Performance anxiety. We’ve all dealt with it at one time or another.
You need to produce, the whole world is watching (or so it seems) and you feel like your muse has deserted you. You stare at the blank page and suddenly realize that all of your miracle-working brilliance has gone right out the window.
Maybe you try to push through the problem. Maybe you keep telling yourself, “This is stupid. I can do this. Why can’t I do this?”
But pushing through performance anxiety only makes it worse, adding to the stress as you try to make something happen and fail.
You start to procrastinate. Your focus is shot. You might even go so far as to make yourself sick over the situation. Time is running out, the deadline looms closer, and there’s no hope in sight.
What’s Your Anxiety?
Performance anxiety falls into three categories: Before, during and after.
Some people choke and they haven’t even left the gate. The mere thought of not being good enough stops many people dead in their tracks. Before the project begins, you’re already finding excuses not to do it.
The second type of performance anxiety strikes when you’re in the middle of a project. You began with a ton of confidence, you’ve rolled along well, and then suddenly, everything grinds to a screeching halt.
You start to wonder what others think of your work. Your mind starts playing tricks on you. You start to ask yourself, “Is this right? Do they really like this? Are they just telling me what I want to hear? Did I bite off more than I can chew? Can I deliver the quality I promised?”
The last type of performance anxiety hits after completion. You may have received positive feedback, but you still see faults with the project. Nothing anyone says can convince you that you did a good job.
All of these anxieties stem from two things: self-confidence and perfectionism.
A Shot of Writing Viagra
When you’re suffering from performance anxiety, you have to know how to fix the problem. Don’t worry; all is not lost. Once you break through the wall, you’ll be off and running with more steam than you had before.
- It’s not you! Realize that many of these doubts have nothing to do with your self-worth. You know that you’re good at your job. You have skills. If you didn’t, you probably wouldn’t have been hired for the job. You also know your limitations. Just do the best you can with what you have and learn from what you don’t know.
- Use your downtime. You already know that you don’t know everything. I’ve had plenty of moments where I’ve faced having to learn something knew. Sometimes you just have to learn on the fly because time constraints won’t allow you to delve into deeper understanding. Once the job is over, look back and learn the why’s and how’s. Use the time you have between jobs to expand your base of knowledge. Do a couple of side projects just for you to figure out the best way to accomplish the task the next time.
- Be a Boy Scout. No one achieves great success without being prepared. Take the time to plot out every step you’ll need to take ahead of time. Cover all your bases as much as you can. What obstacles do you think you’ll encounter? What kind of shortcuts will save you time?
- In the moment. Don’t look at picky clients as the enemy. I’ve learned a great deal from sticky situations where I was pushed beyond my comfort zone. Sure, it’s a bitch when it’s happening, and if you have to walk away to regain your composure then by all means do so. Come back with a clear head and realize that people aren’t out to get you.
- You’re the only one who knows. Face it. The world of writing and graphics is a thankless job. No one but you will ever know how much blood, sweat, and tears you’ve poured into a project. People only see the spectacular results. They take the person who worked hard on the job for granted because a good worker makes a job look easy. Cut yourself a break. You deserve it. As long as you know in your heart that you did the absolute best you could do, take the criticism, learn from it and let the rest slide. Decide what you could use for the next round. Each time, you’ll build your confidence and skills.
Performance anxiety happens to everyone. When it happens, go easy on yourself. Most of the time, you’ll find you’re just having a weak moment and it’s no big deal.
While I generally just write for myself or my blog readers, I can appreciate the thoughts behind this post.
I experienced something akin to performance anxiety a number of weeks ago. I had been reading so many “how to” blogging articles that I became very self-conscious of what I was writing and became a bit scared of trying to write something substantial, thinking “how am I going to write anything good enough?”
As a result of this worry, I wrote a number of shorter, more superficial posts which didn’t seem to go over as well and that lowered my mood further. But I was still compelled to post daily!
It took some time and rethinking to get back to a better frame of mind. I forced myself to take a day off, just to break the cycle. I also took some time to review my output during that period and was pleased to find that it was somewhat better than I thought.
I’m feeling more positive about things these days and I’ve changed things around a bit, bringing back the “Catch The Brainwaves” series (I had put it on hiatus because I had been overdoing it.) Things are improving and Broadcasting Brain is growing well on several fronts.
In summary, I can attest to the wisdom of your words. Nicely done.
Mark Dykeman’s last blog post..Ten uncanny blog post ideas
Sometimes I think that this can mean that you are actually doing a good job. The trick is to realize this.
I find this a lot with parenting (how is this related? well, perhaps because I use stories to teach my kids) – always questioning myself, wondering if I’m doing a good job, and then it can cause me to procrastinate in other areas – like my writing.
But I think if you stop asking the questions, you have stopped caring. As you said, sometimes you just have to go easy on yourself. We are all human, and we have faults.
We fall, we get back up again, and keep walking.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..do something crazy.
Harry,
Your descriptions of performance anxiety had me laughing and wincing:
Terrified when I haven’t even left the gate? Check.
Melting in the middle of a project? Got that.
I think I use all of your tips sometimes, especially Boy-Scout-preparation and nobody-knows-but-me.
In the end, this is what I’d say gets me through:
Very cool exterior. (Just don’t get close enough to see my heart beating through my chest.)
Stubbornness.
Relentless optimism.
Joy.
Balls.
Great post, Harry. You always know just how to word things to make me think.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Technology, the Time-Waster
For me it’s usually about perfectionism. That is an old demon that I have to knock down once in awhile when it raises its ugly head.
When I start to hear my self-talk saying things like “That’s a dumb idea, *they* will think it’s stupid ( the illusive *they* that judges but isn’t really anyone in particular)”
then it has become a signal to me that I am heading into the muck. Time to walk away and readjust my brain waves.
Good tips!
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..The Garden Gate
Nice one.
I still suffer from performance anxiety though now it’s not as bad. When I first began freelancing it kept me from applying to jobs for which I was more than qualified. When I became more experience, I had a tough time starting because I spent a lot of time wondering if I’m good enough.
Now if I’m asked to speak or blog where other probloggers are speaking or blogging it’s all I can do to get up the nerve. I always fail I’ll pale in comparison.
I was so relieved when I found out other writers and bloggers felt the same way!
Your post rocked, thanks.
Okay, is it just me? A sub-header called “Use Your Downtime” in the “A Shot of Writing Viagra” section has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read all week.
Amazingly, I find that I write better under pressure. A year ago or so one of my clients contacted me about an article that was supposed to be completed that day — I had forgotten all about it. But I took that nervous energy, focused on the article, and turned it around within a couple of hours. A little past “business hours” but I did finish it! (Luckily, I had performed so well in the past for this client that she quickly forgave my forgetfulness on this one project…)
I realize I got lucky there — usually you want time to let it cool and do some rewriting — but that pressure was all the Viagra I needed I guess. It is a piece that I am proud of, especially since it could have been such a disaster.
I tend to think of this as writing without a net rather than performance anxiety (though both amount to the same thing). You’ve got to get across that wire as quickly as possible without falling. And there is no turning back if you miss a step. Again, I don’t recommend this approach. But there is a certain thrill that comes with it when you are faced with it.
~Graham
Graham Strong’s last blog post..Article on Web Content Good Lesson for All Writing
Hehehe, Graham, I thought I was the only one who notices that stuff. Then James puts on his frowny face. He’s not here now…
I do that with proposals, sometimes. They just weight me down until eight hours before I’ve promised to have them in, then I sail through. Funny, in college I never did that with papers or anything (though I did have the same tendency to bite off so much that I was still chewing as I handed the project in).
Maybe it’s all perfectionism, like Wendi said. I want to deliver delight, and that’s a pretty tall order.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Technology, the Time-Waster
@Graham & Kelly,
Gutter-mind here too, I just took it as a given
Brett Legree’s last blog post..do something crazy.
I have my two cents to add.
I learned a long time ago that “just do it” works. I also learned that many people produce their best work under pressure (right, Graham?). And additionally, I learned that when you have an audience, you tend to be even better.
I used to compete in equestrian shows. Jumping, to be precise. Many of the other riders were girls (young, giggly and horsecrazy) with a few of us more mature (read: older) riders their role model heroes.
Anyways. We were a small gaggle lining up our horses to enter the next competition. I watched as rider after rider moved away from the head of the line to the rear. One girl burst into tears. One looked so white I thought she’d drop. Almost everyone was nervous as hell…
And they were making themselves worse. They were feeding off each other’s anxiety, building up fears in their head and drawing out the anticipation so long that they’d be a basketcase by the time they rode through the gate.
Basketcase and large horses do not mix, people.
So I trot on up to the head of the line and ask a panic-stricken girl to move her horse so that I could be first. Gladly, she did. Then someone else edged in front of me and they went through the gate before I could.
“Crap,” I muttered under my breath.
“Aren’t you GLAD?” The girl was stunned. “I’m GLAD I’m not first!”
“Let me tell you something,” I leaned forward. “Go right after me. Got it? I’m next, but you stay right where you are and go right after me. Do you know why?”
She looked horrified and shook her head.
“Because all these people,” I waved my hand at the lineup behind us, “have to measure up to what we do. We,” I pointed to the first rider in the arena, “only have to be as good as he is. Or better,” I added as the rider knocked down three poles.
“You can do that, right?” I smiled at her. “I wouldn’t ever want to go last. Way too much performance anxiety. Look at them.”
My turn came, and I moved forward. The girl straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin and firmly took her place as next in line.
She beat me, little bugger.
I’ve found 2 things help relieve performance anxiety (when writing, people):
1. managing expectations (those of my clients and my own).
2. just write the damn thing.
On the first point, I’ve become adept at setting clients’ expectations with their projects. They need a 1,000-word article on how to find the best memory card for their digital camera?
No problem.
They need a 500-word article that digs deep into the history of British rock?
Yeah, that’s a problem. And I let ‘em know it’s a problem. That’s why I mean about managing expectations. Far less performance anxiety that way.
On the second point, I’m sure everyone of us has felt the discouragement of staring at a blank screen, not knowing what to write.
Personally, I’ve found that if I just start writing, the words come out easier. Typically, the research is already in front of me. It’s merely a matter of crafting the content to suit the client’s needs.
So, I tell myself, “Just write the damn thing. You can fix it during the editing stage.”
And the words begin spilling forth.
That’s what works for me.
@ Kelly – I don’t frown at stuff like that. I didn’t even notice it until SOME people mentioned it. I think Viagra and downtime sound wonderful. Not that I need that or anything…
Perfectionist here.
I’ve found that anxiety isn’t real. It ghosts around you until you put the pencil to the paper. Then, it vanishes.
Jay Francis Hunter’s last blog post..Simple Guide to Highlighting Content Within Your Posts for Those with Limited Technical Skills
Augghhhh! Performance anxiety!!! Are you guys psychic? A colleague and I just worked ourselves through a spot of this last week. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone but it happens to artists too. I ( also chuckled through the analogy, too. Not that I would be the one to point it out , not me…)
One of the most useful tools we have is when you’re stuck, dragging feet, or just, needing a bag to breathe deeply into, is to go do something different for just a while. Shake it off, shake it up, let go for a bit.
I often use Douglas Adams’ Learning How to Fly excerpt. Key words- “Don’t look down “, Don’t wave at anyone”, and “Don’t intentionally try to miss the ground.” Distraction is key. And before you know it, voila. Flying.
It is a lot about trying to be totally in the moment, not self conscious, focused on the bits of it as you go, not projecting forward or in reverse….like creating a beautiful line, feeling the texture as the paint is pulled across the linen or the paper. If you let the guys on the sideline distract you from that, or your own inner critic takeover. Yep. Plop flat on the ground. Or worse. You never start in the first place. Or even worse, you don’t get to enjoy what brings you there in the first place.
Okay chuckling again as I think of Harry’s analogies.
If you want to read the excerpt:
http://www.skygod.com/quotes/hitchhikers.html
PS: Love the equestrian story James.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Wabi Sabi Wednesday
Yes, all analogies were intentional. I was having some fun after two weeks of not being able to produce a damned thing.
@Mark: It seems like everyone is going through the same thing this month. Must be something in the water.
@Brett: good point. The questions are like pain, it lets you know you’re still alive
@Kelly: Another prerequisite for being the Voice of Reason. The thing is though, I don’t start out saying to myself “how can I make everyone think”. It’s more a matter of, “I need to think about this, why isn’t anything working?” Sometimes by writing it out, I figure out what’s wrong and what needs changing. Really, it’s all about me. I just disguise it better than James. (insert wink here)
@Wendi: Yes, a lot of it does come down to perfectionism. Sometimes good enough is good enough.
@Deb: I’m sure even Shakespeare had his moments of doubt too. We’re all in good company.
@Graham: I think it was in Stephen King’s Misery that I first came across the concept of diving into the blank page. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t. Last week, it didn’t. That blank page/screen kept mocking me. Eventually I do get to the point where I say screw this, and just start writing. James can always tell when I’m writing from a stream of consciousness – he has to do a lot more edits.
@James: I’ve had tests and tournaments like that too. Waiting was hell. I always felt that by going first, I was the one setting the standard for everyone else.
@Damon: Setting expectations is great, but it’s not always possible. What do you do when you get the vague client that tells you to just make something look pretty and no matter how much you try to drag out of them what they really want, you don’t get any firm answers?
@Jay: I need to get me one of those Ghostbuster pencils.
@Janice: I am psychic and you haven’t been wearing your foil helmet.
@james…sorry to hear you have to carry that dissapointment with you until today.
)))
@Harry- THANKS…this was so encouraging. To read your post and then the others and see it is a common thread, despite the “manly” analogies. (wink)
Rather than give my zen like response and say breathe or pause, I will fess up to my two “oh no, I am stuck or bored to tears on this project” bust through therapies.
Take Ginger and go for a long walk and run with her in the park. She teaches me to PLAY and quit taking all this so seriously. It is important to meet deadlines and make people happy, but truly, there is nothing I am doing that is going to stop the world from turning if I don’t do it perfectly. She rolls over on her back and plays with all fours in the air………
Secondly, I have written a lot of client website copy or chapter outlines from the bathtub!
My two very small sense…..
Harmony
Harmony’s last blog post..The Moment And Money
A very good article. Whether Harry meant it to be or not, it was actually a motivational piece that can be applied to anything we need or want to do in life. Harry must have some Psychology training or knowledge lurking somewhere in his mind. I read the article a couple of times because I thought it contained thoughts important enough to think about every time I have Performance Anxiety about anything! Well done!
@Harmony: I do the same thing with the cats. They always seem to know when I’m stressed. They’ll keep walking across the desk until I say the magic words, “Wanna go out?”
Then they bolt for the back door and we go outside. I soak up the sun while the two of them turn into small, furry cows and start grazing on the grass. Life is good.
@Janice Thanks for that link. A little bit of Douglas always makes me chuckle no matter how many times I’ve read it.
@James Great story!
Fear and anxiety! It’s amazing how powerfully we can be affected by what other people think of us and our work. I’m sure there’s an entire branch of psychology that deals with it, because it seems to shape everything! What are we all so afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen? Why do we care so much about other people looking at us and finding us wanting? Why do we have this need to be perfect? How did we get to this point, and more importantly, how do we get past it?
@Harry These are great suggestions. Thanks!
Nicole
Nicole’s last blog post..All Things to All People
@Harmony- OMG!! Thanks for reminding me! I spent a huge amount of last year at my friend’s house in Santa Fe, creating like crazy. Every evening, about dusk, having watched another magnificent sunset, I would pour a cognac, fill the huge tub and soak with lots of bubbles….best creative time in the world. Problems solved, or at least…seemed trivial for a while.
Alas there were no dogs or kittens. Just the howl of coyotes.
@Harry- Damn, omniscient too!
@ Jay- some of those pencils for me too please.
Janice Cartier’s last blog post..Wabi Sabi Wednesday
@NIcole- oh good! You are so welcome. Makes me chuckle too. I had a choice in college, a painting class with psyho- masochistic head of department, or Theatre d’Absurd. I picked the one I thought would serve me best.
Always looking in odd places for good muses…
Janice Cartier’s last blog post..Wabi Sabi Wednesday
As a musician, I’ve experienced my fair share of performance anxiety. One thing I try to do is look at a performance as an opportunity, like wow, I get to play in front of all focus off of myself and all of the tiny things that could go wrong.
What happened there? That comment should say, what an opportunity it is to play in front of people and share music. I find it really helpful in shifting the focus off of myself and all of the tiny things that could go wrong.
Harry,
Exactly. I’ll review the day, or the weekend, and give myself crap for everything I didn’t do right. And then, I’ll come to the realization that I did a damned fine job 98 percent of the time.
Sometimes it takes an external observer to tell you this. I’ve had people tell me not to be so hard on myself because I have a busy life.
And when that happens, I breathe a sigh of relief…
Then go right back at it!
Brett Legree’s last blog post..do something crazy.
@Mark: Nope, no training at all. Just a little research, and personal observation and experience.
@Mary: Blame it on Fukko – he’s in league with the Tyops Demons
@Brett: but if you’re the same way I am, you also tell yourself that “busy” isn’t any kind of excuse, so the cycle continues.
@Harry: exactly, busy isn’t an excuse for me… I can do just one more little thing, I’ll say… then one more… then it is midnight, and I have to get up early
Brett Legree’s last blog post..do something crazy.
@Harry
If I’m unable to get a clear understanding of what a client wants, I have 2 choices:
1) I can decline the project.
2) I can proceed, knowing that my output may not match their undisclosed expectations.
To the first point, I have no problem declining a client’s project. Usually, I’ll ask some clarifying questions. If the client’s response doesn’t clear things up, I’ll ask again.
Some clients will get pissed off by the questions. I don’t mind. I’m a reasonable man. At the end of the day, logic trumps emotion. Recently, I had a potential client approach me with specs that were as transparent as a brick wall. I asked him to clarify. His response muddied the waters further. I let him know that I didn’t believe I could add value to his project at this time.
I have another client who wanted to commission me for 1,000 articles. I suggested we start with 15. Why? Because that would give me a chance to understand his expectations. And to see if we’re well-suited to work together.
To the second point, I just finished a project where the client gave me very little direction. I asked him a few questions to clarify his expectations. He replied, “You choose. You’re the writer. I trust you.”
Fine. Off I went. I produced the content and he loved it.
BUT, what if he had said, “Damon, your content sucks. It’s nowhere near what I wanted.”
I’d have replied, “You’re right and wrong. The content doesn’t suck. I don’t deliver content to clients that sucks. Ever. That said, it may very well not be what you wanted. Given how sparse your directions were, that was always a possibility.”
As I said, I’m a reasonable man.
If I ordered a graphic from The Men and simply said, “Just give me something cool-looking,” I’d expect a question or three (or simply, “get lost, Damon.”)
Forgot to mention — this post also reminded me of that Monty Python skit.
And now it’s time for novel-writing, which today comes from the West Country, from Dorset.
(Voice of first reporter). Hello, and welcome to Dorchester, where a very good crowd has turned out to watch local boy Thomas Hardy write his new novel “The Return of the Native” on this very pleasant July morning…
Now that’s performance anxiety.
~Graham
Graham Strong’s last blog post..Article on Web Content Good Lesson for All Writing
Fantastic post. I keep coming late to these things. I’m trying to sleep so much that my body forgets it’s ill.
The problem with sleeping so much? All my projects have been on stand by. Now, they’ll get in when they’re due, because I am a freak about meeting deadlines, but that morning when you sit down and know you only have eight hours to crack it out? That morning sucks. And I will be reading this post again, then. Because there’s nothing like a good shot of procrastination when you’re hit with the performance anxiety.
James, the horse story was awesome. It’s so true. I used to do that in college when we gave presentations. Who wants to go first? Me me me me me.
Tei’s last blog post..Milestones in Blogging
@ Graham- had to go find it…Falling down funny, the transcript….thanks.
Now back to my studio.
Hey BTW, thanks for the Canadian pop and geo. lesson the other day.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Wabi Sabi Wednesday
Harry,
It’s always all about ourselves, in a way. Human nature. Good writers are connected in to that psychic flow so that “all about you” is also all about others, IMO.
I like to think you knew what you were writing. You are the pro.
And a provocateur. You Men are more alike than you admit.
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Technology, the Time-Waster
@Kelly: At least the trouble I start is a little more subtle than the raging infernos James starts. And most of the time, no one ever realizes it was me that started it.
@Janice – honey the tub is the answer. But perhaps the cognac had something to do with the Bliss! wink wink
Harmony’s last blog post..The Moment And Money
Crazy like a fox, darlin’. Like a fox.
Kelly’s last blog post..Inspiration Points: Technology, the Time-Waster
@ Harry – I realize. Oh yes.
@ Harmony- chuckling
@ Kelly and Harry- you have to watch the quiet ones…all cat lovin’ cuddly and stuff, He rides a Harley …this should be a clue. And hmmm, is that a quiver? Target practice, not foreign to him. Sneaks those subliminal visuals in too…Ahem…yes I read it.
Don’t think for a minute that he’s not always up to something…not one minute.
But then, aren’t we glad?
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Wabi Sabi Wednesday
@James: Damn. I’m going to have to be more subtle from now on.
@Janice: I’m a Sagittarian, being an archer was written in the stars. Hmm…may have to try a bow on the next drive-by…silent death from above…
Oh, and it’s not a Harley. I’m a tried and true Honda man. The only Harley we have sits collecting dust in the office. Besides, you meet the nicest people on a Honda.
Harry:
YES! Sagittarian Honda-lovers UNITE!
Tei’s last blog post..Milestones in Blogging
@ Harry- Hey, go for it. Arrows won the day at Senlac. That would be a fun read.
Conquering blogs one well placed arrow at a time. Love the visuals on that.
Hmm, doesn’t Sagitarius ride a horse?
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Wabi Sabi Wednesday
Janice,
Sagittarius IS a horse. Sort of. A centaur. A centaur who shoots arrows.
Gods, I love my zodiac sign.
Tei’s last blog post..Milestones in Blogging
Yeah, I get a freakin’ crab and schizophrenic twins. Oh joy.
But I do have a lion in there somewhere… rawr!
If it helps at all, James, I was born in the Year of the Pig, Chinese Zodiac. Which is WAY fun when you’re a kid who skipped a couple grades and all the other kids got to be in the year of the Monkey.
Tei’s last blog post..Milestones in Blogging
@ Tei – Pig here too. I’m doomed. But I have friends in the pen, yay!
Tei & James- Ahh yes, took a look. thanks… hey I am likin’ that…I get a water bearer….a dragon….air….but my moon is in the ram…Need a shovel to go with that water carafe….: but I play very well with monkeys, rats. .and pigs????
Clean up on aisle three.
Are we working here or what? Feeling looser, anxiety gone…phew… Men With Pens.. THE SPA version.
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Wabi Sabi Wednesday
Oh, I never can resist…
James, the lion’s in your pocket, and baby, he’s ready 2 roar.
Later,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Naomi Dunford’s “I Never Called It a Meme,” Meme
@Kelly: Don’t encourage him.
You guys should totally use a bow for the next drive-by… that would be cool.
Brett Legree’s last blog post..do something crazy.
*Kelly pouts* You know, Harry, frowny faces are illegal in Vegas.
Terribly tired Prince lyrics, on the other hand, are always welcome.
Kelly’s last blog post..Naomi Dunford’s “I Never Called It a Meme,” Meme
With Brett on this one.. pullease, pretty please ????
Janice C Cartier’s last blog post..Wabi Sabi Wednesday
@Janice – No prob! It was fun!
~Graham
Graham Strong’s last blog post..Article on Web Content Good Lesson for All Writing