I think he looks like he’s sitting on the crapper initially because his newspaper is so big. In, you know, that adorably out-of-proportion way.
Gods, I may just have to sit here and contemplate the cute for awhile.
::sigh::
Okay. I think what everyone’s been saying here is spot-on. I have seen numerous strangers with spinach in their teeth, their dress tucked into their undies, with their fly undone, and every time, they were extremely grateful that I took them a pace or two away and told them about it in a quiet, “Hey, no big deal,” sort of voice. I think for bloggers this goes double, because everyone assumes that you know that it looks stupid to have your fly down and only needed a friendly stranger to tell you about it, but NOT everyone assumes that you know your banner is bad color for the web.
When a friendly stranger comes up and tells us about it, in that soft, “Hey, just thought you should know,” sort of voice, it’s almost like getting us in on the inside joke. It’s like Men with Pens thinks we’re as good as they are, they just know we left in a hurry and forgot that our logo sucks, or our layout’s all weird, or whatever. This is them saying, “It’s cool. You remain an awesome person. Just go get the spinach out of your teeth and the AdSense out of your blog, and come back to the party, and we’ll all forget about it in five minutes.”
Unless, you know, they drive-by you. ‘Cause then it’s in the archives FOREVER.
Tei’s last blog post..Client seeking for the rest of us.
@ Tei – Ah, yes, but after we drive-by and people come up with something new and brilliant, then come back and say, “SEE, assholes? I CAN look good. AND increase my business.”
And we lift our beer and say, “Of course you can. That’s why we mentioned it; we knew you could do it. Now grab a beer and come hang out with us.”
(Your comment made me laugh my ass off, by the way.)
Cheers, everyone!
Is it bad that it’s 9:15 in the morning here, and I just straggled out of bed and I have my pajamas on and I have to write us some on-spec samples of SEO articles over the next hour and I could really sort of use some oatmeal or something and the first thing I thought when I looked at this comment was:
“Gods. A beer sounds pretty good right now.”
???
I’m going to hell, aren’t I. I am. ::sigh:: At least I made James laugh, first.
Tei’s last blog post..Client seeking for the rest of us.
James,
*Kelly furrows brow*
Hmm, didn’t pan out as expected? I’m a complete MWP fan, thought your writing and opinions were great before and after. I should do more?
You’re a hard Pen to figure, Monsieur.
Not the why of helping people, the why of unsolicited email. I know why you help people, you’re two big hearted dudes with lots more to say than clients to say it to, due to the 24 hours in a day constraint. That’s what good business blogging is all about.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Noise Is Essential
@ Kelly – No, I’m half-French, which means that my brain works in mysterious ways and does not always aid me to convey my point correctly.
“Didn’t pan out as expected” means “I hurt your feelings and felt very sad about that.” Or at least, that’s how it appeared to me.
And you just made my day with that beautiful compliment. I have warm fuzzies in a big way and may need Kleenex now.
Personal hygiene notes do seem to go over better if that’s not your opening gambit with a stranger, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder (as well as a cultural thing) so there’s a risk of giving offence where only good intentions are, uh, intended. And what of those fine folks who have ugly blogs where the fixing thereof is beyond their control – no names, but I can think of a couple of team blogs that fit that bill. And then, there are those whose blogs don’t match their personal taste, but seem to fit the taste of their readers… A more beautiful blogosphere is much to be desired, but – Ah, it’s a great sticky morass, the offering of unsolicited design advice, no matter how expert or well-intentioned!
Just as a point of interest…the original little guy reading on the bog, didn’t have the RSS in the corner of his outsized paper, but without it, exactly what the graphic is for could be lost on some of less-than-tech savvy readers (present company excepted of course), so I added the abbreviation just to make it more obvious. However, this discussion has made me think that he maybe needs something else not bog roll) to help those visitors who don’t know what RSS is…any thoughts on what I might add?
db
David Bradley’s last blog post..Spying on the Chemical Spy
James,
*first, here, have a tissue*
Dude.
You did NOT hurt my feelings. Holy s–t I’m a big girl.
If I can’t know, love, and defend my own design I’ve got a lot of nerve being a designer for most of my life. Plus I had my fingers in my ears, LA-LA-LA.
Thought of going all Elizabeth Barrett Browning on you and Let Me Count the Ways I Love the Men and Their Pens, but you threw me roughly to Harry a while back and I’m not sure how he’d feel about a sonnet to both Pen Men. If, you lived in a thirty mile radius, I’d stalk that forearm of yours just to say you’re a brilliant dude and I’m glad I happened upon you. Oh, and I’d stalk Harry’s bicep, too. If it’s Harry’s.
It’s nice that I don’t have to fork over $24.50 to read you in a book, because this way we get to trade misunderstandings and fall in and out of love and I get to give you a hard time and other annoying stuff. How’s that for a sonnet?
Now go read my blog and leave a bunch of comments all over the place about how much my writing stinks so I can go back to living a life of woe because some dude I’ve never seen doesn’t get MCE. (It really is a problem sometimes that I think emoticons are irritating. A bunch of smileys all over the place might be handy.)
I came back from lunch for this?
Love for now, until rescinded later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Noise Is Essential
@ Grizzly – We’d be happy to hit your blog. Our next available free spot (public on the blog) would be April 4, or you can choose the paid version and have a private email consult within five days.
Your choice – email us at info at menwithpens dot ca
@ Kelly – My heart broke the moment I perceived the slightest bit of interest in my partner in action. I thought you’d spurned me with scorn in favor of older maturity and one big-ass piece of chrome. Rejection. Tears. Aching soul.
Now that I know you’re an equal opportunity gal, we can share. Not with Carson, though. Sorry. And get (*&^%%&* subscribe to comments so that I CAN participate in your discussions. Drives me nuts.
I have some words of wisdom before I depart in Caped Crusader style:
The trick is not staying in love. The trick is to never fall out of love at the same time.
@James: Are you playing with the time machine again? April 4 has come and gone. Don’t break the flux-capacitator, I don’t have a spare handy.
@Kelly: Go where your heart takes you, I’ll survive *sniffle*
One a side note, who the hell is this Carson person?
*yawn*
James, I got subscribe weeks ago, dude, even Naomi knows that, and she’s busy. Like too busy to play here.
I though you were ahead by a day, now you’re behind by four. That weather up there must be something else.
Harry, unending love for taking me when I was a bone at your feet. I guess now I’ve got to try something younger. Can you hand me my cane?
Y’all are just two horrendous teases with Pens. Can somebody tell me what men come to this blog for?
Carson is a doll, and I believe you have just confirmed it. Roommate. Really. Or you’d know.
Ted’s the one I wish were… available.
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Noise Is Essential
@ Kelly: we come to this blog to chat with intelligent women (who know nothing about fetishes)
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the view from the other side.
Oh great, my blog is a pickup joint. Here I was thinking men came for the intelligent conversation and potential to be better businessmen.
@ Kelly – You have subscribe to comment? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!!!
I was unaware that your blog was the “shout about Kelly’s improvements” forum.
That, and I figure if you’ve got something to say you’ll haul your tush (do they say tush in Quebec?) over and say it. If you’re that easily scared off then I’m not very compelling.
NO I DIDN’T ASK.
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Noise Is Essential
It’s impossible to pick up Men who live three bazillion miles away and are invisible. You so lie. I like my men visible, and… ahem… touchable. Whips and chains on a blog just don’t work that well for me.
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Noise Is Essential
@Kelly: How did I confirm that this Carson dude was a doll? What am I missing here? Maybe I’m being thick, or I was up too late last night.
Aight.
I’ve been trying to work all afternoon, and I keep getting mail notifications. I’ve been doing my best to ignore them, but Kelly’s last post…
Aw, hell. That’s all I can say.
- Bob, who is not here to pick up anyone. Or to have intelligent conversation. He’s just here to watch the circus.
Bob Younce at the Writing Journey’s last blog post..Toward Reformation: Bridging the Great Divide Between Print and Internet Writing
I like how the collective response to ‘Is it bad that I craved a beer the moment James mentioned it, inappropriate time of day aside?’ was . . .
Absolute silence.
Which I will take to mean that the community does indeed frown upon me, and I am hereby shunned. Notice how I did that in only a week or so of being a commenter?
@Kelly: I love how the whips-and-chains comment is immediately followed by your latest blog post on . . . Why Noise is Essential. Well played, there.
Tei’s last blog post..Client seeking for the rest of us.
Oh, and Brett, honey, go write more, would you? I’ve read everything in your blog and I want more, please. I’d go comment over there but you seem to live on other people’s blogs lately. Not that this is, you know, a BAD thing. Not when you leave the best comments EVER.
Tei’s last blog post..Client seeking for the rest of us.
@ Tei: very soon. I was down for the count over the weekend with a pretty killer cold, but I expect to post tomorrow morning, and probably again on Friday.
(Thank you, BTW – that was a *nice* compliment!)
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the view from the other side.
@Tei: We weren’t shunning you. I live in Vegas, drinks are poured 24/7. I got distracted by Kelly’s “ah-ha” moment that still has me confused.
@ Tei: PS – you’ve not been shunned. The absolute silence is probably acceptance by the majority here that it is okay to want a beer this early in the day…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the view from the other side.
@ Harry: *jinx* great minds and all that…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the view from the other side.
Heehee. I know other people were distracting, but I, like Bob, have been trying to work and looking at the new MwP emails that keep popping up hoping someone out there would answer my plaintive fishing for reassurance.
Tell you what, people. Next time I need a compliment, I’m just going to come on over here and say: “I need you to say nice things about me.”
And I will expect 20 pings to pop up in my email INSTANTLY. Or I will cry.
And nobody likes a crying rogue. We’re even worse than the sad clowns.
Tei’s last blog post..Client seeking for the rest of us.
@ Tei: if you’re not on Twitter, sign up and start tweeting… that should fulfill that need
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the view from the other side.
Uh, okay. What?
Don’t I need to get people to follow me around on Twitter? Wouldn’t it just be more shouting into the void? You know, “Please love me!” Not that I feel that way in the slightest . . .
The blog is all I can handle, people!
Tei’s last blog post..Client seeking for the rest of us.
Constructive criticism is great…. so long as it’s delivered in a positive tone.
@ Tei:
well, I got all kinds of “get well soons” over the last few days there…
Brett Legree’s last blog post..the view from the other side.
Go to one little meeting, and my email inbox blows up like a balloon. Sheesh.
Harry,
That’s not what you confirmed. Roommate. That’s what you confirmed. Sorry, James will have to explain it.
Gotta go.
Thanks, Bob, not quite as nice as what Tei said to Brett, but it’s what I’m going for here after I get past the relevant and intelligent stuff… so I takes my compliments as I gets ‘em.
Really, gotta go.
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Why Noise Is Essential
@Kelly: I told you Pete was just a roommate!
@tei
“Left in a hurry”
That’s what I’m going to tell my wife the next time she finds me dressed badly..
“Honey, I know, but I had to leave the bedroom in a hurry because you were snoring..”
Duck..
Tony Lawrence’s last blog post..iStatPro and Antec CPU Cooler by Anthony Lawrence
I have asked myself this same question, especially when I find a blog that I really enjoy but it could use a little fixing up here and there (like one I recently discovered with NO RSS link). This also applies to writing. Do you email a blogger to say there’s a typo in that last post? I know I appreciate it when people point out my typos or give me feedback on anything, as long as it’s done in private email and with tact.
I agree with Kelly though. There are enough people who will volunteer for a drive by so maybe it’s not worth it to risk offending someone who didn’t ask. Also, in some cases, I think you’ll be able to tell that a blogger would welcome feedback. I’ve even seen bloggers post the question to their readers.
Emailing about broken links and problems with functionality is something different. That’s letting the person know things aren’t working as opposed to “your design is ugly.” That’s just being considerate to a fellow blogger
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..Jeff Buckley: Grace (Album)
It’s amazing how this comment thread sways WAY off topic, only to suddenly come back to the topic of the post. How do you guys make that happen
@Melissa: Missing RSS button, doh. That reminds me of a blog owner I wanted to contact about his site, because (s)he wrote something in reply to one of my posts. But the comments were closed (on every post), there was no contact form, no email address, no IM, no twitter (can you believe that?), no nothing. It was IMPOSSIBLE to reach that guy or gal and help them out. Needless to say, I never went back there.
Lodewijk van den Broek’s last blog post..7 Little Timesaving Tips for the Workplace
@Lodewijk: Being the Voice Of Reason here, every so often I have to use my powers to nudge someone’s brain. I sense the unsuspecting poster setting their fingers to the keyboard and as soon as contact is made they hear that little Voice inside their head that says, “Time to get back on track.”
Some days are harder than others. We can blame James for that. Fukko the Clown has since left the building in a huff, having been ousted by Little Pen. I can tell you, he was one unhappy clown.
He’ll be back though. They all come back…
Sorry, your anon comment didn’t know that your drive-by shootings were by request… that use of ‘shooting’ in the header implied (or one inferred, actually) that you drop by in random shooting sprees, much to our edutainment.
The suggestion only hoped that an anonymous collection field for websites would allow “random” (and short, minutes-only but valuable and expert-establishing-worthy) attacks. Only, for the side of good, not evil.
Maybe the notes should have read:
“Wish you had a way [like a field form] [for your readers] to anonymously and gently suggest [to you, some choices for] your [if they are indeed selected by you and not requested by the site owner -- who doesn't always know they're hurting themselves] Drive-by-Sunday-shootings [that will certainly improve the stickiness] for well-meaning but UGLY and improvable blogs…”
But then it’s unreadable. Hmm… unreadable may be better than misunderstood — but the fault of both lies with the writer. Who must be mortified by now. Actually. 67 comments, jesuschrist, MORTIFIED.
I need an editor to help edit my nose out of other people’s businesses…
@ Can’t Say – Why be mortified? It was a great comment and brought up plenty of content for blog posting. If it garnered 67 comments, it also shows it had value, and it got people thinking about the right and wrong of it all. Never be mortified for suggesting ideas. There’s value in everything.
I think you brought up an important point: ugly blogs hurt readership. They hurt business. That’s the point that you made – a few simple tweaks can make the difference between a blog being passed over or standing out.
Again, lots of value. So thank you for your comment
Holy Cow…My train of thought pulled out of the station 67 comments ago.
ok, lets see..
You are more then welcome to my e-mail adress ( any of you, not just pen-men) if you want to share constructive ideas and comments on my site. I am very open-minded and LOVE feedback! I would think that anyone wanting to grow in their trade wouldn’t be pig-headed enough to think they had figured everything out on their own.
I also would love some help if anyone can help me get that stinking comment widget to work. I can’t even get it to upload. ( I am a moron with tech stuff), so anyone who stopped by and said, hey…do you need a hand with your site, it looks pretty sad, would be seen as a hero on the side of the road. And I have got to think I’m not the only one out there like that.
So if things were done in the right spirit, I bet lots of people would appreciate it.
Now, that aside, I think there have to be nicer ways to say things than “Hey, you have the ugliest site since my dog’s bottom.” And since we ARE writers here and the Pen Men are particularly GOOD writers, I would expect them to offer constructive critisicm nicely. And I’m sure they would.
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..In the Silence are the Answers?
@Lodewijk, (I had to check three times to make sure I spelled your name right). Oh yes, I’ve bumped into sites like that too. Not sure if they don’t want to be reached or just forgot that readers might want to reach them. Maybe the site is under development, or personal? I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt but surely they were absent for the lecture on Blogging 101.
Here’s another thought I had about this issue:
Isn’t publishing a blog or web site on the Internet akin to putting out other types of media (books, movies, TV, music, etc.)? It’s acceptable to publish reviews on other types of published and produced materials, so why not blogs and web sites? Here in the U.S., when you put yourself or your work in the public eye, it’s a known fact that you’ve opened yourself to receive public scrutiny and criticism. I think that applies here, with some restrictions (hopefully people are tactful and ethical about it).
Melissa Donovan’s last blog post..Jeff Buckley: Grace (Album)
Dear Anonymous, I’m working on it and soon Harry and James will fix me up. Signed, Saddled by Ugly Blog
I think this is tricky and time consuming. James told me my blog was butt ugly and I wasn’t offended but motivated to think through a strategy so you all could help. When you’re new to blogging you may not even be aware of what’s ugly until you spend enough time on other blogs and get a feel for what works well and what does not.
If the commenter is a regular perhaps a private note would be nice, not a full on review but “hey your site is not doing you justice.” As a fellow commenter, I have seen some ugly blogs too but being a member of that club I’ll never throw stones!
Karen!! I didn’t say butt ugly, I said something to the effect like, I’d really like to see you showcase your content more effectively. Or something. It was NICE, what I said. Sheesh. It was a “hey, you’re good, so change your blog” type thing with a smile.
*mutters*
James, ROFL! Well geez you’ve been ignoring me lately, had to do something to get your attention!
It was NICE but you’re always nice, maybe the “butt ugly” was what I said! Hmmm…
Constructive criticism should always be welcomed but in my experience, not everyone can handle brutal honesty, especially when it was something they created. If it’s an unexpected review then many times the website owner will take it a bit personally or be in a state of denial (kind of like when a person is going into foreclosure on their house but they just can’t accept it).
I think what you guys do with Sunday Drive-Bys are great. I’ve socialized in many forums over the years and probably by far one of the most posted-in forum or category are those requesting people to review their website.
People want a review and as far as I’ve seen, you guys only review people’s sites who requested it. Like mentioned above, you’re not going to their site and providing the review in their comment section for their customers to see, that would be bad.
For you guys, I think it makes perfect sense to do Drive-By shootings. It goes with your theme, showcases your writing skills, and is catering to a topic VERY popular online.
As for giving away the reviews for free and the time it takes . . . through the years I’ve found one of the best marketing strategies around is giving things away for free.
I mean, if what you say makes sense to a few website owners, they will probably ask you to do the work.
As for the anonymous email, did the person realize that your drive-by shootings are all requested?
(sorry if this was all said above already – I read through the comments but didn’t have time to read every one).
John Hoff’s last blog post..The Best Rule To Follow: Keep It Simple
What about websites that are solely for the purpose of selling a product? Someone emailed me wanting me to sample their product and review it on Sushi Day, and I hop on over to their website and… it’s a disaster. Misspellings, doesn’t look professional, obviously a free template from somewhere… pretty much looks horrible. I think they are trying to be cool and *hip*, but it’s really not working for them. If the person had not contacted me (their email was also full of misspellings, grammar mistakes, run-on sentences) I would never even consider their product just because the website doesn’t look at all professional.
So… do you think it is alright to tell people (in a nice way, of course) that maybe they should hire a professional designer to design their website if it is a website that is for the purpose of making money, as opposed to a more personal website? And if so, would it be alright for me to recommend your web design services to him?
Allison’s last blog post..It’s Your Time To Shine!
@ Allison – You can always recommend us. Word of mouth referrals are the best kind you can get (and thank you for thinking of us!)
See, this is the exact kind of case that niggles my mind. People, you’re in business. You *need* to look sharp. If you’re hurting your own business, wouldn’t you want to know it?
That said, it’s a tough call. In this case, I think that if it were me, I’d probably say that you’d love to recommend them but that you’re afraid that they may lose the benefit of that referral because the site design detracts from their awesome rockin’ product.
I’d wrap a whole lot of compliments around a small “dude, your site is f-ugly.”
Awesome. I know you guys would do his site justice.
He did start out the email saying something like, he wishes his site were half as good as mine, so maybe that’s a good starting point. Yeah, I’m definitely going to wrap a whole heck of a lot of complements around it… I wouldn’t want to insult him!
Allison’s last blog post..It’s Your Time To Shine!
Me — no spine. Whenever I mention something negative about a Web site, I usually don’t name the site. What can I say? I don’t want to get a reputation for being negative. What if that Web site decides to use my services?
One thing I do speak out on repeatedly… STOP with the gray text on white. Please. This is a bad trend that needs to end. It resembles reading in a fog.
Meryl’s last blog post..Links: 2008-04-11
@Meryl: Personally I like a little ‘off-black’ text. It softens the look of the page. But overdoing it is foggy indeed.
Lodewijk van den Broek’s last blog post..Birth of a Blogger
I’m always afraid someone is going to tell me my blog’s ugly.
Forget the blog, what if there’s someone who’s very unphotogenic yet posts heaps of flickr pictures of themselves on their blog.
Someone who wears super tight clothing to look sexy (more girls tend to do this) but are really ugly and have wrinkles… and act like they are the hottest thing ever.
Oh and they post pictures of themselves with their equally unphotogenic male sidekick. And their blog content is self-centered like all blog content but utterly boring and banal but with the added woe of begging (in the form of wishlists).
In perpective a ugly blog is better then a ugly blog owner.
I found your blog from a link on someone else’s blog (Poewar) and was inspired to click on the link that brought me to this post.) Good article! And I loved reading all the comments – I had to laugh at the “butt ugly” conversation! I’ll be reading more of your blog for sure! Thanks for making my day!
Paige´s last blog post…Rather sad
Hey, I just came across your blog and wanted to tell you that you have great articles. All the best. Cheers, George