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Should You Turn Off Your Telephone?
Wouldn’t you love to pick up the phone and call anyone you’d like? Who do you want to talk to? Is it Halle Berry, or maybe Brad Pitt, or Steve Jobs, or Neville Isdell or the Dalai Lama?
You know there are people out there you’d love to talk to; admit it. It’d be great to pick up the phone, dial anyone you want and chat that person up.
Do you? No. Can you? No. Is that okay? Of course.
It’s perfectly acceptable that there are some people that you simply will never talk to in your life. There is nothing wrong with not being able to communicate with certain people. This is not a questionable action. This is not a situation that should create skepticism, concern or bewilderment.
Think about it: Do you question the integrity of Bill Gates because you can’t talk to him? No. Do you view Charles Denson as a suspicious character because he won’t call you? No, of course not. These executives and their distance from interaction are normal.
And yet, we expect everyone else – the regular, average joe people or the common businessman – to be at our beck and call and to respond to every form of communication that we choose to be the right one.
It’s bloody ridiculous. “What? No phone call? That’s it, you suspicious bastard. You’ve effectively set all my radars on red alert and now I’m going to question your integrity and seriousness as a professional because you won’t take 15 minutes out of your day to talk to me on the phone.”
That’s right, I won’t. I, James Chartrand, no longer do phone. Sorry. It’s out. Gone. Finished, finito and done. Yes, I’m being selfish and stubborn and extremist. And I really don’t feel bad about that at all.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s back up a bit in time, shall we?
Six months ago, my phone lines were open to customers, clients, peers and colleagues (not to mention friends and family). I fully and firmly believed that if I wanted to be a top professional, I had to be reachable in every way possible.
I took calls from Australia at 2am so that I could accommodate clients. I snuck around my house whispering on the phone at 6am to not wake my family. I received phone calls out of the blue during supper and put my family on hold to talk. I set aside my work to accept calls from people who just wanted to make sure I was a flesh-and-blood person. (Trust me, I am.).
I lost many hours on the phone – both from my personal life and from my business life. I dealt with the distractions. I accepted that I lost wages. I humored every single person who wanted a piece of James.
It couldn’t go on. I was spending more time trying to fit five calls into a day than I was working on my clients’ projects. So I started setting limits.
No more calls after 7pm. (“What? What kind of service is this? The virtual world is international, you know…”)
No more calls before 9am. (“What? You don’t open your office before that? Are you lazy and sleeping in?”)
No more calls on weekends. (“What? What kind of web worker are you? Do you want the job or not?”)
Limiting the duration of calls. (“What? Only a half hour? Well, frankly, I can’t fit everything I want to say in that space of time. I’m insulted at your restrictions.”)
Limiting calls to specific hours. (“Only between 1pm and 4pm? What the hell? I can’t be available. You’re just going to have to change your hours.”)
One day, my Muse put her mojo on in a big way. She was strutting her stuff and she wanted me bad. I wanted her too. I grabbed my keyboard, started typing… and the calls started coming in.
Some were scheduled. Some weren’t. Some were urgent ones that needed to be done. Some were just chatty ones that were a waste of time.
After six hours on the phone and looking back over a whole day lost forever, I set the phone down and thought, “What the hell am I doing? When did my time and my telephone availability become a reflection of my integrity, my professionalism, and my ability as a businessperson?”
That was the last day I took a call.
My telephone is now completely restricted to family and close friends. I communicate via email and instant messenger because this is my life, my business and my preference – and there isn’t one thing wrong with that.
I am my own boss and employer. I have the right to choose. I have close friends of mine who are burning out from offering consultation and telephone calls. They are desperately scrambling to change their business model to get away from the phone.
I refuse to let myself get to that point. No way in hell.
To those who claim that my business is no longer accessible and that I am not providing good customer service, I refute your claims. Our business does provide phone service. I have a lovely account associate who is more than willing to spend her time on the phone answering questions or sharing information – and she does a fantastic job.
But a private, direct call straight to Jamie himself? No. I’m sorry. I’m going to put myself on a bit of a pedestal and point to the many people in your very town, your city and the world over that you cannot call.
No one, not one single person, needs to speak directly with me on the telephone. I am not a member of the CIA hording secrets that only I know that can only be whispered over encrypted phone lines in the dark of the night.
I am here. I am available. Contact me. Email me. Message me. There is nothing that I cannot communicate via text. I’m a bloody fast typist with about 20 different email addresses and six different instant messaging logins. You can reach me.
You don’t even have to be a great writer. You could write in bullet points, if you’d like. I’m a smart boy, and I can get a lot of information from just a handful of words. I could care less about your spelling, or whether you use paragraphing or not. Seriously.
Does this attitude cost me jobs? Not often, no. Most people understand (though some think it a little strange and a touch extremist. I’m stubborn that way.).
Sometimes, though, my unwillingness to talk on the phone does cost me an opportunity. I’m sorry it has to be that way, but I refuse to step down and I stand my ground.
These people who would hinge working together on my willingness to talk on the phone are turning their nose up at my skills and abilities for extremely poor reasons that don’t hold water. They question my character, my integrity and my personality based on a phone call.
There’s something odd about that, if you ask me.
So those people are not the type that I prefer to work with. Those people who insist on calls or the deal is off are the ones that started this whole crazy “no-call” cycle.
They lack respect for my needs, my desires and me – and in the same moment, they openly accept that there are some people in life they’ll never talk to on the phone.
Well, folks, one of them is me.
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@ Jesse – The beauty of me is that I make all the ‘mistakes’ and learn lessons the hard way so that no one else has to
What I found ironic was that I initially shunned phone communication but some blog posts around the ’sphere had me thinking, “Yeah, they’re right. Pro business, pro service. Have to do it.”
Harry would tell me I should have followed my gut instinct. *sigh*
@ Janice – I can’t be Merlin. I’m too busy being Puck
@ Nerd – Think of it this way: It’s only temporary. One day, you too will rip your phone out of the wall. I tell you, it’s a good feeling. Especially when it’s your employer’s wall and not your own.
@ Allison – Even if it sang you cool ringtones?
Chuckling. There’s a delightful image. You made me smile.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..A Goal Setting Template-Part 3
What I’ve found is that clients will tend to pick up the phone and “spray” rather than organizing their thoughts through composing an email. It’s so easy to “wander” off course in a phone conversation.
I was feeling guilty because I’ve HAD to begin letting the phone go to voice mail if an appointment hasn’t been scheduled. (I’d even turned off the ringer… then turned it back on out of guilt!) However, I’m feedling emboldened by not only the post, but by other comments as well. I’m turning off the ringer on the phone and this time, I’m going to feel GOOD about doing it!
Thanks James for the encouragement!
Virtual Impax’s last blog post..Comcast Changes Outgoing E-Mail Settings
There have been some really great comments on here. The only thing that I would have to caution against is the thought that clients are a dime a dozen.
Especially being one, that is not how I would like to be thought of ( And I know that PenMen don’t think of their clients that way.)
But there does have to be some balance between communicating the need (benefit) of a different form of communication rather then setting yourself up for a perception (here you go again) that clients are a dime a dozen and that your time is more important than their needs. There is a balance here and marketing and communication are the key.
Fortunetly, I happen to think you will be good at that. IF not, Luckily you have honest friends who will let you know how you are coming across,
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..Loving Laughter
James,
“Listening” all day. Who knew so many people felt so strongly about telephones?
I got a big, serious article in my inbox today on the importance of being available by telephone as a competitive edge. Well-reasoned, bullet-pointed, and all. Funny contrast to ripping it out of the wall.
Two sides to every coin. I hate being a slave to the phone (cell phone ringer is always off, you leave me a message and I call back when I can), and I’m pretty shy about making calls, but I do like voices. Both as a provider, and as a customer. I like to be able to talk to a human being, as long as we’re not wasting each other’s time. Sort of like the manners discussion the other day. Not so much worry about misunderstanding with a voice on the end of a line.
Lots of food for thought here.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Failing. With Style.
Ok, I loved this post and will definitely be a stumble for me.
What else can I say other than I totally agree. Recently I had 2 possible clients who called me back to back (one was a guy I knew not so well but he had my number and the other was someone my cousin referred to me and gave him my number).
Between the two of them I spent an hour and a half on the phone and walk away with a bulleted list that could have been typed up in a matter of minutes.
As it turned out, both of them were just *lookers* and wasted my time.
I think I need to create a clear phone policy as well. Dang. Another thing I gotta put on my list. It just keeps growing and growing.
John Hoff – eVentureBiz’s last blog post..Real Estate Challenge: Which Is A Better Investment – Owning or Renting and Saving
I can tolerate the phone to a certain extent, but I know what you mean.
One thing I’ve seen that seems to work well in a home office is letting the answering machine play secretary. It screens, it lets you get the important parts of a message without having to ask for the same phone number three times because they talk faster than you write….
….and it gets rid of the ones who are probably going to waste your time anyway. (I’ve lost count of how many people have hung up after “And we’ll either pick up, or get back to you shortly.”)
Ravyn’s last blog post..Mass Battle: How to Cover Your Achilles Heel
Right on. Looks like you hit on something here. I became allergic to phones about four years ago and have yet to recover. When I do have to talk on them, I prefer land lines to cell phones. Maybe with so many avenues of online communication it just seems redundant. If I need voice, I much prefer face to face.
Billy, aka BillyProBlogger’s last blog post..Background Info: Blog to the Beat Pt. 2
You realize, James, those same clients are just going to bitch at you for not answering their emails soon enough.
This obsession we have with being in touch any time, all the time is madness. Regardless of the mode of communication, comes a time when we all have the right to be let alone.
Debbi’s last blog post..Lessons Learned (Part 2): Be Brave, Be Strong
@ Debbi – Ahh, but in fast email reply? There, I excel, and with fervor. I *love* my email, and there’s a reason we answer typically within an hour. I think I surprise people by actually being at my desk, heh.
I think it’s because I’m not on the phone
Everyone, your comments are fantastic today, and I’m pleased to see so many new faces in our blog section. I’ve found all the opinions valuable (even those that disagreed) and I’m frankly surprised to discover so much support.
Of course, I’m sure there are plenty of people who disagree with me, but that’s cool too.
Cheers!
No phones here! Well, perhaps on the very rare occasion when a (pre-scheduled and essential) conference call is the only alternative to spending half a day travelling to and from a meeting… Blessings on all answering services, on Caller ID, and on the myriad internet communication methods that make telephone conversations all but redundant.
Benefits: I am more efficient without phone interruptions, so you get a better quality of work from me and you get it done more quickly. And if I do, now and then, choose to pick up the phone when I see your phone number come up on the Caller ID display – you’ll know how very very special you are to me!
Oh this post was full of awesomeness. Thanks for the reminder that yeah, we get to choose. And anyone who doesn’t get it isn’t someone you want to work with anyway.
So …. the way I solved the phone thing (for now):
1. Added to my contact page the sentence “I’m not really a phone person, but I can act like one if I have to …”
(Guess what? Since then hardly anyone calls. Score.)
2. Got a Grand Central # to put on my site. It forwards either to my cell or my office or an answering machine, depending on my willingness-to-talk mood, and sends me the messages via email. Best. Thing. Ever.
3. Okay, get ready for an “Oh, the irony” moment, but I wrote a post yesterday about how all the people who want advice from me should actually be getting it from you. Alas, having not read this yet, didn’t tell them that they should *write* and not call. But yeah, sending everyone your way and warned them that they should have their $30 in hand.
I have a feeling this post will become a secret manifesto for all those people who really, really, really don’t enjoy the phone stuff.
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@ Havi – Ahh, you grace my blog with your peace. And we’re all about secret manifestos. I think that’s why people love us. I hope. Or at least like us a little.
One advantage of being a deaf person… never slave to the phone. I think this has helped me whole career because it forces people to contact me when they truly need me (except some friends and family… they’re the chatty ones and I had to stop using AIM every day).
I think that’s the big reason why I didn’t work crazy long hours all the time. Receiving phone calls twice a year makes it possible to get work done and still have time for water cooler talk.
Thanks for the drink. Back to my desk.
Meryl Evans’s last blog post..Take Advantage of These Productivity Tips
James, you can’t see me but I’m standing up and clapping for you! You’ve made a decision based on a lesson I learned a long time ago (and one which I keep having to learn over and over as I realize it applies to different areas of my life): If you’re willing to accept the consequences of your decisions, you’re free to make any decision you like. You need no one’s permission.
BRAVO!
)
Carolyn Bahm’s last blog post..47?365, No. 65 – Karl F.
@ Carolyn – Ha, now that I read your OTHER comment on the other post, I get this one.
Now. Can you tell me how to escape the consequences of my decisions AFTER I accept them? That’d be grand of you
@ Meryl – While I’m sure being deaf has its challenges and in no way do I mean to insult you, please allow me to say… you lucky thing.
I’m also curious. What *do* you use to replace a phone? IM/email always?
James, I wholeheartedly agree! I use a virtual phone for my office. It is programmed to go straight to voice mail for all extensions from 5:30 pm to 9 am. It has a follow-me announcement feature and emails with messages. I can ignore it and return calls (or more than likely email answers) when it’s convenient for me. I ditched the “real phone” several months ago so am no longer annoyed by ringing. It works and I have had no complaints from clients. Great post on a topic that is rarely discussed.
Karen
I have never heard such an eloquent description of the ridiculous expectations the phone seems to have of me… thank you for giving us all permission to shut that damn thing off (does it apply to Mother-in-Laws too????)
@ Krista – Only if they don’t buy you birthday presents or make good food for you.
Wow, great post! Today I’ve been working on my online graphic design portfolio, and after reading your post decided to remove my number altogether.
I completely agree – 99% of tasks are more efficient and managable when done by e-mail. You can categorise/flag your messages by priority, and have a record of all conversations. It also removes the need for countless scraps of paper and hastily scribbled notes!
I agree with your sentiments completely. I’ve too often been roused from sleep way too early or pestered in the evening when I’m trying to have my dinner. Working for yourself means working when you want, how you want; if a client wants someone available to talk to instantly, they should look for a full-time, on-site member of staff.
That’s funny. We get minimal phone calls too, but probably because we’re in Spain and most of our clients are in the U.S. I keep thinking we are missing out by not having a phone line, but this is making me rethink that.
One thing I would like though is having a voice to put with the name of some of our clients. We’ve had a few for several years and I haven’t talked to them on the phone yet. Kind of strange.
Naomi Niles’s last blog post..Aligning Your Work with Your Beliefs
Not sure how the hell I missed this post, but DAMNIT I love it
I have people ask me all the time why I never give out my personal number and now, I can just save the long winded email and send them here 
Glad to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t give out the phone number to clients. I too have had people turn me down on jobs because of no phone, but if they can’t handle me not having a phone, then obviously they would have been a pain in the ass over the phone anyways. So, forget ‘em 
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